Would no marriage put you off ?

[Dave Pearce]

I have been with my partner for 5 years now.

Before her, I was married which ended in divorce.

I said to my girlfriend a few years ago that I have no desire to marry again, my exact words were 'been there, done that and got the t-shirt'.

She is upset about this, she has never been married.

She says me having this attitude on marriage means I am holding baggage or that I don't love her enough to marry her.

What do you suggest ? I won't marry again just because she wants to, I just don't have a desire to marry, once I've been married its out of my system. But i can see it being a bit unfair on her.

[lovesjoyajm]

What exactly are your objections to getting married, besides "I don't feel like it"? "I've already done it once" isn't valid unless you can point out what it was exactly that you don't want to do again.

[Gigabitch]

I think you're going to end up a lonely old man, with only a t-shirt to keep you warm.

[Sonrisa]

well, you've said it all, ladies.

[bluesummer]

Like it was said before - what's the big deal? If you really AREN'T holding onto any emotional baggage, then marrying again shouldn't be an issue. The only issue would be if you are not completely certain you want to spend the rest of your life with this woman. That would be a fair reason to really analyze the idea of getting married again. Nobody wants to go through a divorce, and definitely not twice. If it's the money you're worried about, get a really good pre-nup.

I was previously married, and as hellish as my marriage was, I was happy to accept my current fiance's proposal because I have no doubt he's the right one. It didn't jade me towards marriage in general, just bad men

Oh, and to answer your original question, yes, no possibility of marriage would be a deal breaker for me, for more than just traditional reasons. I'm not cool with referring to my mate as my boyfriend when I'm 65.

[Petit Papillon]

Why get marry if You already think about divorcing her? Leave her and finito ;]

Marriage is a thing to assume Your love to each other.If You don't even think about marrying her then what... She's just a doll to have a place to cum to?

[vashti]

If you don't want to remarry, I suggest you date women who are likewise not interested. You might find them in greater numbers if you date middle-aged or older, financially secure women.

[Dave Pearce]

It's not that I can't see it lasting, I can. We've been together a long time and I love her. I just don't feel I need a bit of paper to prove it.

Before I married, it was something I wanted to do and it just felt like the next step with my then wife.

But now I kinda feel it's out of my system and the desire to get married again isn't as strong.

But that doesn't mean to say I love my partner any less.

It's a fact that second marriages aren't as expensive or grand as the first and I do believe that's coz it isn't about having a big wedding anymore.

My firlfriend has never been married and I think that's why she wants it. I think if she had been married previously, she would be less bothered about it.

Isn't the fact that we are a couple living together happily the most important thing ?

I am not against marriage, but I'm just saying the desire or excitement of it isn't as strong as it was with my first wife and if I was to propose or marry my girlfriend, I would be worrying about the resons behind it 0 because it's what she wants.

[Dave Pearce]

If you don't want to remarry, I suggest you date women who are likewise not interested. You might find them in greater numbers if you date middle-aged or older, financially secure women.

Are you saying women want to get married for financial security ?

[Dave Pearce]

Why get marry if You already think about divorcing her? Leave her and finito ;]

Marriage is a thing to assume Your love to each other.If You don't even think about marrying her then what... She's just a doll to have a place to cum to?

I'm not thinking about divorcing her. I can see it lasting.

Just that I dont feel the need to have a piece of paper to prove it.

Don't you think a couple can be happy together without marriage ?

[lovesjoyajm]

It's not that I can't see it lasting, I can. We've been together a long time and I love her. I just don't feel I need a bit of paper to prove it.

Before I married, it was something I wanted to do and it just felt like the next step with my then wife.

But now I kinda feel it's out of my system and the desire to get married again isn't as strong.

But that doesn't mean to say I love my partner any less.

It's a fact that second marriages aren't as expensive or grand as the first and I do believe that's coz it isn't about having a big wedding anymore.

My firlfriend has never been married and I think that's why she wants it. I think if she had been married previously, she would be less bothered about it.

Isn't the fact that we are a couple living together happily the most important thing ?

I am not against marriage, but I'm just saying the desire or excitement of it isn't as strong as it was with my first wife and if I was to propose or marry my girlfriend, I would be worrying about the resons behind it 0 because it's what she wants.

You say if she had been married before you don't think she would feel as strongly about it. Well, put yourself in her shoes. When you were in a relationship with your wife, you felt like it was the next step. That's how your girlfriend feels now, and why should you deprive her of taking that next step? You got to take it! It's not her fault you've already done it.

Also, you say the desire and excitement isn't "as strong". It's not as strong, or it's not there? It's funny because there are plenty of people here who don't want to get married for various ideological reasons, and that's thrown a huge wrench into the works of their relationships, making it seem impossible for them to stay together.

Consider yourself lucky that you came out of your first marriage without bitterness towards marriage, that you aren't faced with this massive difference in beliefs about relationships and marriage that many couples are, and sure, do it to make your partner happy.

[Dave Pearce]

You say if she had been married before you don't think she would feel as strongly about it. Well, put yourself in her shoes. When you were in a relationship with your wife, you felt like it was the next step. That's how your girlfriend feels now, and why should you deprive her of taking that next step? You got to take it! It's not her fault you've already done it.

Also, you say the desire and excitement isn't "as strong". It's not as strong, or it's not there? It's funny because there are plenty of people here who don't want to get married for various ideological reasons, and that's thrown a huge wrench into the works of their relationships, making it seem impossible for them to stay together.

Consider yourself lucky that you came out of your first marriage without bitterness towards marriage, that you aren't faced with this massive difference in beliefs about relationships and marriage that many couples are, and sure, do it to make your partner happy.

I can understand her point to be honest.

When I married, I had expectations that were not the reality of life as a married couple. What I thought were important then, wasn't really important at all. That's not to say we married for the wrong reasons or that we didn't love each other though.

Now I know what is really important and it's what I have now.

I'm not bitter about marriage or to my ex wife, we are on good terms and I'm still in touch with her family.

Of course, I can give my girlfriend what she wants but I don't want to disappoint her.

[Petit Papillon]

I'm not thinking about divorcing her. I can see it lasting.

Just that I dont feel the need to have a piece of paper to prove it.

Don't you think a couple can be happy together without marriage ?

If You see it lasting - WHERE IS THE PROBLEM TO MARRY HER?

If You don't care about piece of paper , why it can't be there? Is this a problem ? Tell Yourself - if a piece of paper would do You a problem?

Yes I do.Only if both think they don't want to marry. But if one wants, and other thinks he doesn't need to just because he feels like it, I don't see them happily ever after...


I really don't understand why do people act like they have BIG trauma after they,their parents or their neighbours get divorced. It happens jesus. It's not the end of the world. You don't have to say ,untill You die, that You will never get married because there is so many divorces now, or Your parents got divorce, or You already got divorce once...
MArriage for a woman is such a beautiful day ,almost every woman dreams about this.I would be really upset if my partner would tell me he will never marry me.
And You know why?
Because if people aren't married, if they get to fight, they can jsut split up like there was nothing between them. But when they are married,before they got divorced, they try to fix this.Divorce is the last step for them.Marriage ties people closer .That's my point of view...

[Dave Pearce]

If You see it lasting - WHERE IS THE PROBLEM TO MARRY HER?

If You don't care about piece of paper , why it can't be there? Is this a problem ? Tell Yourself - if a piece of paper would do You a problem?

Yes I do.Only if both think they don't want to marry. But if one wants, and other thinks he doesn't need to just because he feels like it, I don't see them happily ever after...


I really don't understand why do people act like they have BIG trauma after they,their parents or their neighbours get divorced. It happens jesus. It's not the end of the world. You don't have to say ,untill You die, that You will never get married because there is so many divorces now, or Your parents got divorce, or You already got divorce once...
MArriage for a woman is such a beautiful day ,almost every woman dreams about this.I would be really upset if my partner would tell me he will never marry me.
And You know why?
Because if people aren't married, if they get to fight, they can jsut split up like there was nothing between them. But when they are married,before they got divorced, they try to fix this.Divorce is the last step for them.Marriage ties people closer .That's my point of view...

It sounds as if you are saying, I just want it easy to walk away if things go wrong ?

It is no big deal to me, I would be happy with a quick registry office but I doubt my girlfriend would like that.

The marriage is surely more important than the wedding day.

[Petit Papillon]

Do as You wish. You asked how other females see that and we've told You. We don't guarantee Your gf will be happy with that.but if it makes YOU happy,do Your thing. Maybe she breaks up with You or You stay forever together. Best luck.