Does he want to have sex before we marry or not?

[Sweetypie02]

Hi everyone. Jason is my fiance. Well, last night we had cyber sex. He told me that he did not masturbate during this. I asked him if he wanted to have sex before marriage and he said I don't know. This was before the cybering. But then later he told me he wants to remain pure. What is he thinking?

[doppelgaenger]

Sounds like he wants to remain 'pure'. Whatever the hell that means.

[Sweetypie02]

Sounds like he wants to remain 'pure'. Whatever the hell that means.

I'm surprised you don't know what that means. It means that he wants to save sex for marriage. Him and I are a relatively religious couple and the word "pure" is another term for saving sex for marriage.

[boobaa]

I think you need to lose some weight if that is you on that picture. One thing is chubby woman, but that chin is just wobbly.

[Junket]

I'm surprised you don't know what that means. It means that he wants to save sex for marriage. Him and I are a relatively religious couple and the word "pure" is another term for saving sex for marriage.

That may be, but you're just causing more problems for yourselves than it's worth.

[Rollerderby]

Cyber sex is not sex. It's dirty talk, and not even porn if he didn't even masturbate. How religious are you, is masturbation and dirty talk bad, or just sex before marriage? are you two long distance, or why did you go about this route? Also, why was this the first time you guys talked about this?

[Lonely Island]

I think you need to lose some weight if that is you on that picture. One thing is chubby woman, but that chin is just wobbly.

SHOTS FIRED

[Rollerderby]

I feel kind of bad for the fat jokes, those are never nice, guys.

But something in my gut just told me that he's in the closet.

[bluesummer]

I don't get the 'purity' thing. Sex between two loving, committed people isn't a dirty thing. You're engaged, so why not.

Besides, if you were so 'pure' you wouldn't be talking dirty over the internet.

[Yggdrasil]

I think you need to lose some weight if that is you on that picture. One thing is chubby woman, but that chin is just wobbly.

Whom are you to judge others?

[Yggdrasil]

Hi everyone. Jason is my fiance. Well, last night we had cyber sex. He told me that he did not masturbate during this. I asked him if he wanted to have sex before marriage and he said I don't know. This was before the cybering. But then later he told me he wants to remain pure. What is he thinking?

I think you should ask him, not us. Your relation is with him, not us. Part of a healthy relation is open and honest communication.

Good luck with your relation.

[NeverBeenNLuvB4]

That may be, but you're just causing more problems for yourselves than it's worth.

If you're saying saving yourself will cause problems in the marriage, then you're in for a bit of a surprise. Not EVERYONE believe sex is everything in a relationship. Not everyone is Americanize in this country. There are people like me who still follow their religion, beliefs, religion, blah blah & are still saving themselves for marriage. What's wrong with that. Does a man have to be great in bed in order for that marriage to work? Again, complete rubbish.

[Junket]

If you're saying saving yourself will cause problems in the marriage, then you're in for a bit of a surprise. Not EVERYONE believe sex is everything in a relationship. Not everyone is Americanize in this country. There are people like me who still follow their religion, beliefs, religion, blah blah & are still saving themselves for marriage. What's wrong with that. Does a man have to be great in bed in order for that marriage to work? Again, complete rubbish.

Who believes sex is everything in a relationship?

Maybe Gribble, but I don't recall saying that.

However, anyone that tries to tout that sex is only a small portion of a relationship is either, ignorant, lying to themselves, or conveniently has a low libido that matches their partners'.

Sex is a major aspect of relationships. Especially for younger couples. Why else is sex always on the agenda once people get married?

Hell the honeymoon is practically a religiously sanctioned sex ritual. Or at least the wedding night.

Now, I have my own issues with marriage alone, but that aside, we live in a new era. Where women aren't married simply to pop out as many children as possible for tending the farms or going to war. Couples (even married ones) are putting child bearing off 'til later. Their priorities are focused on themselves, their jobs, their personal goals. If an individual, male or female, isn't satisfied with the sex on any level, whether it's the quality, or the quantity (or both), it's going affect the relationship in a negative way. Especially if there's a lack of communication and understanding.

My point is, that sex finally becoming recognized in America to be a major factor of romantic relationships (although with some resistance in obvious populations). That even with this couple, their sexual needs are already being shared but satiated in an alternative way. Therefore, discovering sexual compatibility through, (gasp!) sex before marriage, is ideal. And by no means, "wrong".

I can assure you that neither of these people are "pure" in any other aspect of their characters, and if God is going to judge them based on their sex lives alone then I think even Christians would cry foul.

[Yggdrasil]

I'm in agreement with Frasbee here.

And I even would like to go a tad further on that one: I think it would be tremendously beneficial to a lot of couples who want to get married, to first live together for say a year or two before they make that step. Sort of like a trial period.

Of course, that's just my opinion.

[Indignant]

trolls tra la la