So I return to a workplace I haven't been to in 5 years, same company but with new employees for the most part with the intention of a month long stay, maximum, then return home to Australia. Last time around I spent 7 months, so it should have been a cake walk, eh?
Except the complications have immediately arisen.
Leaving a newer girlfriend back home (who I've known considerably longer than that), I grabbed a silver wedding style band and chucked it on the ring finger knowing full well that hazel/blue eyes, light hair, and white skin is somewhat a chick magnet and I didn't want the temptation.
Last time around, I was single.. and quickly became involved with someone here for the entire time... but it fell apart after with the distance and time, and a few economic items not considered at the time. Though she was great... lovely, smart, pretty, and oh la la. It was a shame, and I had a lot of regrets about not being able to make it work.
But I moved on, as we all have to... and had no desire to look her, her sister, her sister's partner (my good mate of the time) up this time around... Too difficult.
Well I arrived and quickly realized that wedding bands and having a girlfriend was not important to a number of stunning females who asked to be introduced to me by my new workmates. To compound this, a few female workmates also more or less stated interests...not work related. But we all worked through it... we coped. I remained true to my gf.. at least in body.
See, her and I haven't been intimately ...coupled? in many months as she's got a freely admitted issue with her body image and her ability to be intimate. This has been an issue off and on her entire life.
Oddly enough, for a sizeable town... you bump into people, and last weekend I saw my mate at a popular disco... who in turn told me his problems.. (recently seperated, small child with the sister) and that my old gf was working in the adjoining casino to us. I mentioned it wasn't a comfortable situation meeting her after all that time, and thought nothing of it.
Then long and behold, last night, after being dropped off at the hotel.. I was approached in the foyer by none other than guess who with a female friend?
She hasn't changed one bit. Beautiful.
In a very perturbed and disoriented state, I invited both of them for tea/cafe and we began the process of talking... they asked and I was clear about it. No, not married.. but taken. She expressed some degree of sadness that it was so... but she worked through it, and after he friend departed for work... her and I reminisced about the fun times we had like a pair of old friends.
It was as if time had never lapsed one day.
With one exception.. the translator. Who has done more than she's needed to do on my behalf, and in our short time together, I consider a very close friend, as does she..I..
Her and I have dinners out quite often and drinks... she's in an unhappy marriage of convenience with someone quite older than her and likes the company, a gringo mentality to bounce off of (she's spent many years living abroad), and is welcome at my place anytime.. whether to catnap before driving home, have a tea and smoke with, etc... or just talk about whatever.
Well, she dropped me off that night..and I deferred dinner to another night as I was tired and said as much.
So she went out solo, and had a few drinks...
As the old gf and I were in my room having drinks.
Guess who wanted to pop in during all this (she wanted a sober up a little tea)? And the awkwardness of having to explain politely that she was welcome to stop by but I had company... just so she knew... She eventually got the picture... and wished me fun. Except, it appears to go against everything I've stated or done since being here. There is an attraction between us, if you haven't gathered that... although she jokingly calls herself my "29 year old mother" as we've been very black and white about our dealings, and it's her job to look after me during my stay.
To top this off... I haven't mentioned anything of all this to the new gf. I don't think it sounds too terribly good. Although the new gf is quite open minded or if you want to say, lax, about getting upset or thinking improprieties usually.
This is only the 3rd week now... Supposed to go home in a few days, but agreed to one more week.
Now they've offered a lucrative deal for....drum roll.... 6 months.. again.
Full circle.
I've asked the gf, and with her understanding and shared logic, I've accepted the deal.
How do you all think I should proceed is my question? I want the work, I want the fun, I want the fidelity, I need sex dammit... even once amonth would be great... and I need to be true to my feelings and the feelings of all those around me. It's about adhering to principles....
Time will tell.