Is this sweet/creepy to you?

[btworld]

Okay, say you meet someone online, from the same city, and you two decide to meet in person. To date or what not.

You meet up at a restaurant on the first date, to talk, gauge each other, see if there's chemistry, etc.

Second date, you meet up at a park to go walking. Talk some more. He brings flowers.

Third date and he's talking about "the one", marriage, future, wanting to pick you up at your place...

Is this creepy or sweet? :\ I'm sure it depends on if you're attracted to the guy or not, like his personality so far, but just in general, how would you feel if this went down?

This is asking on behalf of someone I know.

[vashti]

I think people who look for real relationships online are more apt to be socially awkward, and therefore may not be aware of how inapropriate it is to be taking things so quickly.

[btworld]

Hm, maybe. But this is the first time this guy has been looking for someone online. I think he's socially awkward period. :\ No offense to him. I think also it's because he's getting desperate at this point. Just wondering if his actions are generally viewed as clingy and/or creepy or sweet and romantic.
Thanks for the reply.

[ShyGuy81]

I am a socially awkward and tried the internet dating thing, it's where I met my current girlfriend. I am just very shy with new people so find it hard to approach people.

However on a third date I would not be thinking about, let alone saying to somebody that I thought they were "the one", talking about kids, marriage and meeting up. That would be be too soon for me and I think by that stage you probablly won't know enough about that person to make that decision.

The most I would go for is possibly walking them home but then for hte fourth date I would still meet them somewhere. Personally I would view it as clingy/creepy more than sweet and romantic, especially if you think he is getting desperate.

I am not saying that people don't meet and know instantly but usually I would assume that would be something they both felt as they just really hit it off. In this case though you don't seem to be feeling that.

Lee

[btworld]

Thank you ShyGuy81. I would think if they hit it off right away, she would still want to date him. But with him talking about these kinds of things, and the chemistry just not working on her part, I think it scared her away. He thinks it's because she wasn't sincere in dating anyone, and I keep thinking, "No, she really does want to date someone and hook up, it's just not with you." I didn't want to say it because that would be mean, but some people just know instinctively who they're compatible with and who they're not.
Anyways, thanks for the reply.

[ShyGuy81]

It is true, at the end of the day the point of dating is going out and meeting new people. You have to accept the fact that you will meet people you do like, that you don't like and the ones that you could see going further.

I hope it all works out for the both of them, I am getting the impression from your post that the guy is your friend and not the girl.

My advice to your guy friend, is not to worry and having fun dating. Getting desperate and worrying only makes it worse. Dating should be fun and all about meeting new people, not just about finding "the one". Take it slow and steady.

Lee

[btworld]

He's worried he'll never find the one. But I do agree with what you say. If he comes off as clingy or desperate, that will most likely scare others away. But if he's having a good time and not worrying about it, it'll come much easier for him and more natural.
Thanks for the advice. Hopefully he'l listen and it'll calm him down.

[ShyGuy81]

Hopefully he will listen and calm down.

I always think that looking for love is like looking for something you have lost. No matter how hard you try and find it you can't see for looking. As soon as you take a step back it will just turn up unexpectedly.

Lee

[little pingoin]

I've had guys ask me where I stand on marriage and kids just for the sake of conversation and getting to know me, but I think I would be thoroughly creeped out if anyone began discussing it in terms of a life-long commitment to me that soon.

Your friend will be more successful in finding love if he relaxes a bit. Pushing a relationship toward an end result long before its time only ensures misery that much sooner.

[brightgirl]

Okay, say you meet someone online, from the same city, and you two decide to meet in person. To date or what not.

You meet up at a restaurant on the first date, to talk, gauge each other, see if there's chemistry, etc.

Second date, you meet up at a park to go walking. Talk some more. He brings flowers.

Third date and he's talking about "the one", marriage, future, wanting to pick you up at your place...

Is this creepy or sweet? : I'm sure it depends on if you're attracted to the guy or not, like his personality so far, but just in general, how would you feel if this went down?

This is asking on behalf of someone I know.

I'd say this is neither creepy or sweet, but a reflection of how HE perceives this as going. The question is only how do YOU think it's going? Are you as excited and sure as he is?

[Raze]

Try not to think of it as creepy or sweet. I think it was just a means to start a serious conversation.

[bluesummer]

I think it's way too early to have that conversation. Maybe not creepy, just inappropriate.

Creepy would be the guy who told me on our first date that he was going to marry me and have beautiful children.

[Tunstall]

Every couple has a different beginning. My second wife started talking about getting married and starting a family on the second date. Months later we got married. Of course, the marriage lasted only 3 1/2 years, but we could could not concieve and she found someone who could - strings attached.

Last fall, I began an online-dating phase that lasted into January. After dating several woman, I finally met someone who shared the same ideals with me that we were both looking for in a relationship. After ten days of endless emails, I finally suggested that we get together. Although we had each others phone number, we never communicated to one another in that manner. She emailed me back and suggested that I come to her house for dinner as a first date. She admitted that this was not the conventional way for two to meet on a first date, but she felt that I was decent and felt safe (I am). I felt the same way towards her and looked forward to the adventure.

We hit it off, which began a series of my coming over for dinner, lots of conversation, and a NetFlix movies. During our third time together we began talking about a future together. To this day, we are still happily together. Personally, I believe that mutual attraction is the key to how a relationship evolves. There should be no time table, nor protocals. Every relationship, every couple, and every beginning evolves differently - both people need to have the same gut instinct to grow accordingly. If she does not feel right how fast he wants to proceed in the relationship, she should be honest and say so. Enough said.

Tunstall