paul

[paul a]

hi. i am really hoping someone can help me as i have an ongoing problem with my much loved wife of 25 years.
for a long time now she has been involved in a religious pentecostal organisation which her god and religion come 1st in her life above all else. my biggest problem is that i absolutley loathe and always have since i was young, christianity and for that matter any religion. this has been going on now for many years and now my wife says that "god"comes first in her life and if i cant live with that "then leave"! desperate to find a solution, please help. thanks

[vashti]

What exactly is the problem? Do you want to replace God as number one in her life? because I don't see that happening...

It sounds to me as though she has made her position crystal clear. It is up to you to take her or leave her.

[Yggdrasil]

Paul, it's ok to be different.

It's ok to have different hobbies, a different religion, different friends, etc.

It's those differences that make you and her what you are: individuals.

I don't see why there would be a problem there, unless you are going with her to church and such, to please her.

If you can respect her religous aspect, she should be able to respect your non-religious aspect.

That's love.

[Gribble]

This is what's wrong with religion. God comes first? What about her children? And yes, what about her husband of 25 years? What a sorry, sorry way to spend a lifetime.

[paul a]

no, i would like to know why it is so important to her and how can it possibly mean more than our good marriage of so many years

[Yggdrasil]

no, i would like to know why it is so important to her and how can it possibly mean more than our good marriage of so many years

That my friend, is something you would have to ask her. And if you do, I suggest you listen to what she has to say. I mean, really listen.

[Gribble]

It's important to her because she's deluded. She's allowed herself to get caught up in the biggest grift of the cosmos. Fantasy is preferable to reality to her either because she never had the chance to experience the real world or because the real world disturbs her to the point that she must seek fairy tales and empty promises in order to cope.

I don't know. There are a lot of petty reasons a person would do this. Either deal with the fact that she's devoted to her little book of the millennia club or move on.

[paul a]

thanks all for your input, and yes i agree withgribbles view but have already taken yggdrasils advice but it is not something she cares to give me a straight answer to

[vashti]

If she's been involved with this for a "long time now", I don't really understand why you are making it an issue NOW. What has changed?

[Gribble]

When it comes to religion there's no such thing as a straight answer.

[vashti]

I can tell you why God/religion comes first: she believes she will live in hell for eternity if she doesn't believe in whatever their official dogma is... If you GENUINELY BELIEVED this, how could you possibly make any other choice?

[Yggdrasil]

thanks all for your input, and yes i agree withgribbles view but have already taken yggdrasils advice but it is not something she cares to give me a straight answer to

It's not supposed to make sense

But, if you just listen to her, she'll feel appreciated and understood, which will make her feel loved and enable you to be more involved with what you find important.

Get it?

[Gribble]

I can tell you why God/religion comes first: she believes she will live in hell for eternity if she doesn't believe in whatever their official dogma is... If you GENUINELY BELIEVED this, how could you possibly make any other choice?

I would rather die trying to destroy god and burn in hell for eternity than bow at its feet and suffer its cruel whimsy for an eternity. I honestly doubt that hell is more punishing than heaven, at least if the bible is taken to be literal. There's this old Twilight Zone episode about a kid with infinite power who terrorizes a town. He throws tantrums, he makes absurd demands, and he tortures and kills for fun. When I read the bible I couldn't shake the similarity.

[paul a]

i think it is unfortunate that you could not all be here to see wot i see, speaking in tongues, claiming to be able to heal people (including herself) which i know for a fact her health problems remain the same.and yes i have really listened but it all sounds like a ridiculous childs story to me, with credibility of less than zero. i wish i could get it, i even went with her every week for 1 year in a brave attempt to learn but this only made things A LOT WORSE! And you ask why get upset about it now? cos i have been upset for 20 years and try as i might have never been able to unravel the attraction/mystery!

[Yggdrasil]

Gribble, I don't give a great deal about religion either.

My wife's religious and I have no problem with that. It's her life and her views, and I respect that, just like she respects my not so favorable views on religion.

If we would let something as a silly difference of opinion about religion come between us, then we both would be living in hell.

I dunno if that makes sense.