I'm in trouble...don't know what to do

[IndiReloaded]

Had really, really bad social phobia when I was younger... they had me on fluoxetine for a while... therapy... etc.

In the end none of that helped. What helped me the most was actually DOING something and not thinking about it.

I made a complete ass out of myself in public places... stuttered until I was red in face and wanted to die... stood in place at Wal-Mart as people walked by being overwhelmed by the thunderous roar of the place...

Dalia, this sounds a lot like high-functioning autism. High sensitivity to sounds, touch, colours, edges of objects, noticing details most other people filter out. If the sounds like you, please read up on it. Not surprised fluoxetine didn't do anything. It wouldn't.

Don't let the autism label scare you. It doesn't imply anythiing about a lack of intelligence. Its usually the converse, actually.

[Aeradalia]

Dalia, this sounds a lot like high-functioning autism. High sensitivity to sounds, touch, colours, edges of objects, noticing details most other people filter out. If the sounds like you, please read up on it. Not surprised fluoxetine didn't do anything. It wouldn't.

Don't let the autism label scare you. It doesn't imply anythiing about a lack of intelligence. Its usually the converse, actually.

I don't know... I was diagnosed with Social Anxiety Disorder by one psychiatrist, PTSD by another, clinical depression by yet another.... so your guess is just as good as any of theirs.

What I do know is that all of my senses are hightened whenever I'm stressed... though now I've learned how to disregard it. However, when I sleep, any noise will wake me. Even turning on a lamp or drawing back the curtains. So I sleep with a blindfold and ear plugs.

[IndiReloaded]

There are many references, just google, but here's a quick one.

[url]http://autism.lovetoknow.com/High_Function_Autism_Symptoms[/url]

[Aeradalia]

Nope... not autism or asperger syndrome.

For one... my IQ is way above what's typical for autism. It's higher than the 'average'... (not that I'm tooting my own horn).

I do well in social interactions... eh... eye contact and what have you. And though I am more of a visual learner, I can still pick up on verbal cues from the person I'm talking with. I am capable of truly empathizing with people... I just tend try to block out feelings. And sometimes... I know I'm being rude and just don't care.

I think this hightened sensitivity might be something learned from early childhood. Had a lot of practice learning to differientiate sounds, study movement... etc. Stress just seems to make me lose control of this sometimes. For the most part though... I am not distracted by such things to where I lose my focus... I'm just aware of them.

[IndiReloaded]

You don't understand, and you are wrong about IQ and autism. Check your PM.

[ecojeanne]

it's about jumping in there. DO it!

i was extremely shy when i was younger. i couldn't even say my name when asked coz i was so self conscious about how i sounded etc etc. i never dated guys when i was younger and infact was scared of them. i made myself confident by throwing caution to the wind while in the process practically having a heart attack....but it worked and i lost all my fears that were holding me back. it's the fear of the unknown too. i started dating for really the first time in my 30's.

it's stressful being shy and i reached a point realising that people thought i was rude by not being able to respond to them and internally i was sweating and feeling crazily embarrassed for nothing! i looked at my situation as 'if i don't do something soon i'll never fit in and i'll never have a life'

Just do it, approach a girl and say hi like vash said. it's the road to getting what you need and want in life.

[littleme]

I read this guy on the internet called Doc Love...you heard of him? I don't know what to make of him.
Can I ask you another question (as i ask it anyway!)?
This Doc Love guy has this strategy- ask for a girls number asap, then wait a week to call.

Their was a girl I was studying with...once again, she showed signs of being interested- was looking very nervous around me, asking me to help her with questions every 10 mins....even 2 other girls said that she liked me and knew the answers to the questions she was asking me.

So i go outside when she leaves to ask for her phone number- it was obvious I was going outside to ask for it. I asked for it, then after she gave it to me I acted very nervous, embarresed, fumbled on my words etc

One week later I text her, and no answer!!!

See what I mean, I don't know what is going on....can you give me your opinion if ok?

Thanks so very much!

In answer to your question: i just googled doc love, came across a page where they pretty much ask for you for your money straight away, also i found the styling to be quite aggressive, all that black and red! what do you think it is saying? I seriously think Carlos Xuma, who gives away lots of free tips and videos as well as selling stuff, will give you everything you need to know about being the man you want to be when it comes to women, including long term relationships as well as the initial approach. there are others out there, but this guy seems to get it - this from a woman's perspective. ok?

David Shade is excellent when it comes to the sexual stuff - trust me i didn't spend a penny so far and he has helped ME to bring out my inner slut in the bedroom by sharing his tips with my boyfriend, nuff said.

the sex stuff is SOOOOO important to know b4 embarking on relationship /dating at your stage, here's why: ur 30, not 16. the women you are likely to meet do not want to bed you straight away but they need to feel you will know aot 2 do wen u get to it, otherwise they will not take u seriously. don't panic about this tho - just chill out! read a bit and feel confident and not afraid to get it wrong, women also love to know ur open enough for them to show you without u getting yr ego bruised.

on the other question: if i man i'd met in a club, who i liked, waited a week before contacting me, i would not be impressed. if it was too soon, he either wants to jump me or is desperate for a girl. 2 days is about right, 3-4 days um well is he extremely busy, or just indecisive? ONE WEEK: he is either playing games or just not bothered. both are a turn off for me.

[littleme]

oh yeah, also... if you had to wait a week, for whatever reason, i would say call rather than text. i'm not surprised she did not reply to text, she will not have known how to take it after so long.

possibly a text after a week is suitable for those who are already busy dating casually and have their black books filled up with appointments too busy to manage, i dont know... but if a guy made me wait for a week for a text, i would be inclined to let him wait a week for a reply, no matter how hot i thought he was. see how everybody loses out?!!