Is there truth to He's Just Not That Into You?

[freem]

After reading the book, I'm curious how true certain things are from a male standpoint. For example, if a guy is really "into" you, he will find every effort and means to see or talk to you again (no three day rule bullshit). If any of you have read this book, or seen the movie (or heard about it), what are your thoughts? Is there any truth to all this?

[Gribble]

If a guy is really into you and he's heard that three day bullshit he might be so into you that he doesn't want to take any chances screwing it up, so he waits the three days in the hope that you won't think he's pathetically eager.

[ellie]

Yeah, I agree with the above. Isnt it that guys are just as afraid of rejection as women? So they don't call and text you all the time because they are afraid of looking desperate or too eager...?

Well I'm not a guy, but I've noticed the whole idea of "if he's interested he'll find a way to contact you" is definitely true, like if he is into you he will always contact you sooner or later, but what says in the book is a bit exaggerated.
I havent found any guy who was that into me yet that he called me as often as it says in the book. Sometimes guys are also waiting for you to make a move, eh?

That's just my thoughts.... Im not a guy

[davidtorres]

true. a guy will do everything and anything if hes into you.

[Sixpacj]

I disagree. A guy who is into you will do SOMETHING, and then based on your reaction to that he may or may not do more things.

There is no universal "GUY". There are cool guys who have multiple sexual relationships and a few other women in the "pipeline", and there are hopeless losers, 40-year-old virgins.

A hopeless loser might just as well "do anything to contact you" if he reckons you're his olny shot at sex/romance/hapiness, you name it.

A cool guy will show his interest once or twice, if you don't reciprocate he will move on to the next girl. You have to understand that in a cool guy's world, your value as a woman, i.e. what you bring to the table, is drastically different than for a loser.

A man who already has women in his life will not be overly eager. Sure, you might turn out to be the woman of his life, but for that to happen you'd need to interact with him enuff to convince him. And you won't do that by sitting by the phone and waiting...

What I am saying is you need to calibrate to the speciphic guy, his social status, level of "coolness", for lack of a better word, etc... I do not think there is a universal recipe...

I think, also, there is a widespread misunderstanding among females as to what it takes for a guy to "be into you"... They misconstrue it to mean that the woman has to be elusive, answer one call in three, or some other BS "Rule", always be coming or going, etc., as per the book "The Rules"... In real life, if you do that stuff, you will continually be laughed at...

[vashti]

In my experience, if a guy has liked me, he has always contacted me, and it was my responsibility to be either encouraging of discouraging.

Alternately, if a girl has been encouraging but no contact follows, it should be assumed there either there was no interest, or the guy is too shy/lazy to be bothered with.

[Charlie Boy II]

yes it's true. I can't believe the way girls bullshit each other.

For example, my girl housemate is getting played by this guy. You wouldn't believe her and her girlfriends rationalise his behaviour: he's a commitment phobe, he's got a lot going on in his life right now, he's scared of showing his feelings etc, etc, etc. It's all utter bullshit. Men just aren't that complicated.

[vashti]

does she ask you about it, charlieboy? Have you told her the truth?

[Charlie Boy II]

yeah I have, but she doesn't want to hear it. And I don't press it. She wants to keep seeing him so she will. It's her life.

[Mish]

After reading the book, I'm curious how true certain things are from a male standpoint. For example, if a guy is really "into" you, he will find every effort and means to see or talk to you again (no three day rule bullshit). If any of you have read this book, or seen the movie (or heard about it), what are your thoughts? Is there any truth to all this?

The effort needs to be mutual. The girl needs to know how to encourage the guy to continue pursuing her. If the guy calls and the girl plays a cold fish, no matter how interested he is, he will most likely drop her.

I'm frequently amazed by amount of women who have no idea how to encourage interest or who can't make up their mind on what to do or who just don't know what they are doing all together.

[Lipp]

If you're too eager it just comes off as awkward and annoying, so I think that many guys (probably including myself) would limit contact a fair bit at least even if interested. But not completely, that's for sure.

[carl1222]

The effort needs to be mutual. The girl needs to know how to encourage the guy to continue pursuing her. If the guy calls and the girl plays a cold fish, no matter how interested he is, he will most likely drop her.

I'm frequently amazed by amount of women who have no idea how to encourage interest or who can't make up their mind on what to do or who just don't know what they are doing all together.

The same goes for men, Mishanya.

I've come up with one simple rule ... be myself. If that doesn't get the girl, then she's the wrong girl for me and I'm the wrong guy for her.

Carl.

[dcalrokundess]

I've come up with one simple rule ... be myself. If that doesn't get the girl, then she's the wrong girl for me and I'm the wrong guy for her.

Amen, brother!

[ellie]

The same goes for men, Mishanya.

I've come up with one simple rule ... be myself. If that doesn't get the girl, then she's the wrong girl for me and I'm the wrong guy for her.

Carl.

Best statement so far. Couldn't have said it better myself.

[boobaa]

But what if there isn't a right girl for you? Then you'd have to fake it?