My "dream partner"

[NLCtech]

As you may have read in another post, I am 31 and have never been in any type of relationship. Part of that may be because I'm too picky, but I have had high standards from the time I was a teen.

Here is what I am looking for in a girl. Does she exist?

1. I would like her to be around the same age as me, plus or minus 3-4 years.

2. Someone who is mature, down to earth, and is genuinly a nice person.

3. Someone who doesn't drink and party. Social drinking is one thing, but not getting drunk. A drunk girl is a huge turnoff to me. Nothing wrong with having a few drinks, but not getting wasted.

4. Someone who is not into the tat and piercing thing. both are instant turnoffs for me.

5. Someone who will be faithfull, dedicated, and loyal no matter what. Someone who will never cheat. I've seen it happen to people and how bad it hurts. I would never cheat, and would not want to be cheated on. If she wants to go out with her friends for a night out or something like that, I want to be comfortable letting her, and knowing without a doubt that she is not flirting with other guys or worse.

6. Someone who understands me. for who I am. Someone I can sit down and talk to, cry, and pour my heart out on who will truely understand me and my issues. (and i can do the same for her.) Someone who can feel comfortable coming to talk to me about any thing, any time.

7. As weird is this may sound, I hope whoever I meet is a virgin, as I am one myself. While it won't necesarily be a deal breaker if she is not, I have kept my virginity for my whole 31 years of life, (with pride at that), it sure would be nice if my first time was with someone who it's also their first time.

Am I really being too picky here? I'd love to hear what you think.

[Enigmos]

no, i don't think you're asking for too much. but, in exchange for that, do you offer something equitable?

[Lipp]

When you reach 30, as a guy, no one is going to believe that you pridefully kept your virginity.

[vashti]

i think the concern is that although you claim to be "picky", many people will consider someone your age with absolutely NO relationship experience to be relationship-phobic.

[ecojeanne]

you sound like a perfectionist. this actually is never going to be a good thing. someone you choose will have a flaw somewhere and you will immediately reject them no matter how much you protest on here. you are also quite scared too i reckon. you need to stop analysing and just fookin do it, jump in and get your feet wet. there are no rules. that, my dear is the one big thing i discovered for myself having had my first proper relationship when i was 31. stop feckin around and complaining about how there must be somethin wrong. it's so much easier than i thought. actually i would compare it to getting up to sing kareoke. i can't get up, i'm scared, shaky, terrified even but when i finally get up there ya can't get me down. whether you are 'good' at the relationship is all subjective at the end of the day. practice makes perfect.

[DoesntMatter]

As you may have read in another post, I am 31 and have never been in any type of relationship. Part of that may be because I'm too picky, but I have had high standards from the time I was a teen.

Here is what I am looking for in a girl. Does she exist?

1. I would like her to be around the same age as me, plus or minus 3-4 years.

2. Someone who is mature, down to earth, and is genuinly a nice person.

3. Someone who doesn't drink and party. Social drinking is one thing, but not getting drunk. A drunk girl is a huge turnoff to me. Nothing wrong with having a few drinks, but not getting wasted.

4. Someone who is not into the tat and piercing thing. both are instant turnoffs for me.

5. Someone who will be faithfull, dedicated, and loyal no matter what. Someone who will never cheat. I've seen it happen to people and how bad it hurts. I would never cheat, and would not want to be cheated on. If she wants to go out with her friends for a night out or something like that, I want to be comfortable letting her, and knowing without a doubt that she is not flirting with other guys or worse.

6. Someone who understands me. for who I am. Someone I can sit down and talk to, cry, and pour my heart out on who will truely understand me and my issues. (and i can do the same for her.) Someone who can feel comfortable coming to talk to me about any thing, any time.
7. As weird is this may sound, I hope whoever I meet is a virgin, as I am one myself. While it won't necesarily be a deal breaker if she is not, I have kept my virginity for my whole 31 years of life, (with pride at that), it sure would be nice if my first time was with someone who it's also their first time.

Am I really being too picky here? I'd love to hear what you think.

You are being too picky. This isn't an ideal world

[NLCtech]

Thanks for the replies.

Enigmos -

Yes, I feel I do have a lot to offer in return. I myself am a very loyal person. I know what it's like to not feel loved and supported. Love and support is very important to me, and I would do anything and everything to provide that.

Also, I'm not the kind of guy who stays out all night partying, (partying and drinking was never my thing), I'm not the type to argue over every little thing, and I'm not the kind who would treat my partner like crap, especially in front of other people. I see so many guys yelling at their wifes or GF's, arguing over stupid stuff, calling them names, and just making them feel like garbage, and it really ticks me off, because here is me who would give anything to have a companion and I would never dream of treating her that way, yet these A-holes are out there griping at their partner all the time and making them fell unappriceated.


Lipp - very sad, but true. I never did want to just go out and "get laid." I'd much rather be in a relationship where we generally love each other and it actually MEANS something when it happens.

vashti -
Yeah no experiance is definatly a big downfall for me. By now most people know what it takes and know the right things to do and say during certain times or situations, and I worry about that. I can see myself doing/not doing or saying/not saying something when a situation comes up, and making my partner feel bad, completely by accident.

ecojeanne-
I do realize there is no such thing as a perfect relationship, and everyone has their flaws. And yes, I am scared. When I do meet the one and decide she is the girl I want to marry, I want it to truley work out and last until death.

I just don't understand why, being the type of person I am, that I just can't find anyone, who is my type, who is interested in me. I just I'm just a lost cause :-(

[girl68]

You must be too picky.

Because there are lots of nice, tame girls out there- but I'm sure you've overlooked them for various reasons.

You need to give girls a chance, obviously whatever you've done/ not done in the past isn't working therefore something needs to change.

Give a girl a call that you would never think to talk to. Who knows, you could hit it off. If you don't consider is experience.

[Sanctuary]

I'm a guy and don't take this the wrong way but you sound kinda boring. You seem needy, clingy, and unable to take charge in a relationship.

You say that what you have to offer in return is love, support, and loyalty? Lol you'll have to do a lot better than that buddy. If that really is all you have to offer, then the only way you'll find a woman who fits your criteria is if she's been dumped multiple times and has low self esteem (or she's fat). That or you could lower your standards.

Sorry, the truth is ugly but that's the way I see it. I might be wrong though - if that's the case, then ladies feel free to correct me.