the most miserable time of my entire life

[solferina]

Hello everyone,
The reason I decided to write here is because I want the guys to tell me what they think. Please. I and my bf have been together for 2 years. I am so attached to him and love him to death. He loves me too. The problem is that he is a free bird he doesn’t want to live in this cold city and he wants to travel before he gets old. I am 20 and he is 24. I adore him and love him like crazy I would do anything in this world to be with him and take a bullet for him. He is leaving in 1 month and I don’t think he is coming back eve though he told me that someday we will be together again. He says that I changed his life and I am one of the most wonderful things that happened to him but he needs to live a little bit. He is the only person that I rely on we laugh on the same jokes and we are so good together. I have one month left and I don’t know what to do. I am suffering and crying I just can’t take it anymore. I don’t know if I will see him again and that is making me nuts. Please someone tell me something why and what should I do. Please guys it is the most horrible time of my life since I was born. Help me!!!

[Anomaly]

Is there any way that you could go with him? Has he offered to take you with him? That seems like the only way that you could be happy, because stopping him from leaving would obviously make him unhappy. Or just give him an ultimatum and tell him that if he leaves then it's over between the both of you. Maybe he would choose you over traveling. These are just some suggestions, do what you feel is best for you. Best of luck to you!

[vashti]

It is appropriate that your boyfriend do this now, before he has a family to think of. In fact, you should be thinking of doing something similar (not necessarily travel, but something big and life-changing).

You should look up Charlieboy's old threads. He traveled around Europe for almost a year while his girl waited for him. She handled herself with a lot of dignity and grace. You should strive for the same. Do not ask or expect him to give this up for you. Even if he did, he would hate you for the rest of your life.

Sorry, hun. Hang in there. Find some hobbies you love and start reconnecting with old friends. YOu are going to have to start rebuilding your life without him.

[Gigabitch]

Frankly, if this is the worst thing that ever happens to you, you're having a charmed life. I'm not trying to deny your feelings, here, but you've got to get some perspective.

He said you'll be together again. This means he still loves you. That is WAY more important than the fact that you won't see him for a while.

Why don't you focus on what you're going to do while he's gone? he'll be out there having adventures and doing interesting things, but you won't be living under a rock, will you? You'll be changing and learning new things too, and when he comes back you'll be even more amazing and loveable than you are now.

[Mish]

I recommend to break up for now and live your own life. When or if he comes back then you can decide whether or not to continue the relationship. Don't make any promises to him.

[ritah59]

Hello solferina,

My advice is to not stop him from enjoying the experiences of the distant lands!

Given today's technology, the two of you can always stay in touch. Instead of feeling miserable, just think of the more mature outlook and perspective that he will bring with him when he returns. If you are planning to settle down in marriage with him, then this will most certainly help!

Best,
R.

[solferina]

Thank you for the advice. It really helped me. He is really confused right now and really nervous. I want him to travel because I want it too. But I cant because I go to school. I want him to be happy but I love him so muck. I dont even think that he will be back in this miserable city. I think he will forget how it was with me and he will move on. Thats probably what I will do too but maybe not. anyways thank you guys you are great