online dating need advice!

[chanelgal]

hi
I'm new here just want to ask for advice. I'm in long term relationship for 7-8 years now. Well there's never been any problem between us but we are different nationalities soon have to go back home. Financially it isn't wise to stay together. he asked me to go back with him to his country but this means I have to sacrifice my career, my family, my dream. I don't really know what to do I want to be with him so so much. He is totally a person that I want to have a family with. I'm scared that in future if something wrong between us I will be alone in another country that i'm not familiar with. Most of the times he make me feel great and only one for him. But there is again his male's instinct. Recently, I discovered that he has been on online dating website I know it's for fun but I don't know what he's up to. It could be my uncertainty that maybe there is a chance I might not go with him. and now he's starting looking for new options I don't know what to do? please help

[Asip4u]

It's a tough decision to make but i think you need to look at all the positives that can come out of this and then all the negatives...If you notice a lot more of one, your decision will be easier...Maybe you can go to your country and see if you can start a life without him first? You might find someone just as good? Sacrificing so much is only worth it when you're absolutely 100% sure and you are obviously not.

[Ton]

Dilema~

Close your eye. Think of the thing which comes up the first. Is your ambition is more important than him? Or...

But, I can assure you, you put him in the first place. You should go with him. Because... you said you will afraid if you are alone in the other country. This sentence means all. Go...~

By the way, you could try your best in the other country too.

[true1]

just be honest with yourself. Remember what you want and don't want, and stick to it. Don't get caught up in fantasies, sometimes they lead to disaster

[true1]

make sure he understands how important your career and family are to you

[PhiloSiphy626]

I'm in the same situation as chanelgal except it's been 4 years now for me.

Me and my online bf had a fight about this situation and now he's not talking to me.

I really want to be with him and now I don't know what to do to get him to talk to me.

[ecojeanne]

think about what you want without the relationship for a minute. if he wasn't in your life. would you like to go travelling for a while? would that be exciting? could you afford to go off and try something new and different? or are you a homebird and like security? if you realise who you are then you will be able to make the decision much more easily. don't make the decsion purely based on someone else and who they are and what they 'say' they can give you or even what they can give you. independence is the key to happiness and if someone is along for the ride then it's all good.