I Do Not Like Infatuation

[Raze]

I do not like infatuation. It really sucks. I get the taste of euphoria, but lots of down moments. I think this is the only time I've felt a bad roller-coaster effect.

I've dated multiple girls at once in the past, but I can't even bring myself to do that anymore. I was on match.com and I was reading my emails and I can't even bring myself to respond/follow-up on any of them. I think it's because I don't even want to.

I know it's early. The girl I am dating is still on match.com and has been active. I don't know how I would react if I found out she was meeting other guys especially if one day I found out, "Sorry, I met someone else or sorry I can't date you anymore, I have a boyfriend now."

It's bad because I am recovering from depression that I have had in the past due to my ex-relationships where the girl made me feel worthless, just like a loser because I literally cared too much and they were cheating behind my back with other guys. Isn't that messed up?

Infatuation has caused so many problems in my life, I just want it to stop.

I made this post because she said she wanted to meet on the weekend and hasn't responded as to when in like 3 days and I don't know what's going on. My instincts are sensing something isn't right, and they have been right most of the time. My wolfy senses are tingling.....

[Gigabitch]

Oh, for ****'s sake. There's nothing wolfy about that sense of yours. It's chickeny.

Raze, I want you to go out and meet girls in real life. You are WAY too young to be relying solely on match.com and I think all this time living in your own head makes you sketchy. The computer is for posting here about the girls you meet, not for meeting them (in your case, anyway). Get out there and meet them.

Do you have a job? You work in a cubicle, if I remember correctly and there aren't any girls around, right?

[Raze]

During the summers, I intern there. The rest of the time I'm at school. I can't hit on girls at work because that would be sexual harassment and I'm the youngest one there. I heard about a sexual harassment seminar they had there and I got kind of freaked out when my dad told me about it. Feminism is really bad in the Federal Government and please don't hate me for saying this if you are a girl, I'm just recanting my experiences. There are security guards everywhere too. I think the building I work in as over 100 security guards. Briefcases, cars, and work IDs are checked before even entering the building. The workers are scanned for any metallic objects before entering the building. Everything is reported.

For all those who need a basic definition of sexual harassment

"Unwanted sexual advances." "Sexual descriminiation in the workplace." As to what falls under these categories is infinite really because it's ambiguous as most laws are.

At my school, there are too many feminists and I can't hit on them without them complaining about sexual harassment. I got accused for sexual harassment twice because I told two different girls that I think they are cute and would like to date them. The dean is also a feminist and she threatened to get the police involved if I ever did that again. So, I can't tell girls they are cute and say I would like to date them and I'm scared to do so since I will be graduating soon and want my degree. So I've been very careful about what I do around females. Most of them have boyfriends which makes it really hard to dodge the sexual harassment charges even though it's completely accidental. You have to understand that girls at my school have this "gotcha" mentality. They complain about everything....

That's why I don't go for girls in either of those places anymore.

I'm not trying to sound like a chicken, I'm just saying that I don't like infatuation. And everytime I thought something was wrong, something was wrong.

You have to realize too that I post on here to vent. This is my way of getting this stuff out of my system so I don't end up repressing anything. The stuff I say on here I would never say to anyone unless they were my parents or my therapist. I find it's better to vent on here then it is to do something really dumb and regretful in reality.

I don't understand what you mean by meet them? Because I have dated the ones I talk to online in person. So, I don't really know what you mean by "meet them".

Also, how am I always "in my head"? I don't understand that remark either. I go out and socialize most of the time. I'm only on here when I'm doing work. I multitask all the time so I'm able to do up to 10 different things at once. It's how I get work done.

[Gigabitch]

Holy crap! Where do you live, Ann Arbor?

[Raze]

I live in Glen Rock, Pennsylvania. Small town where the average demographic age is 60. I go to school in Westminster, Maryland. I work in Baltimore, Maryland. While at school, I live in Westminster, Maryland.

And if I wasn't able to socialize and living in my head most of the time, I wouldn't have my job because I work in Human Resources, which is kind of why I multitask so much. =P

I've just had a lot of bad luck when it comes to women and have been a victim of gender descrimination.

So, that's why I email people online who express interest with me on match.com, I get to know them, then I date them in real life. I've been doing this off and on for about 3 or 4 years.

[Gigabitch]

Oh, my God. I want you out of there and on a beach filled with scantily-clad bimbos. It would do you a world of good.

[Raze]

LOL! haha, yeah I need a vacation.

[autumn11]

jeez... I agree, go on a trip to Europe or something and meet some beautiful and liberated women.

[Junket]

I love infatuation.

[Raze]

I love infatuation.

I hate it. I'm not sure why I keep doing this to myself. Right now, I wish I lived in a bubble instead of on a rollercoaster.

[Gigabitch]

Instead, you live in your own underwear. Poor Raze.

[Raze]

In the end, I'll always have myself. =) No one loves me more than I love me.