Pretty tough situation. What would you do?

[sadLoner]

Hi everyone, this is my first post, and it is probably going to be a long one. I'll try to keep it as short as possible.

So here is my story. I met my gf in high school. The summer before meeting her, I remember kneeling down and giving the most heartfelt prayer in my life. You see, up to that point I had been so miserable and alone and had absolutely nobody outside my family. Well, I prayed, and once the school year started, I met her. It was pretty awesome and we went out for about a year and a half.

Well, things started to get a little rough, and me being stupid and young, listened to my friends and called it quits, even though she was really heartbroken. However, it took maybe 5-7 days to realize that I made a mistake and I immediately tried to make things right. Well, a lot of crap happened that night... some friends told me where she was and I went there to try to make things better. Turns out some scumbag guy was with her, and a lot of stuff happened and I almost got into a fight with the guy. We worked it out and got back together in a few days.

Fast forward about 9 months, and I find out I have chlamydia. She admits that she had slept with that same scumbag guy from that night. We were both virgins before meeting, and I was heartbroken that she had slept with someone else and ruined that special thing that we had. She told me everything but nothing seems to fit. She says that she slept with him when we were not together, but why did it take me 9 months to get the symptoms of the std? I saw that she had called him on her phone about a month before finding out that I had an std, so it makes more sense that she was sleeping with him then, but she swears that this is not the case. She says she was just calling him because she felt like something was wrong and wanted to see if he had any STDs. Being too weak to use my common sense, I choose to believe her even if it doesn't add up.

It has been a few months since all this happened, and our 3 year anniversary is next month. Things are going great now, and I don't think that I could ever find someone who is more perfect for me. It seems like we were made for each other. But not a day goes by that I don't think of what she did. Every day something triggers my memories and I just see him on top of her and it hurts me more than anything I have ever experienced. I feel like I am on the brink of insanity because these thoughts are in my head and they drive me crazy, but every time I try to break up with her I end up calling her back in an hour because I miss her and don't want to be without her. I just don't know what to do. Can anybody help me?

[NeoSeminole]

go kill yourself

[sadLoner]

wtf? I joined thinking this was a forum for relationship advice. What is your problem?

[NeoSeminole]

you're weak. Everything about your post screams desperation and insecurity. People like you should be removed from the population.

[Cbrider]

Neo was a little blunt, but basically said what needed to be said.

You're drowning in your own sorrow over this and it was YOU who broke up with her. Sorry man, can't get butt hurt over what she did after you broke it off with her.

[Enigmos]

Loner, sounds like you've been battling doubt in your head for a while. sometimes, it takes us a while to realize that we're not that forgiving. there's nothing wrong with this, but you must accept it about yourself. fact is: you're beating yourself up because you don't trust her.

ps - STDs can appear after 90 days. i'd wager that she might have had sex with someone else while you guys were back on.

[sadLoner]

Loner, sounds like you've been battling doubt in your head for a while. sometimes, it takes us a while to realize that we're not that forgiving. there's nothing wrong with this, but you must accept it about yourself. fact is: you're beating yourself up because you don't trust her.

ps - STDs can appear after 90 days. i'd wager that she might have had sex with someone else while you guys were back on.

Sorry, your last two sentences seem to contradict. Did you mean CAN'T appear after 90 days?

thanks

[Mish]

Neo, please don't attack the newbies

Loner I think you need to find out what your main issue is. Is it a trust issue, do you think she cheated on you, are you uncomfortable that she slept with someone else (regardless of whether the two of you were together or not), or are you uncomfortable because you got an std? Because you know the fact you got an std 9 months after you got back together with her doesn't automatically mean that she cheated on you. It might mean it have taken you this long to catch it.

[sadLoner]

Neo, please don't attack the newbies

Loner I think you need to find out what your main issue is. Is it a trust issue, do you think she cheated on you, are you uncomfortable that she slept with someone else (regardless of whether the two of you were together or not), or are you uncomfortable because you got an std? Because you know the fact you got an std 9 months after you got back together with her doesn't automatically mean that she cheated on you. It might mean it have taken you this long to catch it.

I guess the thing that hurts me the most is that she has slept with another person, especially so soon after our relationship ended. Idk why, it just hurts me so much.

[girl68]

You either believe her of you don't. Yes, sypmtoms can appear after that long.

If you believe her, believer her, move on forgive and forget.

If you don't believe her, dump her and move on.

Do you think it's fair on her if she slept with some dude while she was SINGLE and now you hold this above her head? When someone gets dumped, many people go out and rebound- that's just the way it works. Leave it alone. When you get back with someone whom you know had a rebound- YOU ACCEPT THAT. If you don't, or you can't leave the whore alone.

[CocoChanel]

ROFL @ Neo and Girl68

Hey they are right though. You are just toying with her motions... breaking up to making up. What's wrong with you? Get over it! The girl did it when you guys were single!