Depressed boyfriend wants space, sees me as mate

[PinkNinja]

Please move if in wrong place!

Ive gone to my close friends and family with this, and I need more advice. Me and my guy will be together a year this Thursday, however we've kinda been put on pause. Please excuse the fact that this is long!

K, we met at work and fell in love quickly. I had heard he had been depressed the 6 months he was single before dating me. But I thought he was doing ok. Now it kinda hit a snag in Jan cause I found out he had contacted exs and watched alot of porn and I got upset. I ended it for 2 days and we quickly got back together. Around May time, he started to get abit down. It was almost a year he had graduated from uni and was no closer to doing his dream job. He had a job, working with me in a big business, but was is in debt. He gets bit annoyed and we have the odd fight, but make up.

He was flirting with a girl at work alot whom admitted she faniced him the night we got together, so my trust issues with her are bad. Plus we work with her. I got so upset that a week before our 10 months together, I told him to choose me or her! BIG MISTAKE! He had a big fight via Facebook with me, saying he isnt choosing and said his depression and my jealousy had ruined the relationship. Said he was unhappy and fed up with everything at the moment. But after a good think, he said he would give me another chance and we got back together on our 10th aniversary! And me and the girl get on fab now, and yeah he still chats to her.

Now, the last few weeks Ive been unable to see him due to work making me do full weeks, so only see him weekends and his gran has had some terrible news, so hes been there for her taking her to hospital and such. But it took a good amount of effort to get him to tell me. He abrely tells me whats going on in his life. Now I should mention we havent been intimate since start of June and I figured from depression that was the case. He confronted me Friday gone about me being unhappy as he heard something at work. I told him I was ok. I asked if he was and he said no. He admitted he was still depressed, unhappy (had been for months) and was fed up with everything. He then said he had seen me as a friend the last few weeks. I felt sick and had to get away from him.

We exchanged texts that night, him asking me how I can be happy when he doesnt touch me, show feelings and treated like a mate. I told him I loved him and thought it was his depression making him like this. The following day he was texting me if I was ok, then got angry cause I didnt reply. I seen him in work and he ignored me and was so cold, same as today at work. I asked on Sunday was I going up to his as I did every single Sunday since we dated. He point blank said "No." I was gutted. He then sent a followup "I dont mean to be a dick. But Im serious about this. I need time to get through my crap." I texted him "K, I'll be here when you are ready xxx" We always send xxx at the end of each text, but he hasnt done it for afew days.

So Ive left him alone. I dont know where I stand though. Im giving him space to sort himself out, but I dont know if we are still together. We are still listed as a couple on Facebook and he hasnt actually said its over to me. But Im scared. Scared he wont come back. My grandmother, bless her, believes deep down he will come back and does love me, its the depression talking. My friends are all mixed about it and have given all the advice I can. Some tell me to end it, others say leave him alone. I dont want to lose him as I truly do love him. He has said Im the best thing to happen to him in years and he came back before, why not again?

Thank you for reading this. I would love some insight and advice. I dont want it to end.

[Raze]

I think he's using depression as an excuse to flirt with other women. No offense, but I think you need to drop the loser. You don't need to be with a guy that does that and it's obviously making you feel bad inside. You sound sweet and could probably do a lot better, so don't worry about being left in the dusk. I'm sure a better man will scoop you right up and treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Best of luck!

[LoveHurts09]

he doesnt love u but doesnt want to let go, move on... rubbish advice but it's really that simple.

u sound like u can do better anyway.

[_JM_]

Unfortunately ( but fortunately in a long run), one shall agree with the previous posts. He may care for you, but he seems to care about himself much, much more. You have a parent/child relationship and he is acting like a spoilt brat, it seems. Sorry to be so blunt. I hope you will find someone more deserving. Also don't afraid to let someone go, if it is meant to be, the person will come back. Just dont forget to live your life in the meantime.

[Gigabitch]

Okay, I know it's a cheesy fad and I hear it wasn't a very good movie, but I think you need to hear it anyway:

He's just not that into you.