Thought i actually meant something to her
Basically ended my 1.5 year relationship because i had doubts that i could love her with the way she unintentionally treated me, and the stress and complications of having her in my life that was eating me up inside.
Throught this 1.5 year relationship i helped her through depression and helped her through her parents splitting, she claimed that without me she would die inside and i told her that is stupid but she was 100% sure that without me life would be pointless, at this stage i believed her.
Around 80% of her friends are/were male, this made me uneasy as a couple of them had a thing for her at one stage or another, especially 1 friend who i knew at the time liked her more than a friend, this friend we will call Sam, anyway she spent time with him after school probably 2-3 times a week because he was depressed (not that i believed this, and still dont), they became good friends and she claimed that she knew sam liked her but she didnt see him as anything more than a friend blah blah blah, he would send her msgs alot saying 'hey wats up'... blah blah blah
So 2 or 3 weeks after we broke up she goes to this party with Sam and makes some friends, im happy for her.
She seemed fine about the break up, almost as though she was moving on straight away. There was suttle hints in bulletins and such that she posted on myspace and thru msn like 'pretty sure your cooler lol' and ' i no what i want but dont no if i should', this is similar to the way she acted when she liked me b4 we started going out, other things like that, i havent confronted her about this and dont plan to because she hasnt anything to do with my life other than slight friends now.
I was feeling down because i had a lonely weekend because all my mates were out with their partners etc, and i read all these things about the new friends etc.
She started talking to me and i told her i had a bad weekend after she told me how great hers was. i told her i was sorry i couldnt love her anymore, but instead of saying wat i thought she would she said 'we knew from the start that this wasnt going to be a fairytale ending'...
I feel like shit because everyone is asking how she is because i ended it, no one cared/s about what i was going through when she seems to be coping without any complications.
I no i can move on but it will take some time, but she said i meant everything to her, obviously i was mislea or am i just over analysing this situation
For every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth there is an ear somewhere to hear it. For every love there is a heart somewhere to receive it.
~ by Ivan Panin ~