Question about therapists after a breakup.

[catfish1199]

Question about theapists, anyone with any experience?
I know that I am reaching for answers here, but the truth is, I cannot stop thinking about this. This should also be an example for those of you who think hooking up with your ex is a good thing. It only makes you think about it every second again.

A little background. Together for 7 years. Broke up for 7 months. Essentailly she broke up with me because I never grew into the man that I should have. I disappointed alot and was irresponsible, just like her dad. I have come a long way since then and I know she sees that.

Here goes.

I just had a night where the Ex and I had a long, emotional and deep discussion and found that we agreed on everything and found those answers independently, and she was ALL OVER me. We went home together. We didnt have sex though. We even had fun talks about our situations with other people and the ring I gave her, and other things in the morning. Everything pointed to positive things. Lots of laughs. And crying on her part, especially in the morning.

My question is about how therapists operate. SHe saw her therapist the next day. Later in the day, we had a text conversation that included this "...I think slowly we may be able to be friends...just going to take time..." This seems to me to come from the mouth of the therapist.

Do they usually try to push the idea of taking things VERY slow, or is this "friends" statement a clear indication that she thinks that night was a mistake? Or maybe the therapist told her that no matter what happens, we must become friends first? Maybe she wants nothing more than friendship? 100% of her actions and words that night were not pointing to friendship. Puzzling.

Do therapists discourage these kinds of interactions with Ex's?

Will this be a battle with me and her heart on one team and her therapist on the other?

FYI- She is seeing a therapist for personal growth, improvement and family issues mostly, but the breakup is probably discussed some, especially lately.

Thanks for anything you might be able to provide.

[Yggdrasil]

Seems to me the message is clear: she no longer wants a relation with you, not now, not in the future, but eventualy, somewhere in the long run, she could handle having you around as a friend, not a life partner.

[Tim Jones]

I understand the emotions involved, but If you really cared about this girl, you would back off a little...

In short.. You are injecting emotions into an already fragile girl, and it does not take a genious to realize that you can influence her opinions. If you really cared about her, you would simply back away from the situation and let her be. If she calls you then great and always keep the conversations lite and friendly... Meaning, no more sobbing moments... I know it is hard to see now, but there are many more fish in the sea than this little girl and my advice would be to find them instead of trying to beat a dead horse...

[catfish1199]

If she truly does want to be nothing more than just friends, how could she let all of that happen, how could she let herself feel me again and be so into me? I ask this because I know she sees who I am becoming, she even commented on it.

I will try and let her do the contacting, but I have the urge to try and have another conversation with her, maybe this time with less making out and going home together.

Is the door not partially open there? We couldnt control ourselves.