Freshman orientation. Bunch of naive 18 year olds wanderin' town, tryin' to prove they's all growed up by boozing it up and playing with the big boys.
Heheheh. Jesus ****ing Christ, I don't even know what all I did last night. 3pm I started on a six pack of Landshark and some delivery sushi, watched Hard Rock Zombies and Death Proof--both of which ****ing rock. Found myself at a party by 8. I don't smoke, I get my high second hand, and there was plenty of smoke wafting in the air from all the bud. Shots went 'round and 'round. It's funny, the more shots I have, the hornier I get. The more shots the young bloods have, the nakeder they get. Girls dancing on the table. Girls making out with girls in the corner. Works out pretty ****ing well.
All I could think of was this scene in Death Proof:
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eqsswEJghTE"]YouTube - The Coasters - Down in Mexico (Lap Dance From Death Proof)[/ame]
Unfortunately we didn't have the right music, but when I pulled out my chair, flipped on some of that awful music you all like, it didn't take much convincing to get a girl to reenact the scene to the best of her inebriated ability. In fact, I had just the opposite problem. One drunken teeny bopper after the next. I know, I know. Pics or it didn't happen.
****ing awesome night.
Went to a different party after that and bumped and grinded (or is it ground?) some other ditzy chick. Didn't get laid, granted, but that's okay. I just wanted my lap dance.
Wound up crashing at my bud's place around 4:30 or so, but I couldn't sleep. I was thirsty so I took a look through his fridge. Nothing but a half-empty bowl of sangria. So about 6:30 I finished that off for him. From 3pm to 6:30am I drank and partied, then I threw on my suit, brushed back my hair, and strutted into work drunk and hungover all at once at 7 on the dot. ****ing A. When I write my memoir this weekend will be featured prominently.
Oh, and at some point I may have hit someone. That or I punched a brick wall. My right fist is mangled something fierce and I don't know why.