I need help with a breakup. (wall of text)

[Scubasteve04]

This is not for a broken heart. My broken heart has passed and I need advice on what to do next. I will start by summing up the relationship.

I am a 22y old male. I meet a lot of women, have fun, ect, but I was never in a real relationship. I was looking for a committed relationship, but I wanted it to be with the right women. Then I met my ex. Everything about her was perfect and things took off right away. I opened up my heart to her and everything was working out fine.

Long story short 3 months later dumped me. I have a feeling that since this was my first relationship and her 3rd or 4th or something, My lack of experience made me ruin relationship. I took her for granted. I started out by expressing my love to her everyday, and I slowly slipped away from her.

When it came down where we had to have a serious talk, I just sat their with a deer in the headlights look. I didn't know what to say or what to do and because of this she said it was over. I broke down right infront of her. I was a pathetic excuse for a human being. At first I was scared and confused and her saying it was over broke me. I never felt so much grief in my life. I was so scared and alone I did not know what to do!

Once she dropped the bomb all I did was make it worse. I rubbed salt in the wound. She stopped loving me but I still loved her, and I expected her to feel sorry for me but she could not. I was desperate and begged her to reverse her decision and kept saying I loved her and I needed her. Looking back it was a bad thing to do but I was not in the state to make a proper decision at the time.

Even with that damage, it still ended with a cliffhanger. She said that if it was truly meant to be, that we would work out. She needed time and she told me that I needed time to heal. She said "txt me when you have healed yourself and thought about if you really want me" or something along those lines.

Timeline-wise, she broke up with me on Wednesday night, and Thursday was my failed attempts at making her reverse her decision. I could not sleep, I could not eat; I wanted to die. I was in so much pain and I had nobody to support me. The pain is gone now, and I feel that I am already over it. I am a very resilient person, and I can get over this sort of stuff quickly. I feel happy about myself again. I can look at the good parts of our past relationship and smile/laugh! I have no feelings for her anymore, but looking at what we had; I don't want it to slip away forever.

What do I do!!!? Its like 3 days and I already feel I am ready to start over, but I don't want to **** things up again. I am worried because there was a guy there for her and they were pretty close friends and I can see her rebounding on her fairly quickly. I was thinking next week I could ask her to see me in person and just go for a walk, start over, but I don't know if this is too soon. How much time is acceptable? What do I say? How do I approach this? Is she serious or does she never want to see me again?

[Bumble_bee]

give it a while...NC is best, and she won't believe it took you 3 days...tbh neither do I.....I mean you still want her back...that's not 'over' anything.

Time/space is what she asked for her...you can show her you care by LISTENING to her and respecting what she asked. in the mean time, go out have fun, let her know your getting on with things.

[Scubasteve04]

What do you mean by "NC is best"? I know for a fact that if I tried to contact her now it would make things even worse; I know that. But I need help making a plan on when to try. Is late next week ok?

I feel I am over it, because I can look back at the whole relationship, put it into perspective, and try to learn from it now. I accept what happened and how it changed me as a person. I want her back but I don't "need" her back anymore. I can anticipate her saying "no" and being gone forever, and my life will still be fine.

And I am already out having fun lol. I already had a sketchy experience at the bar last night with an older married woman, details will not be given :X And I plan to go out tonight and beat up the old camaro and have even more fun!

[Bumble_bee]

I'm confused, you say you have no feelings for her????

yes I agree with No Contact too, how long you should leave it? does it matter if your over her, huh?

look people can only give you straight up advice if you are clear and honest in your post about what it is you feel and need advice on.

In your post you mention your ex suggested time and space...so I'm saying, respect her request and as your dealing with things so well use this time for yourself. She will feel burdened if she knows your hanging out for her call and not getting on with your life because of her, so don't hang out for her call, don't contact her.

Want time-lines? don't contact her until she contacts you...

[Scubasteve04]

I know it seems confusing. I don't have feelings for her anymore but I still have the memories of her. I know that what we had was good and it shouldn't have ended. She also told me to contact her when I was ready.

[Scubasteve04]

Well, I guess I understand what your saying, thank you. I just wish I knew what the right time will be to try contact again.