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Thread: University is going to brake me to pieces

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
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    University is going to brake me to pieces

    I have been with my girlfriend for almost 8 months now, I’m about to go uni and she's going to start year 13. However it looks like we are going to break up at the end of the week due to uni...

    She is my first and only girlfriend and the only person which i have ever truly loved. I’m her second relationship but she never been so close to anyone and feels the same way on how lucky we are to have found each other. We make such a good couple and I do adore her and love her to bits. I even secretly picked a uni so it was closeish to home (about 1.20h away) to try and prevent this from occuring but still seems too far away...

    Reflecting over the situation I don’t want it to end, but her mind seems to be made up that its best if we brake up now on good terms instead of trying it out and falling out. But I would marry her tomorrow; she has turned my life around and made me the happiest boy in the world. I had loads of problems during childhood, moved a lot of places and countries, parents braking up, mum getting beaten up etc etc. And I’ve never found so much happiness and now its just going to go again and it feels like I’m going to have to start again from scratch.

    I don’t know if I’m going to cope, I really don’t want to end this and I’m scared I’m going to get depressed or so. I cry every night for hours and I can’t deal with it. My girlfriend seems to deal with it better due to previous relationship but she cries as well. She’s convinced that it’s better to try new things while I can at uni but why would I want to do this to throw away what we already got? I did initially agree to her opinions but now I really dont, I want to be with her. I'm scared that if we brake up we will never be back together. Again she feels the same way but she keeps telling me if we were meant to be we will get back together.

    I really don’t know what to do and I want to be with her and I’m getting so many emotions through my head, bursts of sadness, happiness and even feel scared at some points. I don't understand why we can't improve our odds of being together in the future by staying together instead of taking the chance were we could meet another person to fill the spot. She is my perfect girlfriend, all I could dream for. And now I'm going to lose her.... it just feels like its all about her and nothing about me. Like braking up because of what her friends will think, need to concentrate on her studies and other little things. I know she loves me to bits but its upsetting me that she wont give it a go and I think I'm going to come off worse although I'm in new surroundings and she’s stuck in an every day routine.

    I don't know what I should do, try and persuade her or just accept it.... I just don't know. Its caused me to lose motivation in all my future uni life. And I feel I have to go to uni because I don't want to let my family down because too much has gone into me to get this far.

  2. #2
    IndiReloaded's Avatar
    IndiReloaded is offline Yawning
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    Don't EVER sacrifice your education for 'love'. Noone can ever take your education away from you. Love, sadly, can sometimes be fleeting.

    Not saying you won't end up marrying this gal. But chances are slim. Few high school sweethearts survive their growing years together and get married.

    Education is one of the keys to your future. If this gal really loves you, she will understand. If your love is strong, you will end up together in the end. If she doesn't, or is very immature, she will put her feelings ahead of your future. Do what you need to now to ensure your future, which is to focus and work hard in uni. You will both benefit from it in the end.
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
    --Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh

  3. #3
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    I just spoke to her and i've managed to clear a lot from my mind. Your right I have to take this opportunity and if our love is so strong it won't fade away and we can get back together

  4. #4
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    hi bennmf, i was in the exact situation last year, first love, first girlfriend, first year at uni, same thoughts going through mine and my ex's mind. when your student loan goes though you will have enough money to see her every weekend. my ex came up one week, i went down to see her the next. it worked really well for us. in my eyes, being apart for a week or so brings you closer together.
    tell her to at least give it a shot. it didn't affect my education at all.
    unfortunately we broke up for something totally different and im trying to get over her right now. hope it works out for you both, good luck.

  5. #5
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    Oct 2008
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    It sounds like you really want it to work but she's not to sure. It can if u both want it to n stay toghether and treat it like any long distance relationship. it'll take work but together u should be able to do it. just make sure u still have fun. me n my gf have got that next year, we're both s**tting it, but decided if we want it to work it will. so really i have no experience in this but i'm presuming from what i've rtead on here n common sense. good luck tho man

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