Awkward situation at work / When do I ask her out?

[Lupemperor]

Hi, I'm 21 years old and have never been in a relationship before, mainly due to myself being overweight for my whole life which obviously led to very low self-esteem. 12 months ago I lost 6 stone (84 lbs). I'm delighted with the way I now look and have a lot more self confidence.

I started a new part-time job 6 weeks ago at Sainsbury's (UK Supermarket) and have spotted a gorgeous girl that works on the 'checkouts', love at first sight and all that...

2 weeks ago, I spoke to her for the first time as I was doing a bit of shopping at the end of my shift, the conversation was based around our job and it lasted no longer than 2 minutes. Since then, I have been buying stuff for the sake of it, just so I can speak to her (She works on the checkouts/till register).

I have spoken to her on 5 different occasions over the past 2 weeks, each lasting about 1-2 minutes. On Saturday night the store was quite empty, so again, I purposely decided to buy an item just so I could speak to her as it's the only way because I work in the warehouse of the store - This time, the conversation lasted about 5 minutes and I'm getting the impression that she also likes me, I might be wrong, but that's just the impression I got.

I've had crushes on certain females throughout my school and college years, but none of them even come close to this girl. I just cannot stop thinking about her. She seems like she has a very similar personality to me - I'm a fairly quiet, kind person and very laid back... She's a perfect match. I just wish it wasn't so awkward trying to have a conversation with her - When my shift ends, hers starts. And as I stated above, she works on the checkouts, while I work in the back of the store. So the only time I'll get to see and chat is when I do some shopping, and even then, the conversation isn't private.

Now's for the advice guys and girls:

When is the best time to ask her for her number?

When is the best time to ask her if she's single?

When is the best time to ask her out for a date? (If she is single)

and how to a go about asking these questions? Do I just throw them at her in the middle of a random conversation?

Thanks in advance!

[Doc Durian]

You need to find some way to spend some time with her outside of work before you get into the rest of that.

Remember that you work at the same place, so it could turn ugly later on.

Best to find a common interest and just do it. What happens after that is up to the pair of you.

You converse with her regularly, so do a bit of exploring and propose something.

[KoHein]

Hi!

Firstly, in order for you to conquer all those question you got to boost your self-esteem! So you got the number and she is a single and she agreed to go out with you on a date. But without confidence and strong self-esteem, you would probably put her off on your first date! That your future with her burnt.

Women usually can sense better if you are confident or nervous. So I suggest you work on your confidence and self esteem first.

With self - confidence, it definitely be easier to approach her, in fact any person, with any questions.

It is good to lose weight and be fit. I encourage you to continue training and exercise. Love is skin deep. Yes! but impression and looks plays a big role too!

Would you rather to be with pretty lady or fat one (same person)?
Usually ... I can say, people in good shape (I'm not talking if you are ugly or not here) tends to be more successful in Dating due to first impression. Success in relationship is another thing of course.



To really answer your question about WHEN:
(1) Be normal friends. Talk more not about yourself or too much about her too. Simple talk about anything under the sun. Maybe even about recent news on TV.
(2) Go on to chatting more (about her life,etc) - by then you would have known if she is single or not. Arh!
(3) If she's single - ask her out for friends outing or events (where you are not alone with her)
(4) Ask her out on 1-on-1 date!

This is just a rough guide.

Just remember that relationship is nurtured through months. Don't be too rush in asking her out for a date! There is no right or wrong time to be exact but whether both of you are ready to talk more than just friendship. Do watch out her signs. You should know if she want to talk to you more or simply want to stop talking. Above all, you got to have good friendship first!


To Your Dating Success!



KoHein

[Lupemperor]

Thanks a lot guys, you've been very helpful.

I'll see her again on Monday as she told me she's gone on holiday/vacation for a week.

Do you think it's best to ask her for her number, and then arrange something over the phone? or should I just ask her out for a date right off the bat? (After I've asked if she's single or not)

It's sounds like I'm really rushing into things, but I'm desperate, I can't stop thinking about her. I last seen her on Saturday and it feels like 3 weeks have past by since. I don't see much happening if I keep having these regular 1-2 minute chats at work with her as I will only see her 2 or 3 times a week, and the store might be very busy and she might not have time to talk whatsoever. It will just drag on for weeks and weeks, so I figure I should just man up and get straight to the point.

The last few times I've spoken to her I've been REALLY nervous, but as soon as we got talking, I was absolutely fine. So I don't think my self-esteem is a problem - the problem is knowing what to say and when to say.

[Lupemperor]

Anymore advice anyone?

[Doc Durian]

Real men don't behave desperately.

They can think and feel it, but they choose to process it with total respect to themselves. Good luck with your mission, remember to take it with a grain of salt and never literally. Sociology is the biggest standing lie out there with the flat earth theory.

Good luck, mate

[Lupemperor]

Thanks. I'll see her again on Monday, but I'll probably give it two weeks before I ask her if she's single/ask her out on a date.

I'm more excited than nervous to be totally honest... I'm pretty confident, I just hope I don't get let down - it would really, really hurt me. Fingers crossed!

[Lupemperor]

Just a quick update:

I spoke to her today for about 10 minutes (our longest conversation yet). I was interrupted by a customer at work and had to do something, yet she told me to "come back over" when I was finished. When I did go back over to her, we chatted for another 15 minutes!

I was VERY close to asking her out, but I backed down ...When the conversation ended, she asked me when I was back in (at work) and I told her Wednesday - She then said, "when start my shift, come over and have a chat again"

It's looking very promising! I'm trying not to get my hopes up TOO much though. I will definitely bite the bullet and ask her out on Wednesday (If she's single).