Guys tend to see me only as a friend?

[zepplica]

Ok, I'm aware of the fact that this question sounds like a cliche, but it's something that's been been bugging be for a while now.
Most of my friends are male, partly because I don't quite like hanging out with girls, but mostly because guys always see me as a "trustworthy" person and have the (sometimes annoying) tendency to ask for advice or tell me about their intimate problems, even though we barely know each other.
Not that I'm bothered by being "one of the gang"(although I'm far from being boyish), but sometimes I'd like to be more. Especially when I see some form of encouragement, that usually comes to nothing, though.
Plus, a couple of days ago, three of my friends had a serious discussion with me about dumping my boyfriend(who also happens to be a mutual friend) who doesn't deserve me, because I'm so beautiful and smart and whatever and they'd all love to have a Gf like me. Thing is they would have had the chance if..well, you get the picture.

Any opinions, anyone?

[Gigabitch]

Plus, a couple of days ago, three of my friends had a serious discussion with me about dumping my boyfriend(who also happens to be a mutual friend) who doesn't deserve me, because I'm so beautiful and smart and whatever and they'd all love to have a Gf like me. Thing is they would have had the chance if..well, you get the picture.

Um, how is this being treated as "one of the guys"? If they saw you only as a friend, would they tell you they'd love to have you for themselves?

[steelsword]

Wow, sounds a lot like me, except I'm a guy and my female friends say similar things to me. Well not the I'd love to have someone like you part, but the rest yes.
My suggestion, if you are really into one of them, make a move yourself. Guys usually like it when a girl makes the first move as it takes a lot of pressure off of them.

[zepplica]

Beats me dude :|. That's part of my dilemma. I guess they meant it when they said "someone like you" and not "you". That's the nagging thing, the fact that a lot of guys keep complimenting me and saying how great it would be to have a relationship with me and dissaproving of all my boyfriends but it's inconceivable for them to ever be with me. I mean, if you don't mean that stuff just don't say it. I dunno if you're following )

[zepplica]

I sincerely would, but I'm afraid that, if I get rejected, then everything is going to be awkward between us. And I'm also terrified of first moves, especially of the "seeming too needy" part.
Then again, every time I try to flirt with subtility I simply seem to send "want to be just friends" signals. And I'm not sure if it has something to do with the way I flirt or with me

[vashti]

If you have a boyfriend already, i don't know what you are expecting. Should they all be throwing themselves at you? Would you be happy then?

[zepplica]

Lol, no. I didn't mean it to sound like that. I was just curious about whether or not guys are sincere when they say these things and what they usually mean by them(reason why I posted it on this forum).
Thing is I used to be really in love with one of those guys(dunno if I still am or not), and I think I've given him enough hints for a long enough period of time(although, as I've said b4, I dunno if I'm particularly good at it) and he made it clear he wanted to be just friends but some things he does and says totally contradict that. And it's also strange that he chooses to say them now, when I'm no longer available. Guess I'm just having a hard time getting over him, that's all.

[Justplaying5050]

So he said he wanted to be friends when you DIDNT have a boyfriend, and is now telling you he likes you after you find a boyfriend?

[zepplica]

Yup. If that's what he meant, then yes.

[Lite]

It sounds like you're shallow, encouraging these guys to hit on you to stroke your own ego, and that you're doing a very poor job of defending your boyfriend.

They're not friends, they're guys who want to **** you but haven't yet. They don't respect that you're in a relationship, and they're all 3 trying to weasel their way into your pants at the expense of their mutual friend.

They're not good people, and that should have been a pretty big red flag for you.

But of course, you're just secretly pining away for another guy and don't have the moral integrity to cut your current boyfriend loose to find someone better than you who actually cares about him. You're keeping him around in hopes the other guy makes a move, and if he doesn't well you've got the current man as your backup bitch.