Failed the Test...

[Aeradalia]

I knew the answers... studied all week long... was even able to use my notes! I achieved only 60%... and I'm looking over the test feeling like a ****ing idiot.

Lately I have too much on my plate... so many financial worries... it's a pain just to get on the internet... and even this laptop is giving me hell with its temperamental attitude.

Ever so often, I'll have ironic, sarcastic, and funny thoughts of sucide.. (i.e. wouldn't have to pay that bill if I weren't here.) I find myself leaning a little more on alcohol and sleeping pills than I know I should... just to calm my nerves.

I'm not even completely sure what it is that has me so worked up at times... albeit, I'm not where I want to be... but I am improving things.

Sometimes... I just want everything to stop... not sure why... not sure how... but I sense it's impossible, and this little bit of time I have to sort myself out is very limited.

There just isn't much time... where did it all go?

[vashti]

What subject are you studying?

[ecojeanne]

aera, i admire your courage to keep going through all the stress. sure look at me and my highly emotional moments on here! i can only imagine how hard it been for you but try to look on the bright side; you can try again and the time you have before you repeat will mean you will have the opportunity to do even better. chin up. i'm pretty sure i failed my last exam too but i'm not going to let myself worry about it. there are worse things that can happen.

stay away from the alcohol and pills if you can, it will only make you feel worse and heighten your emotions

[Aeradalia]

I'm studying accounting. I was scoring 90% or higher, and then this doozy. I think I'm going to spend the weekend rewriting my notes... make sure I really understand the 9 steps to the accounting cycle... credit memorandums... etc.

I have to succeed at college... it's all I have left... and I don't mean figuratively...

[Junket]

I went through a traumatic point in my life where I considered suicide.

Fortunately things worked out pretty well in the end.

[misombra]

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJWurqWTeSk"]YouTube - Peter Gabriel & Kate Bush-Don't give up version 2[/ame]

[Illusional]

ahhh crunching numbers...

raverboy

[doppelgaenger]

Last week someone at my Uni actually did commit suicide over a test. They jumped off the balcony from their apartment. 8th storey. Some of my friends live in that complex. They were telling me how the cops were outside scraping them off the sidewalk.

[Illusional]

got any pictures?

raverboy

[ecojeanne]

Last week someone at my Uni actually did commit suicide over a test. They jumped off the balcony from their apartment. 8th storey. Some of my friends live in that complex. They were telling me how the cops were outside scraping them off the sidewalk.

wow! talk about taking the pressure on. the human instinct to survive..gone. why is it a lot more people consider suicide these days?

time had it once that people fought to survive when times were rough. we in the first world have never had it so good and yet this happens.

[doppelgaenger]

got any pictures?

raverboy

No, I didn't get to see it myself (not that I really wanted to... yuck) but I am curious what the remains of a human look like hammed into the pavement after a 40 or so meter dive from a balcony.

[IndiReloaded]

How many times do you think they had to practice this, D?

BTW, the second vid (which has lyrics) is the lead in to the final one (first). Watch in order tho:

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mxPgplMujzQ"]YouTube - Swing Time - Rogers and Astaire[/ame]

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DDXZkBIxso4"]YouTube - Swing Time - Pick yourself Up[/ame]

[Illusional]

No, I didn't get to see it myself (not that I really wanted to... yuck) but I am curious what the remains of a human look like hammed into the pavement after a 40 or so meter dive from a balcony.

[url]www.bestgore.com[/url]

they've got some shit better than a person who has turned into a pancake.

raverboy

[Aeradalia]

wow! talk about taking the pressure on. the human instinct to survive..gone. why is it a lot more people consider suicide these days?

Because a few weeks ago I was living like this, and I'm not kidding:

[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DfZqXLnBYb4[/ame]

There are ways to survive when you're homeless... they will feed you... give you some clothes... but it is almost impossible to get back into the workforce without friends or family to help. The longer you stay out there... the worse your chances of getting back can be. They set a homeless woman on fire a few blocks away from me... just for "fun"... and just about everyone I talked to had a knife wound or gun shot wound... as the hospital will treat them... then return them to the streets.

The irony of it all... was I was working on my homework at a street corner... at the local half-way house... or over at a few 'friend's' apartments... going to the library to turn in my work... and I was making good grades. I get away from all of that... to a place where I can feel comfortable... and that's when I get the bad grade... sheesh...

[doppelgaenger]

That's why I am building a savings as soon as I go back to the states. I have a financial plan for my future.