What is She Thinking?

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STATS
My Age:18
Her Age16
Currently:In love, i think?
Known Her Since:December, 2008
Been Dating Since:March, 2009
Problems Started:1 week ago

Well, i have a problem.

Like i said before, i have been dating this girl since march of this year. We have gone through hell and back and we are still together. And now, we think we are in love.

But if you have read any of my other posts, you will know that we have had some major problems so far. She is from a very religous familly and they do not want her to date. They actually hate the fact that that she has even made interest in boys, and when she was about to tell them that we were dating they stopped her and said (and this is exact) "If you are going to say you want to date someone, stop right there. You know our answer, and you know what the outcome will be".

But anyway, we continued to date in secret. We confessed our love almost a month ago now, and things havent been better... until last week.

On thursday her mom went clepto on her phone records and saw that she was text messaging me from the start of the day until she went to bed. There was a lot of messages every day, and her mom became very concerned. My girl took the blame though, and stated that she was in love with me. But she said that she had been trying to get me to love her back and that is why she texted me so much. She said that it was all on her side, and that i had no part in liking her. Her reason was that i did not want her mom to dislike me.

Her mom stated that she liked me as a person, and that i was a good choice for her. But that she still did not approve of me dating her until she turns 18. Her mom told her that she will not tell her father, and she will keep everything quiet. But she will not allow her to text me anymore, or see me outside of class. She said it was "for her own good".

So now we are in a huge problem. We have no way to communicate, and we can only see each other for about an hour a day. But that one hour we are surounded by our peers and we have no alone time what so ever. If we say anything such as "i love you" or anything, then her peers will more then likely tell her dad and then everything will blow up in our face. Oh, and instant messaging on the internet will not work either, as her familly have blocked all programs from being installed without the administrator password, and they would never let her instal such a thing.

So does anyone have any solutions for us? We are desperate for a cure to this problem, and will try absolutly everything. We have gone through the ropes and we have found nothing. Please, if you have any idea at all, whether it is stupid or brilliant, i would like to hear it.

Thanks~

[Asip4u]

I really think you should wait till she is older...You may not understand this now but if you go forward and still keep seeing her, her parents will most likely take extreme measures to keep you away from her. I know quite a bit about religious parents and i can tell you if you don't do this the right way it will not work well for either of you. Her mom likes you? See that's already to your advantage so i think you have to do everything possible to keep at least one parent on your side. Don't mess this opportunity by rushing things. You're both young and you'll have plenty of time. Good luck!

[little pingoin]

She needs to sit down with her parents and have an honest talk with them about how their behavior is affecting her. I imagine hiding her relationship with you is causing her some amount of pain in having to keep it from her parents. If they don't see that she's going to have relationships with or without their consent, it's just going to cause a disconnect between them and her that may or may not be repairable when she's older.

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@ Little Pingoin: She has tried. They will not hear it. She used to have pain for hiding it, so she said, but now that she has tried to explain it to them and they still will not hear her out, she doesnt care.

@ Asip4u: Yeah, her mom likes me, and you're right that is a good start to things. But we have tried waiting it out and it is almost impossible for us to wait and not say anything about our feelings for each other. We cant hold them in, no matter how hard we try.

So my question still stands, is there any way that we can talk or get together? We need this.

[little pingoin]

Get your number changed and have her put it in her phone as Sally.

Keep in mind you've only been together for a few months. I know it feels like love, but in a few years you're going to look back at this and wonder what the hell you were thinking. Asip is right... you're 18, and she's underage. If you push, her parents have the right to push back legally. You could be in for a world of hurt.

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Thanks, ill keep that in mind. I wont push too hard, then.

The phone idea was a fun idea lol.

So how can i be subtle about us, but still tell her how i feel if she needs to know?

[Yggdrasil]

Well..consider this a test of your manhood and love.

Let's see if you can keep your pecker in your pants for two years.

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Thats not too hard for me. Like i said her familly is religious, and that does rub off on to her. She wont do anything past the kiss.

Im going to take a guess, and say that you actually tried to help me and what you said was "wait it out. it will be alright.. if you can keep your pecker in your pants".

[IndiReloaded]

Your problem is to keep enough interaction to maintain interest, but without actively dating her. You would also like to keep on her parents good side, if possible.

Okay, so this rules out 'on the sly' stuff, b/c her parents WILL find out & you are in the dustbin for that. Lack of respect, lack of self-control, etc.

I would suggest some kind of activity, perhaps a social/community volunteer one, that you could work at together. Teaching literacy, an activity sponsored by her church, that kind of thing. This is something her parents will approve of, it will build togetherness, but it won't be considered formal dating. It will also simply be good for both of you to develop a sense of social responsibility.

Good luck.

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Alright, thank you.

I will go and look for things like that.

Does anyone know how we can communicate when we arent together? That is probably what hurts the most right now.

[IndiReloaded]

Not without disrespecting her parents wishes. I suppose you could do the old fashioned thing: letters. Also romantic.

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That sounds good. Thanks, ill try it.