Swedish Headwreck....

[nicko75]

ok, long story, ill try my best to be brief...!

as a bit of context, im 33, always been told im pretty good looking and confident and have always done well with girls - but this situation has knocked me sideways!....

Back in June me and some mates went on holiday to Sweden and at 2am in a bar i met this super super hot Swedish girl (shes 23). we got on well and she stayed out partying with me and my mates after her mate went home. She had a boyfriend at the time but we stayed up all night talking and then eventually found ourselves in the lift at my hotel where we had an intensely passionate encounter. We went to bed for a while then eventually she got a taxi home at 8 in the morning. We swapped numbers altho she felt a bit guilty i guess.

I assumed nothing would come of it and certainly wasnt expecting anything until she sent a "double text" asking if i was dissing her as i had spent a a few hours without replying to one of hers (i was off in a different city by this time). At this point it got me thinking.....gosh, she really is interested...

When i returned home to the UK, we stayed in touch and after a week or so were spending 2 hours a night on the Skype phone / webcam to each other. She started saying I was amazing and all this other wonderful stuff and she would come home early from nights out to speak to me. I began to take things seriously and would call her while i was on nights out and the exchange of compliments on both sides grew and grew.

She split with her boyfriend of 4 years on realising that she had feelings elsewhere and I paid for her to come to the UK for a weekend - we had a wonderful time, very romantic and passionate too. It felt like we were totally into each other. A month passed with more daily and intense contact and - when she finished her summer job in Sweden - she came to stay for 2 weeks at the end of August. I showed her a wonderful time, going for dinners, walks, boat trips and fun nights out. It was her birthday just before she came to see me so i arranged a special "birthday day" for her while she was here and gave her a necklace and some sexy underwear. Again the passion was intense and we felt extremely close. She told me I drive her crazy..

Problem was, i had started to fall - or had possibly fallen already. When we went out at the weekend for some partying we encountered our first problems. She gets A LOT of attention, which im cool with - its gonna happen. Problem is, a lot of the time when we out in clubs and bars it was as if i wasnt there - she openly chatted and smiled away with various guys in front of me and it didnt look like we were together. My questions and doubts on seeing this body language were dismissed as jealousy....

Anyway, the 2 weeks ended on a high with a teary departure at heathrow - she has now gone to New York until Xmas to study - she will be back tho.

The first week in new york, the level of contact was maintained as was the "conversation" from her...."i miss you soooooo much", " i wish i was in your arms".... etc etc....however, the last few weeks this has waned - we are still in touch and she will often initiate Skype chat but she doesnt seem to have much time for the face to face phone calls and the intensity has gone from a lot of her words....

I am left here having fallen for her, feeling like i have been mugged off. I will be in New York in 5 weeks and we plan to meet. Problem is i dont know whether to "play it cool", ask "whats going on" or just let her chase me altogether.

I would understand if i had been nagging her for 3 months and chasing her but this has been mutual and if anything, she chased me at the start (when i asked her what she saw in me one of the things was "the challenge" - oh dear!!). I also think i maybe lost "the game" in London when i saw her flirting with other guys and i didnt really handle it too well - it just made me feel a bit crap and i tried explaining this to her but she didnt really get it....

Any thoughts /advice!? should i just forget it! (i could but i guess i would want answers!!).... Cheers

[Sanctuary]

I just wanna say that Swedish girls are hot.

[jayne]

Just smile at her kiss her on the cheek next time you meet up.

Some girls don't understand, there's jelous guy and then there's girls that flirt. There are some rules we girls should really follow.

Never touch another man whilst laughing at his jokes when boyfriend is around it's not fair how can you protect her and claim her as yours when she's flirting.

If this happens again playfully smack her bum and with a nod lead her in a different direction.

The payfull smack means you are claiming her, showing her that you have control of the situation, this will make her feel protected you will appear as a strong alfa male not jelous. (But don't lose you cool and don't talk with her about this.)

If she follows your nod she is putting you in charge again this will make her feel protected that your taking charge, that you are the alfa male. Us girls love that. But again don't talk about this with her.

A girl just needs to feel boundaires when her male is around we challenged guys we want you to take control but we'll tell you something completey different. and thats another story. hahaha

[Gigabitch]

You need to revise your expectations and enjoy the ride. No, she's probably not your future wife. Yes, it's likely that you'll eventually get dumped for another guy. That doesn't mean you can't have a blast while it lasts.

[girl68]

Well lookie here, it's just like when men chase girls then give them up after they've got what they wanted (typically sex).

Switch roles and it looks just like your situation. You were a thrill to chase, she got you, you fell- she don't want you no more, the thrill is long since gone.