Chemistry

[boobaa]

What is it?

Somehow I never understand this "chemistry" thing a lot of girls and some guys talk about. For me, it was rapport, just words, is it? So, guys and girls, wtf?

How do you actually know if you have chemistry, how do you know it is the right chemistry?

[btworld]

For me, in my opinion, it's when you are with someone and all of a sudden everything clicks. It's easy to talk to the person, you're comfortable around them, (and/or you're nervous around them, like the butterflies and what not), your heart may skip a beat, etc. It's like an instant magnetism pulling you to them. It can be one-sided, or both can feel it for each other, or they're both just not clicking with each other.

On the other hand, there is a chemistry that builds up slowly, such as with best friends slowly falling for each other. (Still can be one-sided, of course.) They slowly start to realize that their friend has all the traits they're looking for already.

As for if it's the right chemistry... I'm not sure anyone really knows. Sometimes that spark just goes away, for one or both.

[vashti]

Chemistry is an instant feeling of deep connection and out of control hormones. It is also called love at first sight. It is AWESOME, and not at all common. You ned to be willing to look people in the eye if you ever want to experience it.

[Yggdrasil]

Chemistry is when the biochemical processes in your brain go all high wire and give you the impression that you have met someone very special, which you start idolizing and assigning attributes, aptitudes and attitudes the person even doesn't have.

It's what gives you this: "he or she is the only one in my life" feeling.

Usually it's a delusion and a cold shower follows soon after, leaving you with nothing but severe emotional pain (my life is over, I can't live without this person, etc etc), wich again is a biochemical process of course. Be aware of the risks of total loss of individuality when this happens.

[boobaa]

I have always believed I can fake chemistry and bring up chemistry in other person. And as time has gone by, my believings seem more and more true.

Chemistry is nothing more than reactions to words, connections between different thoughts. Rapport can be faked very well. Start by looking the person in the eye, for example, like vashti said. That means chemistry can be learned.

[vashti]

I don't really think chemistry can be learned, booba. The reason I say you need to look people in the eye is because the handful of times in my life where I've experienced chemistry, it happened when someone looked directly in my eye, straight throuh to my soul (if you know what i mean). It certainly doesn't work on everyone, because if it did, I would have had chemistry with much more handsome men than I did, and it would have happened a LOT more frequently.

[btworld]

I have always believed I can fake chemistry and bring up chemistry in other person. And as time has gone by, my believings seem more and more true.

Chemistry is nothing more than reactions to words, connections between different thoughts. Rapport can be faked very well. Start by looking the person in the eye, for example, like vashti said. That means chemistry can be learned.

Actually, if you want to go deeper into it, and if you believe in any of it, maybe a person's energy/aura or whatever is stronger and can attract more people to them than others can. For instance, if you have a naturally inverted/quiet energy around you, you may not attract as many people as someone who's demeanor is intense and outgoing. And again, one person can feel chemistry for another, without the other person feeling the same for them.

I do believe in the whole eye contact thing though. And it also depends on how you look at a person with your eyes. If it's bored and disinterested, then most of the times the other person will get the hint. If you look at them though as if they're the most important person on the planet, then yeah, that can spark an interest in them.

[Kat5]

I agree with Btworld. Chemistry is a sense of connection to a person, a "spark". It means you seem to naturally get along really well and it feels right. Although I dont think this is always immediately evident. It sometimes takes a bit of time to develop this connection as the relationship progresses and you get to know each other

[vashti]

I should say that every time I have gotten to know someone after I had chemistry with them, it turned out to be a bad thing... emotionally unhealthy relationships.

[Raze]

I should say that every time I have gotten to know someone after I had chemistry with them, it turned out to be a bad thing... emotionally unhealthy relationships.

Once again, I agree with Vashti. If you have everything in common with someone, that's boring!

[vashti]

Once again, I agree with Vashti. If you have everything in common with someone, that's boring!

oh no - they weren't the least bit boring... they were filled with gut-wrenching drama. It's just that the chemistry is so strong an emotion, it is almost impossible to pull yourself out.

[boobaa]

Just feelings. Nerve inflected reactions triggered by connections between present and past emotions, memories.

[IndiReloaded]

I should say that every time I have gotten to know someone after I had chemistry with them, it turned out to be a bad thing... emotionally unhealthy relationships.

oh no - they weren't the least bit boring... they were filled with gut-wrenching drama. It's just that the chemistry is so strong an emotion, it is almost impossible to pull yourself out.

Same here. To the point I am now suspicious of those kinds of feelings: emotions go up, intellect goes down. You gotta admire biology tho, potent stuff.

[Mish]

Chemistry is nothing more than reactions to words, connections between different thoughts. Rapport can be faked very well. Start by looking the person in the eye, for example, like vashti said. That means chemistry can be learned.

You can't fake it boobaa, it's either there or it's not. Some people in life you will always despise, there is just something about them that gets on your nerves. While other people you will always get along with and have a great time even after the most serious arguments. That's called chemistry, when two people get on so well that nothing can break that connection. And if it's not there, then it's not there.

[Graham Berkeley]

Chemistry is the scale by which your biology gauges the highest probability for successful off spring. The more the person has in common with you and is at your "level" of physical attractiveness the more likely you are to successfully offspring. It can be called love at first sight when you meet someone within the very narrow band of what your biology will determine "perfect".