GF just broke up with me.

[harrier]

Hi all, I'm new here and I've had a bad couple of hours to be honest.

To give you all some background information about us. We had been going out for 8 months and met at work so we have known each other for almost a year and a half I guess. She goes to uni in my home town but she broke up for summer a couple of months back. She is back here in a month to start her final year of uni. While she is off uni she is living at her mums house about 30 miles away. Although this isn't really that far away she is working a lot so we see each other maybe every other week on average. We also talk on the phone from time to time. We both agreed that it wasn't great that we were cut off but that things would soon return to normal when she came back here.
When we were together it was great, we got on really well and I really care about her.
I went to see her a few days ago at her home and things seemed ok. We were maybe not our usuall selfs but I put that down to her being tired from work and the fact that we haven't been seeing much of one another recently.
She called me about two hours ago saying that she feels that we are not so close and that our relationship has run its course.
She said she would like to remain friends when she gets back here but I'm unsure what to do. I don't think we should give up just because things are getting a bit tough. I feel that if she really liked me and cared about me she would make an effort to wait a few weeks when she's back here and work things out.
I really like this girl a lot and I don't want to lose what we had but I also want to be realistic and honest with her and my self.

Do any of you guys have any advice?

Thanks a lot.

[Raze]

Well, I'm going to say what I always say, move on. It's for the best.

[harrier]

I just spoke to a friend about this and he said he thinks that she may have done something bad. By that I'm guessing he means she cheated on me. I have to say, it does make sense. Somebody wouldn't just give up on a relationship that was going great for 8 months because things were a bit tough due to the distance and not seeing one another as often thing. Or would they?

[Raze]

I just spoke to a friend about this and he said he thinks that she may have done something bad. By that I'm guessing he means she cheated on me. I have to say, it does make sense. Somebody wouldn't just give up on a relationship that was going great for 8 months because things were a bit tough due to the distance and not seeing one another as often thing. Or would they?

You have too much faith in human-beings. Nonetheless, you have even more of a reason to never see again.

[ironclaw]

congratulations.leave it behind.
all the best for your future endeavor.

[harrier]

congratulations.leave it behind.
all the best for your future endeavor.

Congratulations for what?!

[Tigerfan]

Not much you can do honestly. If she says she doesn't want the relationship right now, nothing you can do or say at this point will change that. You have no choice but to give her what she asks, but I would REALLY give her what she asks- that means don't be her friend. All that does is give her a safetly net while she heals and gets over you, leaving you with constant pain of still being in her life but not getting what YOU really want, and that is a relationship with her. SHE made this choice to opt out of the relationship. You should cold turkey her and COMPLETELY give her what she wants. It will hurt like crazy but you will heal faster and she will be left with her own pain to deal with. Plus the void you leave behind may make her miss you and want you back. It's your only hope to get this girl back someday, but DON'T be friends at this point. My $0.02.

[Tug]

Well, I'm going to say what I always say, move on. It's for the best.

X2, cut your loses and move on

I just spoke to a friend about this and he said he thinks that she may have done something bad. By that I'm guessing he means she cheated on me. I have to say, it does make sense. Somebody wouldn't just give up on a relationship that was going great for 8 months because things were a bit tough due to the distance and not seeing one another as often thing. Or would they?

What she's done or hasn't done isnt important what is important is she expressed her feelings to you and as hard as it is you need to man up and accept her decision.

Dude I know what your going through is hard because Im going through the same thing, about all we can do is hope that things get better sooner than later.

Best of luck

[harrier]

What she's done or hasn't done isnt important what is important is she expressed her feelings to you and as hard as it is you need to man up and accept her decision.

But it is important to me. I want to know why, just to clear my mind and to stop me wondering.

[Raze]

But it is important to me. I want to know why, just to clear my mind and to stop me wondering.

You'll stop thinking about her once you fall for another girl.

[harrier]

Also something I didn't mention but probably should have is that this is not the first time this has happened with this girl. She started working at the same place as me and we went out a couple of times with other guys from work just for a bit of fun. We got together suddenly and in hindsight we jumped into a relationship too quickly. We only lasted about 3 or 4 weeks together as things got a bit awkard between us at work and it really wasn't working to be honest. I was a bit bitter and avoided her at work and didn't speak to her. I slowly started talking to her and we went out a few times as friends and then one night her and I went out by ourselfs and she told me she still liked me and it went from there.

That is why I think if we remain friends when she comes back the same thing will happed again.

[Raze]

I garauntee that the cycle will restart and she will break up with you again and you will say, "man, why the hell didn't I just go for another girl?" History repeats itself.

[harrier]

You're probably right but I can't see myself being with another girl. I'm 21 and this girl was my first girlfriend, I'm useless with women, they just don't like me.

[Raze]

First loves are often difficult to get over. It took me 6 months+ to get over my ex. Have you tried online dating sites? That might help. You just gotta watch out for the psychos. Also, try joining some social sites like myyearbook and facebook and talk to some girls you are interested via the social network sites. Hope this helped!

[harrier]

Yeah, I now realise that it will be really hard to get over her as I will always have someone to compare future girls against. Whereas before I had never had a girlfriend so there was no benchmark.
And this girl I had was a real catch, even my mates tell me, she was very pretty and had the kind of personality I would go for in a girl. I'm worried that I will not be able to find a girl even half as nice as her. I'm also worried that if I get a new girl in the future I will always compare her to my first girl.