Getting her back?

[Charlie21]

So basically this girl and I have been off and on for 4 years. We really love each other, and are best friends, but when it came to dating we tended to fight a lot. The fighting was mainly due to me, changing as an individual from who I once was.. I began going out a lot, ignoring her and her cries for what I was doing wrong. We began to fight so much over this that I couldn't take it and someone had to break it off, so it was me. This happened a couple times, but I never improved with my drinking & going out status. That's a really short version of our ride, but know that at 1 time we were very happy together and we hated being away from one another.

Now, just recently, after we have been apart for a good 2 months now, she started dating one of her friends.. someone who would talk her through the bad times with me. Of course, I wanted her back.. (we have said many times that we want to marry one another). Again, I'm keeping this as short as possible, but I have done this a few times before and failed (I still didn't give up the drinking and going out, even though I said I would change).

So, this time.. She has a really hard time believing me. That, and her family knows my ways, so they are against me as well. The thing is, I have %100 given up my past, but it's like cry wolf now. She has a good thing with this new guy, and she's too afraid to come back to me.

I want to be with this girl and no one else.. and I know if I were given just 1 more chance, I could give her everything and make her happy again. Also I want to mention that I didn't want to get back with her just because she was dating someone else.. I found that out later after I started being her friend again (we also have kissed a couple times while they have been/are dating).

So, right now we are friends again.. But she has been a little distant to me after the kissing. I can't tell what she is thinking.. whether kissing me was a bad idea, if she is confused, if she has no intention of coming back to me.. I don't know. I really would like advice on this subject.. such as, how I should act (should I continue being her friend even though she is dating him and I want to be with her?). What could I do to get her back, or at least improve my chances and show her this is for real now?

Thanks for any help..

[Gigabitch]

Actually, Charlie, I don't even believe you. That "one more chance" thing leaves a sour taste.

The only chance you have is to change, really change, whether you do it for her or not. That's the only way she'll know it's not just a ploy to get her back.

[Charlie21]

Actually, Charlie, I don't even believe you. That "one more chance" thing leaves a sour taste.

The only chance you have is to change, really change, whether you do it for her or not. That's the only way she'll know it's not just a ploy to get her back.

But how do I handle my relationship with her in the mean time?

[Gigabitch]

Well, you could start by telling her you don't want to kiss her any more while she's dating someone else. That's what someone with personal integrity would do. You know, the kind of guy you're trying to be.