feeling down..venting.

[davidpaddok]

me and my ex-gf had been goin out for 2.5 years. I'm 23 now, and she is 22. I met her at college, and we pretty much went out through college. She was my first girlfriend, but I was her however many bf. I think she has never NOT had a boyfriend. (foreshadowing)

Anyways we've had our difficulties and I eventually decided to break things off because I thought there has got to be something better for me than that. And I figured that the next step was us moving into together etc after she got out of college, and that scared me. I figured better break it off now than find out 5 years from now it never would get any better. I guess I thought that if we were meant to be together we would somehow end up together.

So anyways we broke up about a month and half ago. We Were still friends on facebook, and I find out that in less than a month she has already dated several guys (she is attractive, and I can see her being hit on a lot), and now she is dating a guy...

I talked to her last week for the firsttime last week and she seemed totally fine, recovered, and admitted to already being intimate with other people(multiple). A MONTH?!..... This is the girl that would hang on my everyword, spoke of marriage often and in love with me. That is all it took, and suddenly I am just another guy?

Anyways I just still can't believe how she could do it.. It hurts so much.But I should have known, she has always rebounded after a serious relationship.

On the otherhand I have spiraled downward. I live alone in the middle of nowhere in the midwest. I only see friends on the weekend when I travel. I haven't met any girls and I am real lonely.

I defriended her on facebook so I woudln't have to see her with her new boyfriend.. But I'm wondering if I should delete all the pictures I have of us tagged, and albums of trips we took?

She has left them all tagged which leads me to believe that somewhere she still is holding on to something, and these guys are just temp relief.

It just sucks, I knew she would start dating again and I was okay with that. But that short of time and suddenly she is having sex with multiple other people....

Part of me thinks I made a mistake breaking up with her... but now I feel there is no way I could go back to her after what she has done.

Anyways this is a classic she moved on before I did stories.. but it's just upsetting none the less. And ironic because she seemed to always the more "in love" person in the relationship, if that makes sense.

I really thought I had something special with her, and that couldn't be interchangeable, but I guess I'm wrong.

I've sorta lost hope in women altogether. I guess I don't know how to handle the situation since I've never broken up with a girl before. I didn't think it would be this hard.

Comments appreciated.

regards,

Dave

[chump4u]

You bought the notion that it's some sort of evil puritanism to think that your girlfriend's past might predict her future actions. If you hadn't believed that line of crap, you wouldn't have been so surprised when your ex turned into the campus slut overnight.

And you say you hope that she might still have some love for you and that "these guys are just temp relief" for her. Perhaps you need to consider that you were the "temp relief" in her life...purely temporary.

"I've sorta lost hope in women altogether." See, even with all the heartache and humiliation, you got a valuable lesson out of all this. You will not be quite so easy to fool next time.

Well, maybe you won't.

[secr3t]

it sort of sounds like me and my situation haha.. but maybe shes just using these guys as a rebound to move on from you? since you were the one that broke it off..

guess if things are meant to be, it'll be back..

[Gigabitch]

You broke up with her. That means that whoever she dates or has sex with is no longer any of your business. This is why it's impossible to be friends with your ex (this goes for everybody); someone always gets hurt.

If you want to delete all record of her ever having been in your life, go ahead. Clearly, No Contact is the solution to your troubles.

Going forward, don't expect your girlfriends to keep acting like they're in love with you after you dump them.

[Bumble_bee]

What did you expect? her to hang on while you go check out if there is something better for you than that? (what's ''that'' her?/life?)


quit the self pitying will you, you made your decision, and cannot stand that she is getting on with things....which is what you should be doing....If NC helps you to get over yourself, then go ahead, but quit hating on her....

[davidpaddok]

Thanks for the replies. I had a feeling people might say, quit bitching and move on. I guess that's really what I gotta do. I think it will be easier once I'm around people and I'm not alone all the time.

I forget screen names, but I wanted to respond to a few comments.

-I don't think 3 years is temp relief. It was her longest most serious relationship by far.

-Second I know it's none of my business what she does sexually now, but I guess going foreword in the future, is this what I should expect from every-girl? I know she was going to move on and see other people.. I guess my problem was the timing.. like dating the second we break up, to moving on to a full blown relationship within a month..

So that's what happens? If I ever got married to a girl, I would hope that god forbid something happened to me, yes I'd want her to be happy, but no I don't want her turning into the neighborhood whore to get over it 2 days later.


Is that really too much to expect?

Again thank you for the comments.

[Bumble_bee]

-Second I know it's none of my business what she does sexually now, but I guess going foreword in the future, is this what I should expect from every-girl? I know she was going to move on and see other people.. I guess my problem was the timing.. like dating the second we break up, to moving on to a full blown relationship within a month..

So that's what happens? If I ever got married to a girl, I would hope that god forbid something happened to me, yes I'd want her to be happy, but no I don't want her turning into the neighborhood whore to get over it 2 days later.


Is that really too much to expect?

Again thank you for the comments.

It always depends on the girl, you can't paint us all with the same brush. She may be the type of person who just cannot bare to be alone.

And I think comparing this to your wife moving on after your death is a bit off balance....

[StormyGirl]

Hey you - sorry you are feeling down.

Some people get over other people by throwing themselves into other relationships. She has already shown she is not considerate of your feelings - she may well have not taken down the pictures out of laziness. Somehow i don't get the feeling she is pouring over them wistfully.

If you haven't already, send her a note apologizing for your part of the breakup and the failure of the relationship (this is for your healing not hers) and delete everything that reminds you of her.

Get new friends - not ness lovers. keep busy, even if it means working out so much you fall asleep exhausted. Find something, anything that gets your mind off her. Books, a new hobby, new people - anything.

And no, I don't think you are silly or stupid to think that the person who claimed to love you and want to marry you might wait a bit to jump in the sack with other guys. What surprises me is that you have so much gentlemanlyness (is that a word? lol) that you would expect her to have the same. Good for you - don't change a thing

Someday a girl will come along who will appreciate you for exactly who you are - share you ideals and loves - and you will again be happy. Keep the faith.

Hugs! (happy friday!)

[davidpaddok]

Again thank you everyone for the support. And I apologize to the women if I came off polarizing. I don't really believe every girl would do that, I guess I'm just upset.

Dave