How to Talk to/Relate to Women?

[steelsword]

So I was wondering, how am I as a man, supposed to learn/know how to talk to/relate to a woman? I've never really been that good at it and always hear I give off "friend vibes." What can I say/do to change that? Thanks.

[Nielss]

Stop trying to be their therapist. Women think it's GREAT that you're hearing them out and trying to give them advice, because that's what a therapist normally would do, but now they don't even have to pay.

If you love women in general, you'll come across like that without having to hear them out. Try to be more honest in your intentions. So instead of listening to all her problems and saying it's al right (sucking up to her), call her out on it.

[dragondragon]

Try this instead : " Hey if you're going to be trying to spit out your problems at me, I'm going to warn you, it'll be $500 a minute and you'll have to schedule an appointment for $1000 before that..."

Don't settle to be the "therapist". That's what her girlfriends do...if you do stuff similar to this, you'll just be the Guy"Girl"Friend.

[Gigabitch]

Are you like Calvin in the movie Waiting?

[steelsword]

Stop trying to be their therapist. Women think it's GREAT that you're hearing them out and trying to give them advice, because that's what a therapist normally would do, but now they don't even have to pay.

If you love women in general, you'll come across like that without having to hear them out. Try to be more honest in your intentions. So instead of listening to all her problems and saying it's al right (sucking up to her), call her out on it.

Can you give an example of calling her out on it?

Are you like Calvin in the movie Waiting?

Ermm...not sure, been a while since I watched that movie. Remind me what he was like?

[Gigabitch]

Ermm...not sure, been a while since I watched that movie. Remind me what he was like?

He was the one that worked the double shift for Christie and kept asking girls if they were all right. Amy and Serena told him he was too nice and was basically not even a guy in their estimation.

[dragondragon]

What I posted is one way out of a million you can call out a girl on her telling you stuff you really don't need to bother listening to unless you're a "Girlfriend" or want to be stuck in the Friend Zone for the rest of your life.

[steelsword]

Shrug, if something bad happens like they get in a car accident or the like, yeah I will ask, but that is just common decency, IMO. But I dunno, it really depends on the girl.

Not sure what you mean by not listening?

[RSK]

So I was wondering, how am I as a man, supposed to learn/know how to talk to/relate to a woman? I've never really been that good at it and always hear I give off "friend vibes." What can I say/do to change that? Thanks.

Talking to women is easy. Relating to them...forget about it!

[dragondragon]

For example:

Woman: My boyfriend has been a real drag lately, he's been nothing, but an asshole all week!

"Girlfriend" : Oh really? What's wrong?

====

These conversations and those similar to them lead to nothing, but trouble for men that are trying to get "involved" with a woman. Being the ear for her boyfriend problems and jerk problems is not the path you want to take. Taking this path is trying to relate to a woman...Don't do it. You are a man, you do not try to "relate" to women. Talk and have fun conversations with them, but DO NOT listen to the drama.

[steelsword]

For example:

Woman: My boyfriend has been a real drag lately, he's been nothing, but an asshole all week!

"Girlfriend" : Oh really? What's wrong?

====

These conversations and those similar to them lead to nothing, but trouble for men that are trying to get "involved" with a woman. Being the ear for her boyfriend problems and jerk problems is not the path you want to take. Taking this path is trying to relate to a woman...Don't do it. You are a man, you do not try to "relate" to women. Talk and have fun conversations with them, but DO NOT listen to the drama.

I see. I think that is some sound/good advice there Dragon. Thanks. Curious though, how should one respond to such a comment from a woman? Or should one just ignore it completely?

[dragondragon]

There is always a balance steel sword. You don't want to be the over-caring wussy, but don't want to go for the over-bearing asshole also! Ignoring her would be an over-bearing ass-hole move. You do something funny, yet confident like:

"I'd have you know that my psychiatrist advice costs $400 an hour. If you think you can afford it..."

or

"Last time I remember, your girlfriends were more fit for this information because it sure AIN'T ME!

If she has a response to that, keep it up. Don't get angry, but just tease her about how it isn't your job or desire to listen to her "Baby Mama" drama or any other type! lol. Those are just things I came up with on the top of my head, but hopefully you get the point. Keep it light-hearted, but at the same time send the message that you do not want to spend time talking about her drama and boy troubles. Because you're not a girlfriend, you're a man that has better ways to spend his time than that.

[steelsword]

There is always a balance steel sword. You don't want to be the over-caring wussy, but don't want to go for the over-bearing asshole also! Ignoring her would be an over-bearing ass-hole move. You do something funny, yet confident like:

"I'd have you know that my psychiatrist advice costs $400 an hour. If you think you can afford it..."

or

"Last time I remember, your girlfriends were more fit for this information because it sure AIN'T ME!

If she has a response to that, keep it up. Don't get angry, but just tease her about how it isn't your job or desire to listen to her "Baby Mama" drama or any other type! lol. Those are just things I came up with on the top of my head, but hopefully you get the point. Keep it light-hearted, but at the same time send the message that you do not want to spend time talking about her drama and boy troubles. Because you're not a girlfriend, you're a man that has better ways to spend his time than that.

Alrighty. I'll take this under advisement and file it away for later use.

[lovesjoyajm]

There is always a balance steel sword. You don't want to be the over-caring wussy, but don't want to go for the over-bearing asshole also! Ignoring her would be an over-bearing ass-hole move. You do something funny, yet confident like:

"I'd have you know that my psychiatrist advice costs $400 an hour. If you think you can afford it..."

or

"Last time I remember, your girlfriends were more fit for this information because it sure AIN'T ME!

If she has a response to that, keep it up. Don't get angry, but just tease her about how it isn't your job or desire to listen to her "Baby Mama" drama or any other type! lol. Those are just things I came up with on the top of my head, but hopefully you get the point. Keep it light-hearted, but at the same time send the message that you do not want to spend time talking about her drama and boy troubles. Because you're not a girlfriend, you're a man that has better ways to spend his time than that.

Terrible advice. I understand not wanting to be her psychiatrist, but don't go advertising that you're insensitive and a chauvinist to boot ("a man that has better ways to spend his time than that"??) Try to steer the conversation away from just talking about her problems and get it into more neutral territory. If that's impossible, maybe you just don't connect that well and you should drop it. But don't do what dragondragon would obviously do, which is just talk about yourself, because she has better things to do than listening to you men griping.

[doppelgaenger]

As the late Mr. Sam Kinison used to say, "Don't be an emotional tampon."