Why do girls with bfs don't tell other guys they have bfs?

[lizzy_09]

But that's not THIS discussion.

She's playing him. That's the discussion.

I know that Doc Durian. I was only answering from the title "why do girls with BF's don't tell other guys they have BF's?"

Not all people think alike. Some people do and say things which are completely objectionable to others, but it's normal for them. Some of the reasons why she might have done that:
- She just sees you as a friend
- She had problems with her bf before, but not anymore
- Bf only became a bf very recently
- She's doubtful about her relationship

This I totally agree with Mishanya. Better you move on.

[Mish]

I found out she is with her bf for about 3 years now. And when I ask her where is he now? She replies with like oh dunno I think he's at his place. So I'm kinda thinking she is not too serious with him at the moment.

Does that mean that you are contemplating on pursuing her?

[CAM]

Maybe she likes to watch me squirm? Who knows. Maybe she just a total b-----?

Most of the time, the simple answer is the right answer on these things...

[CAM]

should be "men squirm" above --tired typing fingers

[ed604]

Does that mean that you are contemplating on pursuing her?

Maybe not really pursuing, just not really expecting anything to happen from this woman. I will still talk to her and I will be aware of how scandalous some girls can be.

[soulsurvivor23]

This pisses me off so much, and girls ALWAYS do this. When guys make advances with them, flirt with them, or whatever the case may be they don't mention the bf... I mean I understand that a girl will have male friends, but the thing is, I don't understand or accept when the girl will be close friends with a guy that's clearly interested in them when they already have a man.

[DelicateRose88]

Hey ed604, here is the thing: she should have told you that she had a bf right from the start. When I am in a relationship and another man approaches me, I tell him immediately that I have a bf and if he chooses to continue to pursue me then at least he knows and it turns into a friendship. She is a grown ass woman and she should have been up front, period.

[soulsurvivor23]

Hey ed604, here is the thing: she should have told you that she had a bf right from the start. When I am in a relationship and another man approaches me, I tell him immediately that I have a bf and if he chooses to continue to pursue me then at least he knows and it turns into a friendship. She is a grown ass woman and she should have been up front, period.

Sorry, I guess i'm just generalizing because of the type of girls i've dated. I hope to find someone who follows this policy as well.

[DelicateRose88]

Sorry, I guess i'm just generalizing because of the type of girls i've dated. I hope to find someone who follows this policy as well.

No worries, SoulSurvivor. I know what you mean and I totally get why you would make that generalization. Girls are kind of dumb sometimes. Very few of them actually know how to treat a man right. Heck, me included. I hope you do find someone who follows the upfront and forward policy that I have adopted when it comes to men. I like to put all my cards on the table and let a man know what I am about, no silly high school games.

The truth is, girls can be so CONFUSING. They say they want the good guy, but they date asses; they say they want more communication, but then they say you're clingy if you call/text too much; they say they want you to be sensitive, but then they question your masculinity if you're too good to be true. It's so retarded. You can only ask a man to do so much before he cracks.

Girls love one man today and when its over some months down the line they love another man. Men, or at least the ones that I know, fall in love once MAYBE twice and once they get their hearts SMASHED by some bitch who didn't know how to treat them right the guy who used to be amazing is now an asshole because some girl couldn't treat him right. Ugh, gets me so mad sometimes! Good girls then get stuck with assholes because some dumb ass ex couldn't treat him like she should have.

[soulsurvivor23]

No worries, SoulSurvivor. I know what you mean and I totally get why you would make that generalization. Girls are kind of dumb sometimes. Very few of them actually know how to treat a man right. Heck, me included. I hope you do find someone who follows the upfront and forward policy that I have adopted when it comes to men. I like to put all my cards on the table and let a man know what I am about, no silly high school games.

The truth is, girls can be so CONFUSING. They say they want the good guy, but they date asses; they say they want more communication, but then they say you're clingy if you call/text too much; they say they want you to be sensitive, but then they question your masculinity if you're too good to be true. It's so retarded. You can only ask a man to do so much before he cracks.

Girls love one man today and when its over some months down the line they love another man. Men, or at least the ones that I know, fall in love once MAYBE twice and once they get their hearts SMASHED by some bitch who didn't know how to treat them right the guy who used to be amazing is now an asshole because some girl couldn't treat him right. Ugh, gets me so mad sometimes! Good girls then get stuck with assholes because some dumb ass ex couldn't treat him like she should have.

Wow, you are so right. That pretty much sums up exactly why I've felt the way that I do. And i've been on both ends of the relationship spectrum. I actually had a girl who in the beginning of our relationship told me I didn't care enough. Then I put in more of an effort, called her frequently, did things for her, took her out more, etc.. And then she just lost interest in me BECAUSE of that, and dumped me eventually. She complained when I had my own life, did things with my friends, called her less often, didn't go out on dates with her as much, and then when I changed all of that, she felt I was clingy and too much of a nice guy.

And the part about love is true too. I think it's true that for a female, they are more emotional in general and it's possible for them to love each different partner when the time comes. But for a man, even if you date 1000 girls in a span of 5-10 years, you may only feel in love with one, maybe 2. And then when that one mistreats you, or breaks your heart, then it's hard for you to open up your heart for someone else.

[DelicateRose88]

And then when that one mistreats you, or breaks your heart, then it's hard for you to open up your heart for someone else.

ABSOLUTELY! I dated a guy who was SMASHED by his ex. Granted, I didn't let him use that as an excuse but I did acknowledge the fact that it was hard for him to open up and trust another woman when the one he trusted to love him couldn't. Even WORSE if it happens to him a second time, then he REALLY turns into an untrusting jerk.

[soulsurvivor23]

ABSOLUTELY! I dated a guy who was SMASHED by his ex. Granted, I didn't let him use that as an excuse but I did acknowledge the fact that it was hard for him to open up and trust another woman when the one he trusted to love him couldn't. Even WORSE if it happens to him a second time, then he REALLY turns into an untrusting jerk.

Yeah that's true.. And i'm kind of turning into that person as well, because it has indeed happened to me twice, both in different ways but both equally as painful.

[DelicateRose88]

Yeah that's true.. And i'm kind of turning into that person as well, because it has indeed happened to me twice, both in different ways but both equally as painful.

NOO!!! Don't turn into that guy. I know it's probably easier said than done, though.

But listen, I'm definitely not the only girl who has become increasingly aware of the fact that a sizable percentage of guys are assholes because women make them that way! So you're bound to find a woman who is worth the risk you'll take on her. Ugh! See what I mean?!?! Pisses me off so much.

She's out there, just got to be patient. In the mean time, keep being that guy, hone those skills so you won't pass her up when you do meet her thinking shes just like all the others or so you wont **** a good thing up by jumping the gun and assuming shes just like all the others.

Like the great "Jonas Brothers" (lmao) say: "When you find someone, and they break your heart, don't give up on love; have faith restart, just hold on!"

[jean555]

Hi
Same issue at this time with me. Spent a lot of time/money/effort with this girl overseas I met a month or so ago. Even went back to see her - she didn't want me to come. All the IMs and I misses you etc meaningless. First night we sleep together, then 7 nights apart. Then she wants to make up and I cave in. One great night and then all hell begins again.

Now back in my own country.

All the jealousy, all the worry, all the suspicion. Relationships are supposed to make us happy, not miserable - I really want to be out. I hope I have the strength to be out.

One more thing - after telling me she is in love with someone else (too) (she used the word too), I think when I still go out with her, sleep with her, buy her gifts etc, she loses interest in me.

Would a self-respecting man go out with someone who has told them that they also love someone else? That's the reasoning behind the trampling. If you are told that there is someone else and you continue on, then expect the trampling too.

[ed604]

No worries, SoulSurvivor. I know what you mean and I totally get why you would make that generalization. Girls are kind of dumb sometimes. Very few of them actually know how to treat a man right. Heck, me included. I hope you do find someone who follows the upfront and forward policy that I have adopted when it comes to men. I like to put all my cards on the table and let a man know what I am about, no silly high school games.

The truth is, girls can be so CONFUSING. They say they want the good guy, but they date asses; they say they want more communication, but then they say you're clingy if you call/text too much; they say they want you to be sensitive, but then they question your masculinity if you're too good to be true. It's so retarded. You can only ask a man to do so much before he cracks.

Girls love one man today and when its over some months down the line they love another man. Men, or at least the ones that I know, fall in love once MAYBE twice and once they get their hearts SMASHED by some bitch who didn't know how to treat them right the guy who used to be amazing is now an asshole because some girl couldn't treat him right. Ugh, gets me so mad sometimes! Good girls then get stuck with assholes because some dumb ass ex couldn't treat him like she should have.

Wow awesome post you have! Just an update I have stopped talking to this girl because I'm tired of playing mind games and guessing if what she says and what is really in her mind coincide together. I am disappointed what has happened this summer because I have felt at the beginning of all this, I was going to be one happy man. I felt that I closed this girl and I was going to have the best summer ever... After all this, I am trying to be positive because there is 2 months of summer left until I go back to school. I now think nice guys finish last for girls in their prime age of their 20s. It is shallow but to an extent this statement is true.