I Rearly dont know what to do

[Yggdrasil]

Shit yeah! Who wouldn't want that?!

You just dropped on my respect meter bellow the zero mark.

[vashti]

If I were voluntarily screwing my brother, I'd cry for 2 hours (out of shame) if I told my boyfriend. And no, rollerderbygirl, it is not statutory rape if they were both kids and she consented.

If on the other hand the original poster neglected to mention it was not consensual, he's an ass.

My guess is that there is a pretty good chance this is a troll poster.

[ecojeanne]

roller is dead right about her being victimized but possibly her believing that it was consensual. the fact that she cried about it for 2hrs is also an indication. what 13 yr old actually wants to have sex? and to add with someone in the family. it's completely messed up. i feel terribly sorry for her. in years to come she will realise she was a victim if she doesn't already hence her crying.

[Rollerderby]

I bet the original poster hasn't even considered that this abuse. There may be some 13 year olds who have sex that young, but that is rare and is usually a sign that they were abused as children in some way. I think the fact that he is the step brother is the dead give away. There's a lot of hype these days about girls doing stuff way before the "normal" age. You still need to be able to look at this with clear-mind to know the likely hood that this was purely consensual has really low odds.

Vash, statutory rape is defined differently in different states. In some states it's illegal to have sex with anyone before a certain age. And if for some reason it's not defined that way, even though they aren't blood related, it's still within the family unit, which would fall under the category of molestation, if not incest.

Tell us, OP, how old is her stepbrother? I really wish you knew more of the details on your gf's situation, but then again Giga was right, maybe she shouldn't have trusted you in the first place.

[Yggdrasil]

The really crappy part about this story is that she opened up to him (which is a great show of trust) and he's like almost rejecting her for that instead of being understanding, which likely will cause more trauma and added distrust and resentment for the male gender. The perfect setting to create a toxic environment for that girl.

[vashti]

I think you all are jumping to a lot of conclusions. Yes, the brother may have been older, but maybe not. He may have even been her age. Sadly, there ARE 13 year olds having sex. Most of them are coming from broken homes (just like this girl's). If the age difference between the two kids is greater than 3 years, I would agree that a crime has taken place, but until the original poster confirms that, I have no reason to believe it. It is too important a piece of information to have omitted it from the original post.

[ecojeanne]

taking his age out of the equation for a sec. say he was the same age as her. do you think he would be crying about sleeping with a girl that he access to (and possibly pressured) on a nightly basis for the last 3 years? chances are he took advantage of the situation and she felt there was no way out after she initially committed to sex with him (mistake maybe) but for 3 years?

[vashti]

Why is the boy automatically the bad one, while she is automatically the good one? "Possibly pressured"? That doesn't mean anything more than she was possibly NOT pressured.

You need more info.

We all do.

[Yggdrasil]

For those who are still not catching on: the issue here isn't if a 13 year old girl consented to having sex with her step brother or if she was raped by him.

The result is the same: a trauma has been created. And when she told her current boyfriend, he added to that trauma by not being understanding about it.

That's called a toxic cycle.

[ecojeanne]

i just put the idea out there, i'm trying to imagine what the circumstances were, you're right we don't know the full story. but a guy aged 13 is less likely to feel guilt. i know it might seem like a double standard but a young girl like that is not likely to want to keep having sex verses a boy, just my thoughts, i could be completely wrong on that

[IndiReloaded]

Pompous, if this gal was your sister, not your GF, how would you counsel the BF in your situation?

That might help you to find some balance b/t your comfort and some empathy for this girl.

[Rollerderby]

I don't think the girl would have initiated it, based on her reaction. Also, rarely are females the sexual deviants in any scenario. Trial and error throughout the ages have shown that women are more likely to be taken advantage of rather than the initiators of sexual deviance.

In cases of young boys sleeping with older teachers, have we ever seen a young boy say, 'Oh shit I feel really taken advantage of?' (precluding that they are both heterosexual) There are always exceptions, but as a rule, no. Eco made a great point in that once the door was opened it may not have been possible to shut it. It may not have started with sex and could have escalated. We don't know how long this step brother was in her life. He may have been thinking exactly what Gottfried said: "Oh, shit, total access to ass and NOT blood related. Tubular!"

Yggie is also correct in that regardless of what the exact details are, the necessary thing to see is that thing young girl is traumatized. She started sleeping with her bf after a month at 16, which is also extremely young. This girl has deeper issue that could be worsened by her boyfriend's attitude towards her, now that she revealed her trauma in order to find some sort of salvation.

[vashti]

Yes, but the original poster is ALSO a kid. While he shouldn't be unkind to her, it's not his job to play psychotherapist for her.

[Pompous]

she sais she consented because she thought she loved him, she sais she cried becase she thought id leve her, i did not reject her at all, i held her and told her i love her and have done everyday since, any negative thoughts i have had iv kept to myself because i dont want to hurt her any more then she has been. and as to the comment say i myself am still a kid, yes i am young but have grown up fast through my life, my parents sepatated when i was 5, at 14 my dad was arested for sexualey abusing my sister her whole life, been though another devorce and lived in aboult 16 houses in my life, iv had no opotunity to act like a child in my life. as for my girlfriend, i love her to bits and will stay with her through anything, like people have said on here, i love her so it dosent matter and i just need to be here for her

[Yggdrasil]

she sais she consented because she thought she loved him, i did not reject her at all, i held her and told her i love her and have done everyday since, any negative thoughts i have had iv kept to myself because i dont want to hurt her any more then she has been. and as to the comment say i myself am still a kid, yes i am young but have grown up fast through my life, my parents sepatated when i was 5, at 14 my dad was arested for sexualey abusing my sister her whole life, been though another devorce and lived in aboult 16 houses in my life, iv had no opotunity to act like a child in my life. as for my girlfriend, i love her to bits and will stay with her through anything, like people have said on here, i love her so it dosent matter and i just need to be here for her

Ok well take my advice here and you both go counseling because you both have serious issues.