Saw pictures of my girlfriend and her ex having sex (graphic). What should I do?

[loyolaman2006]

Hey all this is my first post.
The other day I was looking through the photos on my girlfriends computer (not really snooping as there is a folder labeled "photos" right on her desktop and there are pictures of us inside). Anyway I came across a folder that was labeled senior year which were pictures of her senior year of college (she graduated in 2007). I went inside as I know a lot of her friends from school and as I was looking through I found an unmarked folder. I went inside and to my surprise there were photos of her having sex with her ex (graphic ones).
So, here is my dilemma. I know I probably shouldnt have been looking in the first place, however, now that I did, I cant get the image out of my head. It affects immensely and to be honest affects the way I look at her. I'm not mad at her and I'm not judging her....... its just that I cant get the image out of my head. I mean id rather not even see my girlfriends exes let alone witness what I did. I've put the relationship on hold to see if I can get over it but I dont think I can. I mean from now on when we go to be intimate i am going to think about what I saw and its going to lead to disaster.

Sorry for the long post .......... Am I overreacting???? What would you do??

[Junket]

First off, you should post them here.

Secondly, you might as well own up to snooping through her stuff, but don't expect her to apologize or anything.

[Jbleezyj]

pics or it didn't happen. jk

lol well if it was of her ex then shouldn't be anything to worry about since she wasn't cheating on you.

Why she still has those photos? hmm I don't know

But yeh either you tell her you saw them and ask her about it or don't and just rub it off and try to forget like you never saw.

But yeh you gotta tell her you were looking through her stuff to ask why she still has them. Though I don't know what her reaction would be. Embarrassed? Pissed that you saw or invasion of privacy. I don't know. let us know what happens or what you do.

[loyolaman2006]

To clarify:

I did confront her and she swore up and down that she had no idea that they were still on her computer. She told me that they were from a relationship years ago and that it was stupid that she had them. As I said in the first post..... I am not mad at her and I am not judging her. I mean everyone has pasts and thats something that you have to overcome. However, as I have come to realize, imagining them and actually witnessing them are two totally different animals. I just can't get the image out of my brain. It scares me that this is going to ruin what was a great relationship.

How would you deal with the situation.

[Jbleezyj]

It isn't going to ruin your great relationship if you don't want it too.

I mean seriously you know she had sex with other people in the past. You just never thought you would see pictures of it. Just get over it. As she said it was years ago. I mean you have here now. Tell her you want to take naked pictures with her so you can get a new image to think about. lol j/k

But seriously it's the past. I'd only worry about this if it was like something recent or somebody you know like your friend that she was in the picture with.

I'd just get over it. I'm sure you will over time. I mean stop thinking about it. Unless in the photo she was getting pleased in ways that you can't please her then maybe it would bother me as if "am I a better sex partner?" kind of way.

Just talk to her about it if that's bothering you. All I can say is man up and go on with the relationship. If that's not the case about pleasing her.

[doppelgaenger]

I would have doodled on htem in ms paint. Then I would have showed her my beautiful masterpieces.

And then I would dump her.

[tooxshort]

If you want to continue on with the relationship, then you need to get over it and figure out a way to push the image out of your head. It's unfortunate that you discovered them, but this is really something you need to come to terms with ...

You're not overreacting ... you're just in shock because you saw something you weren't quite ready for ...

[Junket]

Take some time to yourself.

[Sonrisa]

i don't think i would be able to get over something like that. putting something visual behind is likely impossible.

[doppelgaenger]

You know, the graphic image of seeing another man would be mind-boggling... but what would really break my heart is the fact that she'd hold onto the photos, especially if it were during my relationship with her.

[bluesummer]

but what would really break my heart is the fact that she'd hold onto the photos, especially if it were during my relationship with her.

Exactly.

You can't help who you sleep with before you meet somebody. However, you should NEVER do the two following things:

1. Talk about your past sexual relationships or experiences with the person you're currently with

2. Keep graphic photos or videos of said experiences after the relationship has ended and you're seeing someone else.

No, no no.

Mind you, you shouldn't have been snooping in her stuff either, so you're even. Stop dwelling on it and be happy that you're the one banging her now.

[Charlie Boy II]

that would totally ruin it for me.

[Mish]

How would you deal with the situation.

I would imagine the expression on her face if she saw some of the things I did in the past and then rest in the relief that she will never find out. I'd feel too hypocritical holding something like that against her given my own sexual history, so I would do my best to get over it.

[Junket]

It was in a hidden folder.

Before leaving my computer at my dad's I went through to make sure there wasn't any porn on there.

I actually ended up finding a backup folder from when my buddy reformatted my computer that had all the porn I had deleted years ago.

[Illusional]

honestly what can you do?? you were not her first lover so get over it.

raverboy