Well.. I'll try keep this short..
Ever since Ive met this girl (Lets call her 'Z') I haven't been thinking about or looking at other girls AT ALL. All I seem to be thinking about is her. I've never felt this way about a girl.. and I thought I had felt love before, but it was just lust/puppy love.
Shes unique/likes similar things to me/is nice/dresses different/is a raver/shuffles(Thats like +15 points from me)
I really don't know why I like her so much though.. Alot of my friends say they wouldn't date her.. She is kinda pretty but she dresses lolita(Like a doll pretty much).. Which puts alot of people off.
She always talks with me really openly..
Anyway, my "good" friend(Lets call him B) told me that he likes 'Z' too.. But I told him how much I feel for her and he said he wouldn't do anything with her/flirt with her or anything of the sort.
A week or two ago I was talking with 'Z' and part of the conversation went like this:
her: can i ask you something strange?
me: sure, ask anything
her: kay.. well, if I asked out B what do you think he would say?
me: uh probably yes <-(Fail I know..)
her: yay
(This totally crushed me...)
Well, anyway.. She told me she likes 'B' and all that jazz.. Then I went and IM'd him.. He reassured me that he wouldn't act upon it. So I was some-what happier knowing that..
I didn't really talk to her that much after that.. Only short conversations/IM's...
But just a few days ago, I found out that 'Z' and 'B' are dating.. (Another story in itself.) So that made me really angry with 'B'.. Now I still am angry at him.. But we still talk. :/ He claims that he told me he wont date her so as not to hurt me.. :/
Now since this has happened, everything seems to be screwing up.. I didn't go out last night because I was going to go out tonight.. But I ended up not doing anything tonight cause I couldn't get through to my friend and the(approx 25) other friends that I asked couldn't come out..
AND now the girl I was going out with to the movies tomorrow (To try get my mind off 'Z') said that she probably cant go.. And will call me in the morning, I bet she wont come..(blah, i really wanted to see fast and furious with her too)
Not to mention I haven't been able to sleep at all and didnt sleep for 3 nights straight.(Before Last Night) Just because I couldn't fall asleep from stress/thinking about 'Z' / 'B' and about everything really.
Now to make my weekend worse, I had to format my computer which caused me to lose all of my important data.. -.-
Blahh, I think I'm becoming depressed.. I think its all because of 'Z' and 'B'.
I'm usually really optimistic, you can ask any of my friends and they will all say that they have never seen me sad or feeling down.. Its all because of this girl..
I've been feeling a little depressed because of school too.. I really just cant be bothered with it and I don't really see the point in completing it now.. I wish I could do night school and finish year 11/12 in 6 months. I would actually try 110% and get decent marks.. Instead of not bothering/paying attention at all like now.. (I want to go into real estate after school, if that doesn't work I'll do graphic design/web design or something along those lines.. Plus I'm going to start DJ'ing in clubs when I turn 16 and I am already producing music..) + I own a import business now.. :/
I've been considering dropping out of school.. But I'm not 100% sure what to do now.. The only reasons I can see for staying are that it would be a little harder to get a job and that my mum would be really disappointed..
Anyways... I think all this crap is making me slowly fall into depression.. :/
This wasn't really that short.. But eh, I could go on for days! Sorry for any errors in spelling/grammar.. I'm suffering from a bit of sleep deprivation.. :/
Hmm, I actually feel a tiny bit better telling all of the internet that..