What should I expect?

[TG 12X35]

First some background information. I'm 19, had girlfriends in middle school (if that counts), I was not attracted to either of these girls, but they were so I went for it. Each relationship only lasted a month mainly due to my "nice guy syndrome" coming out. Never had a girlfriend in high school, but there was one girl I saw for a little while junior year that I brought to homecoming, but again it ended because of my nice guy attitude. Then there was another girl that I did some stuff with freshman and senior year who has always been really into me, but could be at the extreme least described as an emotional wreck. I knew this very well going in, but just wanted to achieve something physical. Last time I did anything with her was over a year and a half ago and I avoid contact with her. Right around the middle of my junior year I heard of a man named David Deangelo and the cocky funny routine. I have since adopted it, but haven't gone anywhere with it, because I believe I have put too much pressure on myself on developing a relationship and not just relaxing about it.

In the past few months I changed something about myself. I decided to focus on the physical aspect of myself. I've always been pretty muscular and described by many as a beast, but I've had some fat to go along with it. I have since dropped a good portion of this fat and retained my muscle. I know keep my hair short and style it every day. I have up to this point now invested over $500 in clothes to also make myself look better. Quite frankly if you saw a picture of me today and one of me five months ago, you'd barely recognize me. One thing I hoped this would accomplish is that I hoped this girl I was friends with would notice and put effort to see me as more than a friend as I had also put a lot of effort into my appearance as well as how I acted. Her views haven't changed and as a result I've diminished my contact with her significantly.

Right now I attend a community college so there isn't much of a party scene. A few weeks ago I visited one of my friends at his school to go to a party and hope to get laid, but I had a sort of social anxiety panic attack and just straight freaked out. I just kept replaying all the negative images I've ever had of myself in my head whether they were still true or not. I felt I again put way too much pressure on myself over this. Now fast forward to today. I am visiting my friend at his school again this weekend in hopes of achieving some success. I feel kind of uncomfortable with the idea of losing my virginity to a stranger, but I somehow feel that this is a hurdle I need to jump over and once I do good things will happen. What that is, I don't know. Maybe self esteem or the ability to treat obtaining relationships as less of a big deal and thus increase my chances of obtaining one. My strategy this time has changed. I'm just gonna go to this party, start drinking a bit, and make sure I'm having fun. I bought a new shirt that shows off my muscles nicely and I'm not gonna go into it expecting to get laid. My goal is to put less pressure on myself.

To make this clear, this is what I'm asking for. What is your opinion on losing your virginity to a stranger? Is it necessarily a bad thing or can it be good? I have always felt very apprehensive about it, but I currently feel this may help me gain some confidence to be better. Who knows maybe I just won't go all the way and will just stop at second or third base. I feel that is an option too. Everything is an option. Please notify me asap if I didn't make this clear enough to read or didn't explain something well and I will fix it as soon as notified.

[Lonely Island]

My advice is to loose it to someone that you are in a relationship with...Mainly someone you love...

But do what you gotta do

[LoveHurts09]

err i think u'd be making a mistake, u just need to meet some1 who loves u for u, u just need to give them the chance to get to know u instead of hating urself all the time.... easier said then done i know but it's possible and u will look back on ur current self and laugh.

goodluck with whatever though.

[TG 12X35]

I just feel very frustrated by a perceived lack of success. I keep focusing on this and what I'm gonna do, but I know I won't have an idea of what will happen until I'm there. I don't think I can do anything about it right now, but I keep thinking like I can.

[jjj]

yeah maybe if there's someone at the party who u know, but not mega good friends with, and u believe might have sex/do some things. act confident around them and give it a go? maybe if somehing happened it could give u a natural instinct of more confidence? only guesses of advice. but it could help...atleast worth a go imo

[TG 12X35]

I won't know anybody at this party at all except for my friend. Well except for a few people that I've only met once.

[Rollerderby]

I mean, are you just trying to loose it? There are hookers for that, and hopefully they are also strangers...

seriously though, I lost my virginity when I was 17 to some random guy I was kind of seeing. Basically just wanted to get it over and done with. Shortly after we stopped seeing each other I met my first love, who was a virgin. I was his first, he was my second. But I wish I had waited.

It's one thing to **** around once youu've had your heart and balls broken, but it's another thing to give away a part of yourself like that. I know it's kind of different for girls than guys, but you sound like you're also not really comfortable with loosing it to a stranger. You're 19, you have time, so just chill out and see what happens. Don't force something like that.

[TG 12X35]

I don't know what I'm thinking. Last time I put a bunch of pressure on myself to lose it that night and I basically had a bit of a panic attack.

[Rollerderby]

well then, best to not do anything til you've figured yourself out. You also have to consider the other party in this fluids exchange