Is it acceptable that my ex-bf called me a horrible name after my accident?

[sadbleu00]

I've been with my boyfriend for about 5 months. I know it was a short amount of time, but I was truly falling for him. However, he did not want to be me saying I deserve better. After the breakup, we spoke and we were going to meet. However, on the way to the location I was supposed to meet him, I got into an accident. My phone got turned off and after the police report etc, I had to go into the hospital, because I had fatigue and hard a hard time breathing. When I was in the hospital getting tested, I was able to get my phone to work again after my friend brought me my charger. When I turned on the phone, I got several text messages from my ex-bf saying why was my phone off, he feels stupid for waiting, how can I stand him up, and he says never to contact him again and called me a ******** b*tch. He never cursed at me before and this was the first time. I was deeply hurt and just speechless. I texted him saying I was in the hospital but I didnt get anything back. I fell asleep in the hospital and in the morning, i called him with the hospital phone and left a message truthfully telling him that I will never contact him again and that I truly cared for him and I was deeply hurt from what he said. two days ago, i checked my email and he emailed me saying he read the texts he sent me and he was truly sorry. he was angry because he was waiting to see me after a hard day and he thought i was purposely standing him up. he also said in the email how he hopes i wasnt hurt from the accident and he said to "take good care of myself". i didn't email him back because i don't know what to say right now. after all, i told him i was going to never contact him again because that is one of the things he said in the texts he sent me. if he truly cared and was worried, why couldn't he just call me? and if he said in the email how he hopes i take good care, doesn't it mean goodbye? is it acceptable at all that he called me that?
Also, I found out that he's going to be meeting his EX-GF today because supposedly she asked him to come back to her. was i freakin rebound then>?????? the thought of them together makes me sick and yet i cant stop thinking..
he hasnt even called me once to ask me how i'm doing.

[misombra]

dump him.

and don't ever take that shit from somebody you've been dating for 5 months.

sounds like an abuser.

[ecojeanne]

well in fairness to him he didn't know you were in an accident and understandably was hurt when you didn;t show up. he asked how you were so i guess if i was in your shoes i would call him and tell him how i was and see what the story is with him. there is no point trying to figure out what he is thinking, call him and ask him

[CAM]

Add to that, sounds like he's a psychotic.

[bluesummer]

Uh, yeah. Even if you DID stand him up, a rational guy would ask for an explanation first before going apeshit and calling you horrible names.

I say good riddance.

[CAM]

...and a rational girl would know really quickly that there's no need to call for an explanation or to tell him that you won't be calling again. He says, "Don't call" and you call to say, "I won't" ???

That's getting the last word with a dork who ain't worth it.

[ecojeanne]

to a certain degree i agree with above posts, however how would you feel if he had stood you up? initially you would be angry , so yes i do think he over-reacted but at the same time it's not as if he said this to you knowing that you were in the hospital. it was at a time that your relationship was fragile. up to you, but i would kind of forgive the outburst based on the fact that he didn't know. but yea it's unacceptable to be called names at any time. but i guess i'd be the more forgiving type if they apologised, i would consider he was embarrassed at making a fool of himself.

[misombra]

i don't think a sane person would have that reaction.

it's okay to be upset, but to jump to conclusions and call someone a fuking bitch and tell them never to speak to them again. i mean, that is taking it too far. the only people i see handling things that way are very angry and volatile people.

this would be a fatal error/ fatal flaw in my book.

[ecojeanne]

you're right mis, but sometimes when people care a lot they do go a little nuts for a minute and then regret it. he likely feels embarrassed by what he did. but you're right she doesn't have to forgive the outburst. it all depends on whether she wants to and how close they actually were

[misombra]

i'm willing to bet that this isn't the first time he's been mean.

[lesa]

I only read up to the point he called you a horrible name. He just showed you his true character. Sometimes the true character of a person comes out in times like that. The relationship was only five months. Not long at all. Leave him alone because there is more to come. I'm sorry that you had to experience that in your time of need. Hope you are well.

[Yggdrasil]

NOT OK.

I happen to have been in a similar situation years and years ago where I was supposed to meet the missus at a certain place.

I was on time but due to miscommunication we missed eachother.

I didn't freak at her or called her names.

The thoughts that went to my mind were among the lines of: maybe she is delayed, maybe she is in an accident, maybe she's stuck in a traffic jam, maybe her car broke down, maybe maybe...

So I left a message on her voice mail telling her I was there and didn't see her. What happend? Please let me know. Love, me.

So this guy: NOT COOL... dump him.. he's an asshole.

Hope that makes sense.

[doppelgaenger]

What kind of man is that? If that happened to *my* girlfriend, I would be in that hospital comforting her.

[IndiReloaded]

Even IF a space alien temporarily possessed him to say those things, a normal person would be totally ashamed and try to make it up to you. At the least by coming to the hospital to see you.

This guy is very selfish, remorseless, emotionally retarded. You best thank your stars you found out about this now & not 10 years down the road. Bullet dodged, think no more of him than you would the turd you flush away.

[IndiReloaded]

to a certain degree i agree with above posts, however how would you feel if he had stood you up? initially you would be angry , so yes i do think he over-reacted but at the same time it's not as if he said this to you knowing that you were in the hospital. it was at a time that your relationship was fragile. up to you, but i would kind of forgive the outburst based on the fact that he didn't know. but yea it's unacceptable to be called names at any time. but i guess i'd be the more forgiving type if they apologised, i would consider he was embarrassed at making a fool of himself.

This is a doormat's response, Eco. No wonder you have the problems you do. Don't you have any boundaries, girl?

They've only been dating 5 months, she had a valid excuse for her no-show and his behaviour just sucked. I could *maybe* understand his justified anger IF he found out she stood him up without cause. Of course, that would make them both assholes who perhaps deserve each other. But, he didn't even give her that chance to explain. He's a shithead, simple as that.