straight guys and strap-ons

[kjb]

here's a question for ya.

When I was living with my bf(now EX) I found a box left outside with a note attatched to it. HMM...girls handwriting.. the note said:
"Too much money to throw away thought you might want these back I know its something you couldnt stand but you loved anyway"

I opened it. OMG Inside the box was full of dildos. and a strap on.
He finally admitted that it was a girl he had slept with many times the year we were broken up (um yeah and cheated on me with too)
and he said one night he let her use the strap-on on HIM.

after almost 5 years with the guy and I never knew this about him. Do guys like that?

[Doc Durian]

Obviously some do.

I heard a taboo sex based radio program a few years ago while in the car, and they had callers (female) only call in about their dildo/strap on activities with their men.

They all made it pretty clear that it was enjoyable for them as much, if not more, than their partners who either went along with it or liked it.

The girls liked the feeling of domination or the ability to penetrate. A lot of the fellows came to like that as well.

So, maybe not as odd as pop culture would lead us to believe.

[kjb]

hmm so doc durian, I never knew this about him. Its not like Im a prude. I always asked him what he liked and wanted. I actually wanted sex alot more than he did but it just seemed like he didnt want to do anything with me. But as soon as we break up he's all wild and crazy. And when we got back together it was BORING. (and not the lack of trying on my end of things)

[misombra]

gross.

why are you with this person?

[Doc Durian]

Everyone's got a kink or fetish they've withheld for awhile or not mentioned at all. It can be uncomfortable discussing these things, even to a loved husband/wife/partner.

Sounds like he felt comfortable with the other girl opening up that pandoras box (probably because it was a fling and he thought he could keep his secret safe?) and I wouldn't be surprised if she knew that you wouldn't have a clue about it when she strategically dropped it off at your home.

To me her actions were a tactical revenge strike meant to stuff up your relationship or hurt him.

So seize the moment, now that his fetish is out and name one you have or always wanted to try but were too afraid to trust another with it.

Turf the old gear of his, go down to the sex shop or wherever and shop for what you want together.

And watch plenty of 80's big hair band videos for the pelvic thrusting practice.

[kjb]

ha! thanks doc durian...for future reference for my next relationships of course. I am no longer with this guy for many many reasons. And yes she did leave it there for me to find. She had been a constant troublemaker in our relationship.

[misombra]

no way.

if he did it with you and was open about it with you that is one thing.

but he cheated on you to do this.

fatal.

[kjb]

oh and "their" old gear was thrown away immediately. gross.

[kjb]

oh yes misombra....he was a loser im not denying that one for a sec. but the question was really more about why he would not open up to me what he liked. And why he would do these things with someone else and make me think he was not crazy in bed. ya know?

[bluesummer]

Not so weird, I know a few guys who are really into it.

I think I'd go along with it if it was something my man wanted. I'm all about making him happy and experimenting, as long as he doesn't want to pee on me or something like that.

[kjb]

yes bluesummer I would have gone along with it as well I think. But i guess he was too embarrassed to bring it up. He went though alot to keep it a secret from me. I think that had alot to do with him constantly going back to this one chick, he prob felt like it was his "dirty" little secret he couldnt do with me.

[lesa]

Maybe he wants the woman to take the initiative.
Maybe it was the woman who took the initiative.
Maybe it was something you said.

[Junket]

It's funny, when I first started having sex, I wanted to try all sorts of stuff, and I would have been more game for that then, than I am now.

[misombra]

Maybe he wants the woman to take the initiative.
Maybe it was the woman who took the initiative.
Maybe it was something you said.

maybe he's GAY!!!

[Junket]

maybe he's GAY!!!

Dude, I'm so gay.