Have you thought to ask your guy this question?
Plenty of guys 'get it'... so there might be a miscommunication between you and your guy. Would be a good idea to sit down and discuss this with him in an open, relaxed, and nonjudgmental way.
"The weakest soul, knowing its own weakness, and believing this truth that strength can only be developed by effort and practice, will, thus believing, at once begin to exert itself, and, adding effort to effort, patience to patience, and strength to strength, will never cease to develop, and will at last grow divinely strong."
- James Allen