I need help! I am desperate!

[greenman44]

My ex broke up with me back in January. We were engaged since august and had dated for 2 1/2 years. I admit I am the reason the relationship ended. I was controlling, wouldnt let her have friends, wouldnt let her go out at all without me, and was pushy. I also didnt show her I loved her very well. I know all the girls out there are saying she is better off without me and she should have dumped me and you are right, but that was the old me. Fact is, I love this girl with all my heart. I have spent the last 5 months working on me so that I can be the man I used to be and the man she wanted me to be. The problem is, now she has started dating a new guy and they are moving really fast. They started their relationship like 5 days ago and already she seems really attached. I want to win her back and I know she still loves me. She tells me she doesn't love me romantically anymore, but I find that hard to believe since we dated and were engaged so long. She loved me with all her heart and I know that. I want to know what I can do to get her to choose taking a guy with my past with her back over this new guy who she seems clinging to. I miss her so much and its tearing me apart.

I tried the usual begging routine and it backfired, I tried the calling, and facebooking and emailing as well which only pushed her further. The new guy is okay with her being my friend but its limited and she is respecting his feelings on it so I dont get to see her much. It is a long distance relationship as well as she is 2 hours away and she has a new cell number as well which she hasnt given to me. I dont know what to do. Is there any hope of getting her back? If so, please tell me what to do. She still seems to want me around but only on her terms and at her time. Please tell me what i can do!

I'd also like to add that I am 21 years old, recently graduated college and she is 20 soon to be 21. She had some fears about the wedding but I offered sincerely to postpone as long as she needed.

[greenman44]

bump. . . please help me!

[meliza]

I understand how you feel, first need to give him time, then tries to conquer it again, do not try to tell back, try to conquer it again as if you had ever seen.

If the chick is for you the time will be show you.

About the new bf dont take 2 much importance, maybe has recently come out with the guy because feel hurting, but if it puts you one stop respect and give time, you had your chance to show the best and love her and, now she is the one who decides.

Take care and give time.. Time heals everything

Remember this: you never know what you got till you lost.

[greenman44]

Yeah I had my chance and I blew it, but I cant give up without showing her I am different. I dont wanna force it upon her, but how can I subtly get her to see and maybe give me one last shot at it?

[meliza]

Women in most of the time trying to make the difficult in these situations.

Dont show your feels to her, if you see her, say only hello or something simillar with smile or happy. This is for show to the chick you are happy and then the chick want to know why you are happy and the conversation will be more enjoyable.

Never try to do the same, i mean out with other chick because this wana confue the things.

Try this and then tell us how is the progress.

[greenman44]

Once again I am long distance so the only way I see her is if I go see her 2 hours away with a planned hang out time, which is dictated by what he is comfortable with us doing.

[greenman44]

bump. . .please help

[greenman44]

help me please

[ms_jane]

One of my good friends is also in a long distance relationship(2 hours just like yours). She and her guy have been in their relationship for about a little over a year and they always talked about a future together and other marriage stuff. However, her boyfriend was always controlling and never let her go out unless she asked him for permission. And so one day she just stood up for herself and said she's had enough of all those lonely nights. She walked out of the relationship and he was devastated. But two weeks later she realized why he is always so demanding and so controlling...and she went back to him. She realized she truly loved him. She couldn't blame him for the fact that he lived 2 hours away and was constantly worried about her.
If your (ex)girlfriend really, truly loved you she would have came to her senses by now. I'm sorry to say that, but five months just seems so long and gone already. I think she might have really moved on. And perhaps you should too. I'm sorry if my advice sucks.

[moonfairy_2002]

sorry, but I was in the same situation, and she isnt coming back.

[greenman44]

At first she said she wanted to give us another shot, she just needed some time for her, i was stupid and kept pushing, then she told me she would give me the same chance she gave every other guy, I kept pushing, then she said no completely. I dont think this new guy will work out cuz they are moving REALLY FAST and spending a ton of time together. I think itll burn out and it seems to be a tool she is using to get over me. Is there anything I can do to ensure that im the first one she considers if it doesnt work out?

[Mish]

She's with someone new, wait it out and see how it goes between them. Though, I think your best chance is to move on.

[greenman44]

I would love to wait it out, but its tearing me apart seeing it all happen. I dont know whether to try to be her friend or not. She seems to be pushing me away no matter what I try while all the time telling me that she wants to keep me as her friend.

[starbuck]

Yeah I had my chance and I blew it, but I cant give up without showing her I am different. I dont wanna force it upon her, but how can I subtly get her to see and maybe give me one last shot at it?

You can't, Green. What's done is done. The only thing you can do is let her know you feel you've changed and then put the ball in her court.

Why don't you write her one last heartfelt email, addressing how you would be different in the next relationship? Let her know that you are there for her if she changes her mind. And then send it off and give her the time to let it sink in. Constantly pushing at it may only push her away more.

If she doesn't come back, move on and find someone else. After that, what else can you do?

You might also want to make peace with the fact that you've lost her already and take stock of what you've learned from this relationship so that you don't make the same mistakes in your next one.

[Yggdrasil]

Move on. You screwed it up. Learn from your mistakes and don't make the same ones next time.

The biggest mistake you made was pushing when she told you to give her space. How would you feel if you needed time for yourself to think things over and someone would be bugging you about it every 2 minutes?