Am I a moron?

[JSwedge]

I have been dating this girl for around 6 months. She and I were exclusive and pretty in to one another. About 3 weeks ago she started acting distant and wanted to hang out less and less. About 2 weeks ago I called her out on it and said what is up? She tells me that she is not completely attached to me. My response is okay well what changed because you were for a while. It turns out she has been talking to her ex bf more and more. I knew they talked some but it is increasing in frequency.

So I said to her simply you either need to go be with and commit to him or you need to be his friend when he needs one but let go and let your heart move on even if it is not with me. She tells me she feels like she has to choose from 2 great guys and she will let me know of her decision. About a week and a half a go I did the lame white knight thing and wrote her a letter expressing my feelings and thoughts and she said it made her cry and she is still thinking.

I dont like be jerked around like this and feel like I am in relationship limbo. My question is do I just give her time and live my own life in the mean while or do I confront her again and say whats up. It has been a week and half since my last outpouring of feelings and we have hung out some and we text/call all the time.

I guess on one hand I feel like I should just not initiate anything and let her move at her own pace. The other side says to me that after 6 months I deserve a straight answer whether good or bad. Looking at the signs it is obvious to me that she prefers him and wants him back but I would at least like to be told of this rather than being kept as a backup or whatever I have become.

[Bumble_bee]

your not a moron, who wants to be second best?

do you want to be second best? then you know what to do

[Yggdrasil]

Buddy, you deserve better than being someone's safety blanket or emotional support.

Forget her and go find yourself a decent gall who doesn't screw around with your feelings and emotions.

All this gall has been doing is using you.

Get rid of her and find yourself and your selfworth back.

And no, you are not a moron for standing up for yourself and setting boundaries. On the contrary.

Good job. Right on.

[DoesntMatter]

Who else thought this said "Am I a mormon?"

[vashti]

I did, DM.

Hey JS - I think it is pretty clear that you want a girl that wants YOU above all others. This is NOT the girl that can give you that. It's pretty obvious to me what you need to do...

[WHUDAFUXUP]

It's normal to get confused and have mixed feelings, you can't completely blame her in such a way to give the impression shes a bad person. Not saying you did, but the board members are.

You did right by being straight forward and even writing that letter. You should do as you said, pretty much live your life as normal and not get broken by it. It's her choice but don't be the puppy waiting at the door you know what I mean? Maybe it's not meant to be. Every relationship has moments when it gets tested, this is one of them and hopefully it works out for you.

[lilteapot]

how are you a moron? if she doesnt want to be with you...dont let her get all distressed about this. move on, and hope for the best.

[JSwedge]

So basically I should just sever all contact or should I call her out when I see her tommorow?

[WHUDAFUXUP]

Play it cool, don't cry like a bitch if she says she picked the other guy or neither of you.

Keep your head up, if she picks you be very wary for a while but not in an obvious way and just talk stuff out in a non pushy way, you don't want to nag someone to the point where they are like hey maybe the other person was better than this insecure person.

If it doesn't work out for you, then do the no contact.

[IndiReloaded]

The fact she is 'still thinking' after almost 2 weeks of jerking you around says she already knows what she wants, she's too much of a coward to tell you.

Dump her. Noone wants to be a PlanB.

But, do it nicely. Meaning, be firm (that you won't be sloppy 2nds to anyone) but polite. She might even come running when she realizes you are taking your balls back.

Look up threads by Cain if you want to read how this kind of thing can drag on if you don't cut the line now.

[IndiReloaded]

So basically I should just sever all contact or should I call her out when I see her tommorow?

Call her up and say you want to meet her tomorrow. Be firm and sound decisive but don't answer her when she asks what its about.

If she balks, you can break up by phone, but that's generally a crappy way to dump someone. Do it nicely, in a park, where she can't freak out on you.