Why can't I come??

[*Bright_Eyes*]

Been with my bf for 9 months and I love him to bits. He is amazing in every way and I seriously think he is the one.
Before I met him, no man had ever made me come and although he's managed to make me come a few times, that was more at the beginning of our relationship and now it just never happens.
I feel really bad because he tries really hard and has said to me that he feels really bad but I don't blame him. He does all the right things and turns me on so much but when the moment comes the feeling just disappears. I don't know if it's the pressure of knowing he's trying so hard for it to happen for me or what. Any advice??

[vashti]

You need to forget he is there. Seriously, you are thinking too much.

[PsychoPink]

Can you get yourself off?

Sounds to me like you two need to work together and find out what "works" for you. You might need more clitoral stimulation or something?

[Yggdrasil]

Focus less on getting an orgasm. You're trying to hard. Relax, enjoy, let yourself go.

Trying desperately to achieve an orgasm will put a lot of stress on you. This stress will actually prevent you from achieving one.

[tasha1133]

I have to agree with psychopink, you have to find out what works for you and then, be open about it and work on what "work's for you" also, thinking less about coming and just letting go and enjoying the moment helps too. If your mind is too full of random thoughts and worries, no wonder you cant come. just relax and give in. =)

hope all gets better for the both of you!

[girl68]

My immediate thought: you are BOTH trying too hard.

Yes I know, you both really want you to come, but I assure you that very feeling is the only one killing the mood. Get more foreplay going on. Be more inhibitied! Have a drink, make it a "date" night. Do a little self stimulation. And don't make this about HIM making YOU come. Take a little responsibility for yourself. Who says it is SOLEly his job to get you off. Tell him what makes you get off; and if you don't know spend a little time with yourself and figure it out- then teach him.

[*Bright_Eyes*]

Thanks for all your replies. You have confirmed what I was thinking and after I posted yesterday I text him saying that we needed to stop trying so hard because it just means it doesn't happen.
I'm gonna get practising tonight in preparation for when I next see him

[carl1222]

Thanks for all your replies. You have confirmed what I was thinking and after I posted yesterday I text him saying that we needed to stop trying so hard because it just means it doesn't happen.
I'm gonna get practising tonight in preparation for when I next see him

It's the same pattern some guys get into after failing to get an immediate erection. The harder you try, the softer you get!

I'll give you the same advice i would give them:

1) See a doctor to make sure everything is OK physically, then
2) stop thinking about it and just enjoy the closeness ... let the orgasm take care of itself eventually.

Carl.

[*Bright_Eyes*]

I can make myself come with a vibrator really easily so I know I can. It's just a matter of it happening with him. Hopefully we'll get it sorted soon

[carl1222]

Lend him the vibrator!

[Yggdrasil]

Bright Eyes,

there is absolutely nothing wrong with using a vibrator while having foreplay and intercourse for extra stimulation.

[*Bright_Eyes*]

Yeah he did tell me to bring it along some time but I didn't want to quite yet as I didn't want him to feel inadequate as his attitude was if I can't beat it then join it.

[Yggdrasil]

Well that's a bit a silly attitude on his side. I guess he's still a bit unexperienced. The shit you can do with a vibrator

I guess you'll have to sex ed him a little haha...

Just take the darn thing with you next time you guys are planning on having sex and hand it to him. Let him figure out how to work the thing on you (that should boost his 'manhood' a little) haha LOL

[*Bright_Eyes*]

I am more experienced than him even though he's older but I love this about him. He can be quite shy aswell but again I find this really cute. Maybe I should take along one of my smaller vibrators and leave the bigger ones until he's used to the idea. Don't wanna frighten him away

[Yggdrasil]

Maybe I should take along one of my smaller vibrators and leave the bigger ones until he's used to the idea. Don't wanna frighten him away

LOL..... don't you have a bullet? That way it's fun for both when you place the bullet on your clitoris while having penetration.

Save a horse, ride a cowboy

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HPbbHvL8wco"]YouTube - Drew Lachey & Pros - Save a Horse Ride a Cowboy[/ame]