How do I get over fear of cheating?

[dockboggs]

My girlfriend cheated on me about 8 months ago, and although I've forgiven her for it, I still haven't completely been able to get over it. She tells me all the time that it will never happen again. Really, it was a shock that it happened at all considering that I was the only person that she had ever been with before this happened. Since this has happened, she has done a lot to show me that it will never happen again, and any time I tell her that I'm uncomfortable with her doing something(ex. going out for drinks with the girls) she will usually decide not to do it without getting mad at me for not wanting her to.

My problem is that I am still paranoid that she will cheat on me again. She hasn't shown any suspicious behavior, and hasn't really done anything whatsoever that hints to her cheating again. I try to reason with myself and tell myself that I'm just being ridiculously paranoid, but I still can't help it, and I know that it's not just with her; if I was with anyone I would be scared of them cheating on me since this has happened, regardless of whether they've ever cheated or not. It doesn't feel like I've made any progress at getting over this.

Does anyone have any advice on things that I could do to stop worrying about it so much?

[tooxshort]

You have to believe that you're the best ****in' guy there is for her and that she's the one that'll lose something if she messes up again ...

But if you can't feel that way about yourself, you're always going to feel like she'll cheat on you ...

And she's cheated on you before, so you're not wrong for feeling that way ... I certainly wouldn't be willing to try. Realistically, you probably won't be able to shake this feeling ...

[Yggdrasil]

Your question isn't: how do I get over the fear of cheating.

Your question is: can I ever (learn to) trust her again?

[Doc Durian]

GSM-Aspicore loaded cell phone in-line fused to her car battery and mounted in a water-dust proof casing on the chassis?

[Enigmos]

my husband did something deceptive. we stayed together almost two more years, but in the end, i couldn't let go of my anger / distrust / depression / sadness with him. those are tough sleeping buddies to have.

like your situation, he did everything to "prove" he wouldn't deceive me again, but i just looked at it as, "when will the other shoe drop?"

i think this will depend on your personality, upbringing (religious factors), socioeconomic status, etc. in my case, i think part of the reason it took so long was because i wanted to try to make it work, i wanted us both to be financially ok (we had a house together, and i didn't want either of our credits fd up), but i didn't think it fair of me to hold on to that pain when he was "trying" so hard. i put trying in quotes, because he also "tried" very hard to deceive me.

we've since split, but i still have the pain. take it day by day. in your heart, you will know when it is time to forgive or move on.