Hello,
I'm Nyx and I have a problem. For three years now I've had a relationship with a girl who truly loves me but isn't making me happy. This is made worse by the fact that we live together out of monetary necessity. For almost as long, I have had a best friend (girl) who thought she was in love with me, but turned out to be a lesbian. I have known about her sexual orientation for about a year. For as long as I have known her I have always been attracted to her, but recently (half a year) I have utterly and completely fallen in love with her. I have never hidden this from her and it never changed our friendship. She also loves me, but more in a completely intimate best friend kind of way. Recently however, she started thinking about experimenting with straight sex. As I am the man who is closest to her we talked about trying it out. As I really love her I asked to take it slow (the faster we go, the faster it could end) and we've done nothing more than kissing and some minor caressing and hugging. Now my problem is: I'm sometimes afraid that she's doing all this out of guilt. We've talked about it and she says it's not the case. According to her it is pleasant, but also odd because I'm a guy. I would want nothing more than to keep sailing this course but at the same time I'm worried that this strange relationship might end up in either a lifetime of unhappiness for her if it keeps going, or a terrible broken hart for me if it doesn't. Meanwhile, my current girlfriend has no life besides me and I would feel terribly guilty if I break up with her to be with my best friend and it turns out this doesn't last long.
Should I end it before everyone gets hurt, or should I try to escape this depressing relationship by embracing my new found happiness with my best friend and just risk it?