How to get my relation stronger

[JasonVoorhees]

hello,
like 3 months ago my gf dumped me but we got back together after 2wks. many people on this forum had told me to forget her and move on but i still decided to get her back. and i did.

I changed alot my self from what i used to be but i wish to get my relationship even stronger so it nevr breaks apart again. what are the main things that keeps a woman loving you other then respect and apritiation ?

any help will be apreciated, thanks in advance xD

[Gigabitch]

Depends on the woman, of course. First, she has to be available for the Forever relationship. Some people aren't, you know.

What's she like?

[Icej2k]

Okay... I don't know the history of the relationship, so I will just give you some of the fairly fail-safe ways of trying to maintain a relationship. But you must also understand that there are some factors that are out so your control. So without further ado... Here we go...

One thing that you should do that is fairly obvious, but often overlooked is the fact that you should always be finding out new things about your partner.

You must also understand that the nature of our relationships change over time, just as we change as people. So when your relationship is "not the same as it used to be", it is not always a bad thing.

Stay sensitive to your partners feelings, but also make sure that they stay sensitive to yours. Remember... a relationship is a democracy, not a dictatorship.

Always keep people in a place where they can only add to your happiness. Although it can be nice to be able to trust someone completely, remember that it is never a wise move to make your happiness someone else's responsibility.

Don't be needy or clingy. It is so off-putting when the person you are with constantly wants your attention. it can be cute at the start of a relationship, but the novelty will soon wear off. But this comes back to relationships being dynamic and changing as we do.

Open your eyes. Trust your partner, but if you think the're doing something dodgy, let them know.

Wow, almost missed this one out, and it's a real biggie. COMMUNICATION. Keep talking to each other, and try to understand what the other person is saying. Also, understand that even your soul mate cannot read your mind. So if you see a problem, nip it in the bud, rather than allowing it to build up, and explode in your partner's face, only to tell them that they "should have known" somehow.

And here's something you will find me talking about in a lot of my posts. And this is boundaries. Rules are important. And no, I am not telling you to both sit down and write a list... But you should have a set of rules that are clear to both of you. The way that I advise people to create their main boundaries, is by picking a few specific behaviours and grouping them - "class a" or "class b".

Class a - When the other person does something that is not right, but you can work through and resolve together. E.g. They missed a date.

Class b - When the other person does something unacceptable. And the relationship is over. E.g. They hit you.

Feel free to class there things in your own way, but it is important that both of you stick to these boundaries, and if they do a class b action. IT IS OVER. Because if you don't end it there, it WILL happen again. (99.9% of the time).

Boundaries like these will stop you from getting into what I call an "abuse spiral". Everyone knows of someone in an abuse spiral.
E.g. "He hit me/cheated on me, but he was really sorry, I'll give him another chance".
*guy cheats/hits her again*
"He hit me/cheated on me, but he was really sorry, I'll give him another chance".

And then they start coming up with excuses, like "Maybe he just needs someone to be there for him"
(Yeah, he needs a punching bag. And if you want to be one, go ahead).

Sorry... I feel really passionate about abuse spirals. So if anyone wants to know more about them, message me or reply.

Anyway, I hope my suggestions were helpful. If so, please thank me.

[bluesummer]

I had to go back and read your old threads to remind myself of your situation.....and seriously, she's broken up with you and taken you back TWICE. TWICE. For no real good reason. She broke up with you because "she wanted to be alone" and then took you back because she "loves you"? Wtf.

I have no input on how to improve this relationship, because it's been flawed for a very long time. I realize you've been together since you were very young, but 'love' isn't the only thing important in a relationship.

Good luck.

[Yggdrasil]

[URL="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/"]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/[/URL]

And go couple counseling. ASAP.

[JasonVoorhees]

iv been nearly 4years now with this person

[ramjab16]

never push her to her limits...

and

don't tell her what to do in your relationship...

[Lolitta]

Cliche things never die! Flowers at her door step etc. The main thing is not to overdo these things because then they will become expected and regular.

[whaywardj]

The best way to keep a relationship together and make it grow stronger is to lose this idea that it will "never end again." It can and it might end at any moment, always. Keeping THAT in mind keeps you on your toes, doing all you have to DO (not just talk about) to keep it nourished.

[ramjab16]

just believe that you can overcome everything that comes your way...^^

[JasonVoorhees]

thanks alot guys for ALL your help xD i really am apreciating all your posts

[a beautiful lif]

You need to think back to when you were first falling in love. bring that first spark of love back! I have a blog with several good posts about relationships and love check them out!

Oh, wait. Sorry. You can't because Gigabitch deleted the links in my post. Why, oh why is she so mean? Could it be because I'm not supposed to log onto LF to advertise my own relationship advice site? Gee, maybe so.