Need some suggestions

[ShaneSauce]

I'm pretty sexually active with my girl when we see each other and its always fun.

We have done everything you can do besides anal and that will never happen.

First problem is sex, its not a problem at all on my side but more for her.
I'm a average 5-6 inches but I'm pretty thick you could say.
We were each others first and she is still having intense pain when I first go in.
She complains about it to the point where its a turn off.
The only position she can handle is on top of me sort of laying on my chest because it doesn't go in really deep.
It doesn't usually work out and we end up giving up, part of this could be that we involve way too much foreplay and don't have sex until the very end.
I'm thinking I need to get her in the mood for the first 30 minutes and then try, but how should I "stretch her out" so to say?


Now the next problem isn't really a problem its just something I need to spend more time on.
I have fingered her and went down on her multiple times, she has never orgasm'd from me doing any of that but she says it always feels really good and she is always breathing really heavily the last time she said that she came extremely close to orgasm but I stopped.
This is a direct quote from her "well I could barely stop making noises it felt so good, and well by the time I would have told you not to stop you would have changed spots anyways, but its ok."

I'm determined to get her to orgasm I will just have to spend a bit more time pleasuring her.

Any tips or suggestions?

[Holly3278]

It sounds to me like she needs to see a gynecologist. She could be suffering from vaginismus. You can find out more about that by Googling it or by Googling dyspareunia which means "pain during intercourse".

[girl68]

First of all- is she super wet? Not kinda, sorta wet, I'm talking: like dripping on the bed sheet, soaking wet, wet.

How do you get her to cum? Only she knows, communicate.

[ShaneSauce]

She is always super wet all the time, its a huge turn on for me because all I have to do half the time is give her a massage and she is soaking.

She went to the vagina doctor and she said everything is fine and she is now on birth control.

That brings up another question for me, how long does it take for the birth control to fully take effect? To the point where I don't have to use a condom.

[girl68]

I really hope her Dr told her!

It takes one full cycle. So an entire month before you can stop with the condom.

If everything is fine she should *relax* if she's expecting pain- pain is exactly what she'll get. Do you finger her? 1 finger, 2, then 3.

[ShaneSauce]

I really do think it is a mental thing for her, she used to say she got barely any pleasure from me doing stuff to her but now that we are more comfortable together and she relaxes a bit more and just lets me take over she said its a lot better.

I can always get 1 finger, I move up to 2 fingers after a couple minutes but I haven't tried 3 yet.

Maybe next time I can work my way up until I can get 2 fingers with no pain from her then have sex is what I'm thinking.

Another thing is I always get her going with stimulating the clit but I have never actually tried getting her off from her g-spot.
Tips or suggestions?
I have felt a vagina many times but never found the g-spot, some say its a little bump on the "roof" of the vagina a couple inches in but I can never find it..

[girl68]

I think you're focusing way to much on the result and not the process. Let's face it sex just feels damn good (for most of us) sex is often still good even if you (the guy) doesn't bust a nut and the girl doesn't quiver. Perhaps you are focusing only on the orgasm which as you will learn later in life does not make the best of sex.

Have you ever tried mutual masterbation- or you just sitting and watching her do it herself? Join in when you think you've got a good idea of what she likes to do herself.

As as far as I know- there is no "roof" in my vagina. Think of it like this, you are standing face to face you stick out your hand palm up fingers pointed towards her belly. Point your hand down, insert, curl your fingers towards yourself, should be somewhere right about there... you should for the most part be able to figure it out by how SHE reacts.

[Feonixbrimstone]

I really do think it is a mental thing for her, she used to say she got barely any pleasure from me doing stuff to her but now that we are more comfortable together and she relaxes a bit more and just lets me take over she said its a lot better.

I can always get 1 finger, I move up to 2 fingers after a couple minutes but I haven't tried 3 yet.

Maybe next time I can work my way up until I can get 2 fingers with no pain from her then have sex is what I'm thinking.

Another thing is I always get her going with stimulating the clit but I have never actually tried getting her off from her g-spot.
Tips or suggestions?
I have felt a vagina many times but never found the g-spot, some say its a little bump on the "roof" of the vagina a couple inches in but I can never find it..

its not so much an actually spot the g spot is actually just an extension of the Clit.

the Clitoris is the organ that is the main stimulus for orgasm. the muscle for the Clit actually doesn't stop right where it goes into its hood. It's also on the sides of the vagina.

its hard to explain fully but i'll give you a mental image. Picture a upside down heart with the vaginal opening right at the valley of the heart and the urethra at the middle of the heart but they aren't connected to the "heart" and finally picture the clitoris at the point of the "heart" but it isn't part of the heart either it follows the contours of the heart down to the sides of the heart curves. You now have a rough image of how the muscle of the clitoris is about the vagina.

if your are still curious use this as a starting point [url]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clitoris[/url]

[ShaneSauce]

Ah its not all about the process for me though.

I know its not what sex is all about but it would make me feel a good bit better about myself.
I love the intimacy that we have during it all and just the feeling of "making love" with someone you truly care about is enough to make me feel really good about sex in general.

Thanks for all the help, I'm still open to suggestions and this next time around I'm not just gonna get her close to orgasm, I'm gonna take her past orgasm.

[Cyborg]

Shanesauce,

You got some great, dare I say perfect advice on G spot stimulation and shifting focus from orgasm to enjoyment. Run with this..... consider one additional thing. Why not make keeping her for an extended time at the BRINK of orgasm as your goal rather than the orgasm itself? If you do this you will be able to extend her pleasure and the orgasms will (Pun intended) cum of their own accord.

I think if you heed all of this sage advice you will become a legendary lover. Let us know how it works out for you two.

[PJrainne]

I have the same problem, My guy is almost too much for me to handle. For me, the most comfortable position is the missionary position. I put a pillow under my pelvis, I find the elevation helps and also helps cushion as I like rough sex. There is pain every single time my man tries to enter me, Make sure she is real wet and it helps if you are lubercated as well. my man has to enter real slowly, an half of an inch to an inch at a time and let me get used to him/streched out enough for him to move. Also she needs to relax, it will make things easier and the pain will go away sooner.

[ShaneSauce]

Once i get a orgasm once from her I will be more likely to try and keep her on the brink and maybe even shoot for multiples if possible.

I love just letting her sit back and relax while I make her feel good, her moans turn me on more than anything.

I'm thinking about trying to stimulate the g-spot while I lick on/around her clit I think that would work pretty well.