Emotional Affair Matter

[ESP]

I have been in a relationship with the woman that I love for 2 1/2 years now. She was accepted into a great school in London UK and moved from north America. I too took a break from school and moved all the way here to join her. I know that she cares greatly for me and loves me and she is very much a good hearted person with good values and good intentions.

However, she has been spending a lot of time chatting online with a colleague from her school. They sometimes go to concerts together and I'm sure they see each other while at school, though she wouldn't admit it. At first, when she was in London alone (I was in North America) she would mention his name on a few occassions and this struck me as interesting.
When I moved to London I noticed that she would often be chatting online with him and sometimes spend less time with me, though not always. I did mention that it annoyed me and raised my suspisions that I suspected he had a crush on her. She dismissed this and said that they were only friends. I on the other hand know men very well. I have met him a few times, he is likeable but I suspect he's a bit of a player, or a lady's man. He has dated or made out with a few other girls from this program so it's not shocking.

Things have been a bit strange in the last few weeks and I'm not sure why. Perhaps it was exams but perhaps something else. I did something bad. I checked her email, yes I invaded her privacy. I clicked this guy's name in her email and noticed there were tons of chats and many emails back in forth discussing academic stuff, music, things of interest. Nothing very suspicion until an email she sent to him a week ago. He apparently downloaded some music on her computer while she was away at lunch and the music expressed his feelings for her. She wrote him an email which shocked me. She confirmed that she had a crush on him for some time now and complimented him or described what she liked about him. She also discussed how she loves me and can see herself marrying me. She at this point that she would stay with me but also expressed confusion as to her feelings towards him. She said she would regret it if in a year from now we broke up and she would feel like she missed the opportunity of being with him. I am really not sure where she stands now and she has not even mentioned this email or her emotions for him to me.

They both agreed that they would meet in the next week or so to talk about this.

I feel completely destroyed as this is an emotional affair. After reading this email I raised the idea about our relationship and what was going on. I also asked whether there was someone else, and she said no. I have not had the courage to tell her that i spied in her email and discovered what I know. Should I tell her? If so, how?

I am torn, feel taken advantaged of, feel unsure now of our future together but i also know that she seriously loves me and is very serious about our relationship. However, I don't feel that she is very forthcoming about this or very shy about it. I also do not believe that anything physical has occurred between them (yet!) because she is not like that but I still feel that this is an emotional affair and it hurts me just the same.

What should I do? Take a break for a few weeks and travel to Spain? I have an easy time attracting women, should I perhaps meet with other women simply for conversation and to introduce myself to a new perspective? A girl from work always wants to meet after work so that I can teach her french, should I do it in spite? Should I break up with my girlfriend who I am madly in love?

I need help!

[Yggdrasil]

Same thread

[url]http://www.loveforum.net/ask-female-forum/31263-emotional-affair-issue.html[/url]