My boyfriend loves games but it's driving me nuts!

[Tessa]

Hey,

This probably isn't what you think it is lol. I don't mind that my boyfriend plays games and everything - i understand that theyre his escape, same way as I love reading to escape from everyday life. But sometimes I wonder if it isn't just a little too much... he gets payed and blows 3/4 of it on games in a day, when he promised to save some. I rarely get anything for myself, and we just dont have the money to spend that much on games, so I get really stressed that we don't have the money to do other things, like buy gifts for family members birthdays, or to save for bond or anything. We're always broke and can't save, and I think its a little bit of an obsession cause sometimes he will stay out all night in a net cafe playing games... his uni work is suffering from it too. I can't think of how to broach the subject without getting his back up, and literally this is like the only thing that is wrong with the guy lol. Suggestions? I just dont want him to believe games are really important over other, more important things...

[parsovski]

My answer would depend on the question - "How old is he ?". Because I used to play computer games A LOT, it was about 3-4 years ago, but i think a serious guy would stop doing that (or bring it to the minimum) when he is about 20-21 year old. In my opinion, playing games the whole day, when you are old enough to study or work is just losing time, and I will say it again, I do not consider guys doing that serious. So it's up to you to decide do you want to be with this guy, do you find your future pleasing and safe.

[Bumble_bee]

I think if he is going to uni, and is living out with his girlfirend, its time to grow up. Especially if his leisure activities are having an effect on his studies.

How to broach the subject...if you guys are trying to save for a deposit on a place together, then you could sit down with him and talk about budgeting for your deposit.

Once you guys have agreed how much you are both going to save equally each month, you just got to let him do what he wants with the rest of his money.

If all financial responsibilty is falling on you, then quite frankly tell him to grow the heck up.

[chump4u]

If your boyfriend spent all his money (and yours) on liquor, and stayed out drinking all night, until his finances, studies, and personal life suffered because of his behavior, you wouldn't have any problem thinking "alcoholism" would you?

Why do you say that your boyfriend's game playing is just "a little bit of an obsession," then?

His problem with games is not an "obsession," it's an addiction.

You need to find a counselor who is used to dealing with addictive behavior.
Tell him the story you wrote here, and see if he can't give you a few pointers on where to go next.

[elfen31]

I do understand what you're both going through. I also play online games myself and it can be quite addicting, but as to it taking the place of my boyfriend or opting to play games instead of working is absolutely ludicrous. Also, spending all this money on games is EXTREMELY ridiculous. You NEED to have that talk with him that you're dreading because it's affecting your financial resources and your relationship on a whole.

[Wallace Stevens]

Chump4u is credited. This sounds like a serious problem.

[KaraScott]

Why don't you talk to him about it? If you think you can't both handle that prob, well you can look for interventions like a counselor maybe.

[tim2963]

Gaming is an addiction, not as bad as drinking or drugs, but nonetheless it's an addiciton. You have to make him stop or cut down on it.

[Raze]

Well, I think you just need to work harder to please him. Try some sex and ask him what his fantasies are. Ever think he's bored with you? Be a little more sexual. Problem solved.

[LonelyEngineer]

do u want something simple that works PERFECTLY....

tell him NO SEX till he make up his mind of what is more important for him, games or REAL LIFE

it WILL work