Can insecurity be fixed?

[fullorange]

My problem is I always find something bad to say about myself. Sometimes they aren't even true. I will stay inside my mind and dwell there, asking myself questions.

I do realize that this is unhealthy behavior. Once in a while it just keep escalating into this emotional conundrum. I can literally give myself an anxiety attack on command.

Why would I want to do this? Sometimes I feel like I have no choice. It just happens.

I know if I was listening to someone else talk about this stuff I would tell them something along the lines of, "You know, all of the stuff you tell yourself is completely untrue. Do you just want attention?"

Possibly. But why?

Is it a character flaw? Is it a disorder? Is it external conflicts? What would make someone continually do this to themselves?

Are there any tricks or tips that anyone has to battle this ridiculous behavior? Has anyone felt like this? Has anyone fixed it? If so, please share! I am sure someone else other than myself could benefit from hearing it as well.

I shouldn't have to say this, but serious replies only please.

[fullorange]

The number of replies does wonders for ones self esteem.

[NeoSeminole]

fullorange says:

"Is it a character flaw?"

yes

"Is it a disorder?"

possibly

"Is it external conflicts?"

no

"What would make someone continually do this to themselves?"

mental and emotional weakness

"Are there any tricks or tips that anyone has to battle this ridiculous behavior?"

insecurity is the result of a poor self-image in relation to others. So start working on improving what you don't like about yourself.

[Yggdrasil]

You're aware of what you are doing.

That's the first step.

The next step is to consciously change your unhealthy thought patterns into healthy ones.

For example: when you think: "I can't do this" and you catch it, you change the thought to: "I know this is hard but it is possible. Others have done it. I just have to be a bit more persistent or try a bit harder to achieve this."

In other words: change the way you think. It will take time, but that's how it works.

[IndiReloaded]

The number of replies does wonders for ones self esteem.

I would like to point out, fullorange, that was a brilliant bump of this thread. You are witty, and that should be a +plus on your self-esteem scale.

As for the rest, Ygg has got it right. Only thing to add is that, as you get older, you start to care less what other people think. You learn that other people have just as many (or more) issues than you.

Relax and focus on what you are good at.

[Mish]

My problem is I always find something bad to say about myself. Sometimes they aren't even true. I will stay inside my mind and dwell there, asking myself questions.

I do realize that this is unhealthy behavior. Once in a while it just keep escalating into this emotional conundrum. I can literally give myself an anxiety attack on command.

It sounds like you over analyze yourself and your actions too much. Let your self breath a little. You will find, noone will be judging you as harshly as you judge yourself.

[Bigboy77]

Look into learned optimism.

[MrNiceGuy]

My problem is I always find something bad to say about myself. Sometimes they aren't even true. I will stay inside my mind and dwell there, asking myself questions.

I do realize that this is unhealthy behavior. Once in a while it just keep escalating into this emotional conundrum. I can literally give myself an anxiety attack on command.

Why would I want to do this? Sometimes I feel like I have no choice. It just happens.

I know if I was listening to someone else talk about this stuff I would tell them something along the lines of, "You know, all of the stuff you tell yourself is completely untrue. Do you just want attention?"

Possibly. But why?

Is it a character flaw? Is it a disorder? Is it external conflicts? What would make someone continually do this to themselves?

Are there any tricks or tips that anyone has to battle this ridiculous behavior? Has anyone felt like this? Has anyone fixed it? If so, please share! I am sure someone else other than myself could benefit from hearing it as well.

I shouldn't have to say this, but serious replies only please.

I am constantly around people who put themselves down.

It is axiomatic. They always put themselves down in front of me.

I think it is our culture and how women are raised. Self esteem is overlooked for money and other things.

Plus, people don't know how to raise kids these days. Maybe they never did, or the world would be a perfect place...

[starbuck]

I think you need to realize that your thoughts about yourself are irrational, self-defeating, and most likely untrue. And once you've done that, replace them with more rational statements.

I have a book to recommend to you. It's called "Feeling Good" by David D. Burns, M.D It basically details a cognitive behavior method of re-wiring your mind so that you think better thoughts about yourself and therefore have better moods.

I'm not really all that into self-help books since I tend to find most of them too new-agey for my tastes, but this one is pretty palatable, especially for someone who might be skeptical about self-help stuff (like I was).

[fullorange]

I am constantly around people who put themselves down.

It is axiomatic. They always put themselves down in front of me.

I think it is our culture and how women are raised. Self esteem is overlooked for money and other things.

Plus, people don't know how to raise kids these days. Maybe they never did, or the world would be a perfect place...

Man, i`m a guy.

[Yggdrasil]

Man, i`m a guy.

A+

And you say you have a problem?

You just have to start thinking differently. I have no clue why you think so negative about yourself, because you sure have shown twice now that you have very positive attitudes.

[fullorange]

I think it might have something to do with just taking the easy way and blaming myself for things that go wrong, other than seeing the problems with other people. A possibility? Laziness, that breeds negative thinking?

[Yggdrasil]

I think it might have something to do with just taking the easy way and blaming myself for things that go wrong, other than seeing the problems with other people. A possibility? Laziness, that breeds negative thinking?

Or you may come from a dysfunctional family where your parents or one of your parents put you down frequently... I don't know. I mean, there are many possibilities why you do this. The main thing is: you have the power to change the way you think about yourself. It's not easy, but it's not impossible either.

[ecojeanne]

^^thats right, find someone to blame :rolls eyes:

[Mish]

I think it might have something to do with just taking the easy way and blaming myself for things that go wrong, other than seeing the problems with other people. A possibility? Laziness, that breeds negative thinking?

Not necessarily problems with other people, but you're right in the regard that it is a problem with perception. Don't be too quick to blame yourself if something fails. Failure is a part of life, it's a learning experience, something that needs to be accepted.