How being rejected changed my life

[NMBC1993]

Hey everyone, I'm new here but I thought I'd share with you my life changing experience. After a hard break-up I had a couple years ago I have come to realize that its so much better to just spend time with your friends rather then trying to get with someone of the opposite sex. Here is what happened.....

Back in 2006 I started working at a store and there was this one girl there who I never thought anything about but one day we were doing the closing shift and we were talking and she asked me if I wanted to go see Clerks 2 with her. Couldn't pass up that opportunity so we exchanged phone numbers and I waited to hear from her. So the next day she calls up and we head out to the movie and had a great time. So this continues for about 6 months, we hung out together every week, having a great time. Come to find out she loved Disney, which I thought was the one thing no girl in the world would find interesting in a guy. All this time I found myself liking this girl more and more until one day she said "Yeah, I don't date guys because they are jerks, like my last bf." But I thought that's ok because at least we get to hang out. So one day I told her about going on a cruise and she said she had never been on a cruise before so I told her we should totally go one. Also about this time she told me about this customer she was talking to at work, which I didn't think anything about because she only mentioned him once. Now flash forward to the cruise. First night we were watching some video with the kids on the cruise and she said "You know it's a good thing Justin and I don't have to worry about having kids when we do it because I've got that taken care of" I sat there in shock "Justin? The guy she only mentioned once?" So back at the state room I asked her about this whole thing saying "I thought you said you didn't date guys?" and she said "No, what I meant to say was that I only date older guys" (She was 22 and Justin was 37). I couldn't take it so I just went out on deck and was walking around thinking to myself "Should I have said something to her?" then all of a sudden I hear a voice say "If you were waiting for the opportune moment, that was it." I look up and said "Lord?" and it turns out it was Johnny Depp, they were playing Pirates on the pool screen. So anyway her and Justin started going out but I thought "Well it's ok because we can still hang out" which started to change from every week to once a month if I was lucky. And yet, it seems like I did everything for that girl. When I first met her she told me that her brother sold her electronic keyboard for drug money so for her birthday I spent a month before hand finding a keyboard, stand, etc. even made a homemade song book. What did her bf do? He said "Wait? It's your birthday?" Then about 7 months later I told her about a concert I wanted to go to and that she should come. The concert was 3 months away and I told her everyday to ask for the day off. 2 days before hand I asked her if she was ready and she said "Oh well, I don't have to work that day but I have to work the next day and I'd be to tired the next day." I lost it and ever since then we haven't talked.

Three years later I realized that I was just the tool to keep her happy from one bf to the other. Also, I have thought it over and I have come to the conclusion that why do I really need to date? I can do everything I did with her, with my guy friends. I am perfectly happy being my own person, doing great in school, have an awesome job, and have great friends who will always be there when times are down. I am enjoying the single life. I really love anything to do with Disney and I go there often, it really is something that I feel fills the void of not being with anyone. As far as sex goes I figure if your not having a child, what's the point? I can go do something I enjoy like editing movies or spending the day at Disney and have just as much fun as having 10 minutes of "pleasure" with someone who will just end up making fun of you behind you back. I guess what I'm trying to say is that even though breaking up might hurt, sometimes it can work out for the best.

[High Standards]

sounds like you didnt even go out with her though?

[NMBC1993]

Well no I didn't. We use to hang out every week for over a year. Everytime I would talk to her about maybe going out she would say "I don't date guys because they are assholes" until I found out she was going out with the other guy and then she said "Well what I meant to say was I only date older guys". But I did have strong feelings for her. Basically she used me as her "fake bf" in between her breaking up with her old bf and finding the new one. Once she did she kicked me to the curb.

[Justplaying5050]

Yeah sounds like this girl is a grade A b****. Try to find less maniupulative dou*** ba** in the future and im sure youll be ok.
just try ASKING the girl out next time?

I think part of your problem here was that you were expecting her to go out with you at some point, which she said she didnt date guys, at that point you either should have just stopped hanging out with her, or accepted that there wasnt going to be a sexual future for the two of you and been a genuine friend that didnt expect a payoff in the end =P

[Gigabitch]

Dude.

If you're not having children, what's the point of sex? Are you kidding me?

I hope you print this out and show it to your fiancee one day. She'll laugh her ass off. Then you'll both disappear under the covers for about an hour.

[NMBC1993]

I did accept that nothing was going to happen after awhile but what I couldn't take was that first she lied saying she didn't date when infact she found someone and then she blew me off completely once she found her new bf. I didn't care about having sex, I just wanted someone to be with but she decided to blow me off once she found someone else.

[NMBC1993]

"I hope you print this out and show it to your fiancee one day. She'll laugh her ass off. Then you'll both disappear under the covers for about an hour."

Yeah no thanks, I never plan on getting married. I am going to be enjoying the single life for as long as I can.

[Gigabitch]

My point is, if you would rather spend the day at Disneyworld than getting laid, you just haven't found the right girl yet. I believe you will, and getting over your fixation on that girl is the first step.

[NMBC1993]

Yeah I have done that already. I look at this like a learning experience. People take it differently. But yeah the way I look at it I'd rather spend the entire day enjoying something that I love then trying to get with a woman.

[Gigabitch]

Well, maybe I'm just a tart at heart or something, but I would rather spend the afternoon in bed with my husband than do just about anything you could name.

[NMBC1993]

And I'm not saying that you shouldn't but what I am saying is that this makes me happy and this is something I would rather do. I'm just trying to show people that you don't have to have sex or date someone to be happy in the world.

[Justplaying5050]

anyone that asks a question with a pre-concieved notion of the answer will see nothing but fakers and annoyances. why dont you just addmit that you are miserably lonely and really wish you had a lover instead of trying to put disney world in the place of a warm body in your bed in the middle of the night?

[NMBC1993]

I will not admit that, in fact I find it offensive. My entire life has involved Disney, I love that place...I find it somewhere I can go to escape the pressures of the real world (bills, taxes, household problems, etc.) It is a place I can go to just enjoy not have to deal with anything. The way I look at it is why would I want someone spending time in my house? I recently have been living on my own and love it! No one telling me "You should change this" or telling me that they don't like something I do. I can be myself and enjoy what life offers. Frankly I have no interest in sex, I can see why someone would want to do it but I just can't see it as something I need to be happy.

[12many]

Hey everyone, I'm new here but I thought I'd share with you my life changing experience. After a hard break-up I had a couple years ago I have come to realize that its so much better to just spend time with your friends rather then trying to get with someone of the opposite sex. Here is what happened.....

Back in 2006 I started working at a store and there was this one girl there who I never thought anything about but one day we were doing the closing shift and we were talking and she asked me if I wanted to go see Clerks 2 with her. Couldn't pass up that opportunity so we exchanged phone numbers and I waited to hear from her. So the next day she calls up and we head out to the movie and had a great time. So this continues for about 6 months, we hung out together every week, having a great time. Come to find out she loved Disney, which I thought was the one thing no girl in the world would find interesting in a guy. All this time I found myself liking this girl more and more until one day she said "Yeah, I don't date guys because they are jerks, like my last bf." But I thought that's ok because at least we get to hang out. So one day I told her about going on a cruise and she said she had never been on a cruise before so I told her we should totally go one. Also about this time she told me about this customer she was talking to at work, which I didn't think anything about because she only mentioned him once. Now flash forward to the cruise. First night we were watching some video with the kids on the cruise and she said "You know it's a good thing Justin and I don't have to worry about having kids when we do it because I've got that taken care of" I sat there in shock "Justin? The guy she only mentioned once?" So back at the state room I asked her about this whole thing saying "I thought you said you didn't date guys?" and she said "No, what I meant to say was that I only date older guys" (She was 22 and Justin was 37). I couldn't take it so I just went out on deck and was walking around thinking to myself "Should I have said something to her?" then all of a sudden I hear a voice say "If you were waiting for the opportune moment, that was it." I look up and said "Lord?" and it turns out it was Johnny Depp, they were playing Pirates on the pool screen. So anyway her and Justin started going out but I thought "Well it's ok because we can still hang out" which started to change from every week to once a month if I was lucky. And yet, it seems like I did everything for that girl. When I first met her she told me that her brother sold her electronic keyboard for drug money so for her birthday I spent a month before hand finding a keyboard, stand, etc. even made a homemade song book. What did her bf do? He said "Wait? It's your birthday?" Then about 7 months later I told her about a concert I wanted to go to and that she should come. The concert was 3 months away and I told her everyday to ask for the day off. 2 days before hand I asked her if she was ready and she said "Oh well, I don't have to work that day but I have to work the next day and I'd be to tired the next day." I lost it and ever since then we haven't talked.

Three years later I realized that I was just the tool to keep her happy from one bf to the other. Also, I have thought it over and I have come to the conclusion that why do I really need to date? I can do everything I did with her, with my guy friends. I am perfectly happy being my own person, doing great in school, have an awesome job, and have great friends who will always be there when times are down. I am enjoying the single life. I really love anything to do with Disney and I go there often, it really is something that I feel fills the void of not being with anyone. As far as sex goes I figure if your not having a child, what's the point? I can go do something I enjoy like editing movies or spending the day at Disney and have just as much fun as having 10 minutes of "pleasure" with someone who will just end up making fun of you behind you back. I guess what I'm trying to say is that even though breaking up might hurt, sometimes it can work out for the best.

amen to that. but "whats the point of sex??" you gotta release some of that sexual tension buddy.

be single rules. single ftw!

thats what i dont like about being single! no sex! except maybe your strokin buddies, aka jerk off. jk.

you weren't really going out though, so i wouldnt really use the term "breaking up." just say used.

[12many]

And I'm not saying that you shouldn't but what I am saying is that this makes me happy and this is something I would rather do. I'm just trying to show people that you don't have to have sex or date someone to be happy in the world.

good for you. Now, try to find someone that will accept you for who YOU are. A disney lover!

everyone loves disney. i love disney, who doesn't? there you go. you're one step closer to finding someone for you.