The Guilt Pains Me

[Chocked]

Hi, I’m a 24-year-old male who’s never had any relationship experiences in his life except now. For the past 8 years since I was about 16, all I did was sleep with girls, I never needed a girlfriend, so as you can imagine, I never really respected women, which I regret dearly now.

From one extreme to another, I am now in a long distance relationship. Its been going for about a year now. I really love this girl, iv never in my life felt so close to a woman. She comes down once a month and I do the same, we enjoy each others company a lot, sex is good, communication is great (we speak everyday for 2hrs or more) everything is great apart from living distant.

For the past two weeks, we couldn’t contact each other, a reason I will keep disclosed. During this time, I have never felt so empty and alone.

It’s been nearly a year and I haven’t been going out to the clubs much when she’s not around, for the simple fact that I can’t handle my drink. This doesn’t mean I get vicious; on the contrary I become a clown and do many stupid things that I regret in the morning. So this is where, I ****ed up. About a week ago, my buddies convinced me to go out with them; we drank before we went out, then drank some more at the club. I was out of it, don’t remember much, but I remember holding a girl’s hand and kissing her then taking her home. I didn’t sleep with her, I guess my conscience got a hold of me. I woke up covered in guilt, something I have never felt towards doing something to a woman. Iv been feeling bad ever since, nothing pleases me, I can’t concentrate. I know it’s just a kiss and nothing more but I feel like I betrayed her trust.

I have strong feeling for my girlfriend, and this is why I wont tell her, I don’t want to hurt her because I know she loves me dearly. Will this feeling go away? I need some advice, I’m feeling really sorry for what I did.

Thanks for reading
The Guilty Man

[Gigabitch]

I really doubt this feeling will go away. It may fade, but the truth is you don't trust yourself any more. I don't trust you either.

What were you thinking?

[vashti]

I would avoid drinking when your girlfriend isn't there and other girls are. It's just a recipe for disaster.

if you don't repeat this behavior, I think your feelings of guilt will diminish over time. However, guilt is a useful tool for motivating better behavior. Just learn your lesson!

[Rollerderby]

You should avoid drinking. Period. You might be feeling lonely, and had a relapse.

I would not tell her if I were you. This was a mistake, and if you really care about her, you'll carry the burden alone. Get your drinking under control, or stop completely.