Very confused, need advice

[ccashew]

I'm sorry its a little long, but I really need help and don't know what to do.

I did a summer share with some friends and a group of girls with a mutual friend. I just got back from my 2nd of 4 weeks out there. All of these girls are really cool and beautiful and fun, but there is one that stands out. This girl is seriously absolutely everything I want, I mean everything, down to the flaws.. almost too good to be true. And it is; she has a boyfriend. They have been together for about 4 years, and he is best friends with every girl there.

The first weekend we really clicked, but she is a fun out-going girl that clicked with everyone there. The first night we are all very drunk and hanging out, she kind of burns out and passes out on my stomach. Nothing really awkward the next day, we all teased about it. I could tell easily at this point I was into this girl a little too much.

We talked briefly over the month between the 2 weekends, nothing overly flirtatious. The 2nd weekend comes around, and she becomes virtually attached at the hip to me. I know I am either wasting my time because I have no chance at anything happening, or I shouldn’t be doing anything that could happen, but I couldn’t help myself, I was loving it. The longer we hung out the more fun it seemed to get, and it feels like its mutual. The first night she literally dragged me into her room and tried to get me switch with another person and sleep in there.

I never actually did anything, but at one point the next night, I made comments like its not fair being this cool and not single. The response wasn’t awkward, and then someone walked in on the conversation, ending anything that could have potentially happened (or gone wrong). She didn’t really seem off put by any of it, though. A few minutes later, she even tried to get me to steal another girls seat on the couch next to her when she got up for a minute (which I declined).

Normally, I would never, ever consider pursuing anyone in a relationship, but I am getting to the point where I don’t know how much more I can take. I don’t know if I should tell her how I feel, or just avoid contact with her as much as possible. Part of me believes this is something special, that I have to take advantage of. But another thinks I am probably being used and just filling some kind of void while her boyfriend isn’t around.

[VeryIntrigued]

But another thinks I am probably being used and just filling some kind of void while her boyfriend isn’t around.

This is the most likely scenario.

It could be she just enjoys messing with you on a psychological level. It's well documented that many people love power, and she probably feels like she has power over you (which it sounds like she does).

Regardless she has a boyfriend, even if she likes you more than she likes him. Lets say you hypothetically start going out and she dumps her boyfriend (who she spent 4 years investing her time with), how long would it before she does the same thing to you with another man? Do you really want that?

[DelicateRose88]

But another thinks I am probably being used and just filling some kind of void while her boyfriend isn’t around.

Girls and boys are VERY different except when it comes to feeling lonely. I'll have to agree with you here. I'm not saying she's a complete fake, I'm sure she really likes you and genuinely enjoys your company but as far as whether or not she wants to pursue anything further with you, I'd be cautious. Looks to me like a classic "I miss my boyfriend and being a girl I need some "innocent" male closeness until I can get my man back" Sorry. . .

[damn2008]

I hate girls like this. They prove their untrustworthy...how do you know she wouldn't do the same thing to you if the roles were reversed and you were her b/f?

Then again sometimes it's an age thing plus how the relationship is going. How is HER relationship going anyways?

This is no different then anything else. People are going to reach out to try and fill some emptiness in their heart or whatever that they're not getting from their partner. But ultimately they go back to that person because they can't pull away.