Do the terrible two's exist?

[LadieNisha4u2nv]

So right now my daughter is on the floor being rebellious and loud. My dad went to the store and she cried cuz he left. When I tell her to come she just watches me and turns away. I lifted her up to come to me and she threw herself back on the floor so I left her alone to let her get over it.

She hits me sometimes, screams and throws herself around when she doesnt get what she wants. I dont scream at her or get angry at her anymore, I just leave her to watch tv and calm down, which does work.

I've already told you guys I am trying my best to be the best mom I can be. So what I wanna know is is this normal? Do the "terrible two's" really exist or am I doing something wrong?

[vashti]

Of course they exist. Children that age have no impulse control and lack the verbal skills they need to properly express themselves, so they act out in frustration. I suggest you work on teaching her the words to use to express herself, for example, she may be worried that when her grandfather leaves, he may not come back. So you might say "are you sad grandpa is leaving? Don't worry, he'll be back when it is time for dinner."

And then distract her.

BTW - the terrible twos turns into the terrible threes, then fours, and so on... right into the terrible teens. In my experience, every year they age just brings a new kind of problem. It's just that some of those problems will be easier for you to handle than others.

[LadieNisha4u2nv]

Whenever someone leaves that she wants to see and spend time with, I always reassure her that they will be right back or they'll be back later.

After I made this thread and she still hadn't calmed down, I took her up on my lap and changed the channel to Noggin(a preschool channel that she oh so loves). One of her favorite shows was on and she smiled and hugged me and laid in my arms.

I just needed to know if it was anything that I was doing wrong.

[Junket]

You could do everything right and it wouldn't matter.

[vashti]

I just needed to know if it was anything that I was doing wrong.

Are you worried she doesn't like you if she cries when her grandpa leaves? If so, I wouldn't. Children are selfish. She wants EVERYONE to do as she wants.

[LadieNisha4u2nv]

Yes, I am terrified that she loves him more and doesn't love me or want anything to do with me. I am also terrified of bringing her up and she is full of resentment towards me in any form of way.

[Junket]

Yes, I am terrified that she loves him more and doesn't love me or want anything to do with me. I am also terrified of bringing her up and she is full of resentment towards me in any form of way.

Oh, come on.

Like Vash said, children can be a bunch of dickheads.

I used to cry like a little bitch when I was younger and she disciplined me much more than you your daughter.

I didn't hold anything against her until my teenage years when she got abusive.

I'm sure if you left for somewhere she'd miss you just as much.

[vashti]

Yes, I am terrified that she loves him more and doesn't love me or want anything to do with me. I am also terrified of bringing her up and she is full of resentment towards me in any form of way.

Are you a good mother? If you are, then stop worrying; this is not a competition. You will definitely not be the popular one from time to time, and rest assured she WILL resent you occassionally. If she didn't, it would mean you weren't doing your job properly. You are that little girl's mother - not her playmate. You will be responsible for making unpopular decisions that will be in her best interests, and she will tell you she hates you for it. You are going to have to develop a thicker skin. Just do what you know is right, and let her be mad for a while if she wants. She's just a baby, and her brain isn't even fully developed yet.

Also, try to be happy that your little girl has someone to love her besides you.

[cewzp4]

I don't have my own children but I work at a daycare. I have experienced something like you are talking about with one of the little boys there. He's just over two and whenever anyone leaves, even if its someone else's mom or dad, he starts crying and says "Nooo! My (insert name)" and throws a fit. I definitely understand how frustrating it can be. We usually distract him with something until he settles down.

[Illusional]

i don't have any children, however, i would show her who is boss at a young age because it will only get worse later. if she thinks that she can get away with crying and screaming now, imagine what the future will hold.

raverboy

[LadieNisha4u2nv]

I just think that scolding a child for every tantrum is unnecessary stress on the person because it will happen regardless. She does not get what she wants from me, guarantee that. So she throws herself on the round in hopes of me changing my mind and giving her what she wants. So when she throws herself on the ground and I know it's for something silly, I ignore her. I let her let it all out and then she omes to me, kisses me, and sits in my lap and behaves. She is that way because my mother and father spoil her by giving her what she wants when she cries. I refuse to do so. I refuse to make her believe that by crying she will get what she wants with me.

[Junket]

I just think that scolding a child for every tantrum is unnecessary stress on the person because it will happen regardless. She does not get what she wants from me, guarantee that. So she throws herself on the round in hopes of me changing my mind and giving her what she wants. So when she throws herself on the ground and I know it's for something silly, I ignore her. I let her let it all out and then she omes to me, kisses me, and sits in my lap and behaves. She is that way because my mother and father spoil her by giving her what she wants when she cries. I refuse to do so. I refuse to make her believe that by crying she will get what she wants with me.

They appease her because she's not their child. They just want her to shut up.

Unfortunately you'll have to live with the decisions they make with her.

[vashti]

Ignoring a tantrum is exactly the right way to handle it. Just be sure she's physically safe, and don't react emotionally to her. Tantrums are (again) normal for this age.

[doppelgaenger]

Haha, I remember when my little sister was 2 years old. She could unlock my bedroom door and open it. Gets into everything. That's when my stepdad put those safety close things on all the cabinets.

Just take lots of embarrassing pictures. It all adds up in the end.

[Thelovedoctor]

sounds like a typical two year old to me.

Make sure when you get older, you don't give in to what she wants every time, or she will run over you for the rest of your life.

I'd really hate to see a parent have to resort to what doctror phil calls commando parenting. basically strip their room to nothing but a bed and a dresser and basically make the kid earn his or her stuff back by being good.

of course, the downside to this, is that they will get pissed off, tantrum ands try to wreck things, but a strong arm and disipline will fix that.